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alleghany



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 2049

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 9:32 AM    Post subject: So-called Friends Reply with quote

Today is my 100 day anniversary. As I've mentioned before, it has been a rough summer for me. Thank God for Fall! LOL!!! Wink

Well, I guess it is time to admit that I have some pretty lousy so-called friends. My feelings are really, really hurt that they have not acknowledged my quit. I have read whyquit.com's library about non-smokers not understanding, people "forgetting" after a while, etc. etc. But, my 3D "friends" either insist to my face that I will: 1) relapse 2) constantly ask if I am smoking and/or gaining weight or 3) just never mention smoking when they would brow-beat me before I quit. Crying or Very sad

Part of my anger is in how much I have supported these so-called friends in their lives. I'm thinking of doing some serious weeding in my life's garden. Cool

OK ~ my pity party is over and I am proud of my quit and all the folks here. I'm savoring the excitement of finding an awesome reward for myself and am so happy to be alive. I know God will send some 3D folks my way to share in the joy.

Pulling out my pruning sheers to cut some negativity out of my life! Cool
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Quit date: June 6, 2004
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law_girl_1969



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 626
Location: Freeburg, Illinois

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 9:42 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Isn't it funny...well, more like interesting...how once our personal cloud of smoke has lifted, we can see a LOT of things more clearly? Wink

I love your "weeding" comment, I'll be using that in the future. Perfect description of what I've done in my own life over the past 8 months.

Keep being good to you, and you get your rear here whenever you need a pat on the back. We're always ready!

Take care hon.
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Lynn

"There are those who think they can and those who think they can't and they are both right." Henry Ford
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Marigrrl



Quit Date:
December 1, 2010

Posts: 894
Location: New York

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 9:48 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am sure your friends do care but just don't realize how hard quitting really is. Unless someone has quit before, they think its just very easy and no big deal.

Most of my friends could care less that I have quit. I tell them and I don't really get any kind of response. They don;t get how hard it really is. Which i guess is great for them, since they are non-smokers, i am happy they made the decision to never smoke but at the same time their lack of concern or support seemed rather cold.

My smoker friends, really dont say a thing. In their eyes I left the club, and deep down, hate that I can quit and that I am actually not smoking. I think they want to see my fail, and ask questions like...OH how long are you going to quit for??

If you think they aren't good friends then go ahead and weed your garden. But i just realize with my own life, that I come to the message boards and post or talk to other ex-smokers, or get support from my boyfriend. Most people that don't smoke, or so addicted they dont see a reason to quit, really don't understand what it is to quit. I know there are some out there that do, but just from personal experience, this is what I found.

Congrats on your 100 day anniversary!! I hope you find yourself an awesome reward!!!

Mariko
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 10:36 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations on 100 days. That's a great milestone Very Happy
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Essie
4/14/04
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 11:15 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

WOW! 100 days of freedom. That's awesome.

Keep up the good work no matter what your "friends" say. Happy gardening.
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Pamela



Quit Date:
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Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 11:23 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds to me like you need an "atta girl". Here's a big one from me. Very Happy
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 11:33 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

100 days sounds great. My friends used to do the same and thats when I near snapped their heads off and asked "WHAT PART OF QUIT DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND" Odd now they brag about me to all that come around. Laughing I think it's one of those cases where it's all in the delivery. Keep focused and remember you are one of my bread crumbs so stay out front.
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
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Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 12:28 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey! I hear you!!!!

The other day, I told my mom I'm quitting Monday. Her response,"Are you really going to do this?" Of all the people...my mom, the wife of my father who died from cancer that stemmed from lung cancer to begin with. It's crazy. Then hubby didn't acknowledge my quit yesterday, which sent me over the top. So, what are we to do? Blow it off. We would really like to be recognized for all the hard effort and work in quitting, but like Mariko said, they just don't get it. But, it still does hurt us inside. I personally am going to try and ignore any negative comments and lack of comments. I'm chaulking it up to ignorance on their part. Wink

Proud of your 100 days quit!!!!
Deb
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Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 12:33 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well tell them again about the smoking.... congratulations on your 100 days you and Barbd both. I saw it on the board and I hope I responded but you know I am not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Kay
Wink
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Ben's Mom



Quit Date:
July 6, 2004

Posts: 322
Location: Paradise, California

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 12:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am learning that my strength is inside of me. Often what I am looking for in my friends is what I am lacking inside myself.

My favorite lines from a poem that a dear friend gave me says....

So, you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul. Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. (simply beautiful)And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth. And you learn....And you learn.
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alleghany



Quit Date:
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Posts: 2049

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 1:10 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you all for each post!!! Each one made me laugh, smile and nod.

The good news is that I am at the point in my quit where I (obviously) have begun looking at my life. The bad news is....well...just the same! Wink

I spent 25 years hiding behind smoking and it is really an amazing journey disecting what I have done to myself. So, I really appreciate all words of encouragement and/or advice. Cool

Edited because I've also obviously lost my verbs today! lol!!!
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 1:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

First Happy happy 100 days free Awesome!

Next I have thought alot about this subject since quittting. Hardly nobody says a word about my quitting in my life. Yet my children where always, always on my case to quit. Waving smoke away in disgust. My dad was always saying I wish you'd quit. Ron after he had quit started hounding me. No of them say a word. I always remember Ron's lunnaversery and tell him how proud I am of him. You'd think as bad as they wanted you to quit and hounded you to do so that some one even once in awhile would say 'gee I am proud of you that you quit smoking' but noooooooooooo not a word unless I memtion it. I just find that so strange. I do not think they a capable of seeing how important this is to us.???
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Tammy
Free and loving it!
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Carla



Quit Date:
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Posts: 347
Location: Kansas City, MO

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 2:05 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations on your 100 Smoke Free Days. On the subject of friends, I started taking walks on my breaks instead of smoking. For the first couple of weeks, a "friend" started following me. She didn't believe I had quit and thought I was smoking in the park where no one could see me. Sometimes weeding is a good thing...
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Carla
Quit Date: January 4, 2004
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bwick18



Quit Date:
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Posts: 580
Location: Florida

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 3:16 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

When my mother in law, who has been quit for 20 ++ years, was down she saw my quit meter pop up on my screen to congratulate me on my first month or some milestone on my computer and she turned to me and said "Oh get over it already" (thus the detesting of the mother in law from there henceforth). I came very close to giving in(for other reasons as well) while she was down. But this is your quit whether people are understanding or not, don't compromise it for anything.
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Barb
After the rain comes the rainbow- I will get my rainbow back
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: September 14, 2004 3:21 PM    Post subject: BARB Reply with quote

The mother in-law sounds like a real treat Laughing Laughing Laughing Next time try telling her you can only get over one thing at a time and right now you had to concentrate on her VISIT. Laughing That was just way to funny maybe you can find a free pop up for how many days till her next visit. Wink
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