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SMOKEY THE HUSBAND...

 
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mita



Quit Date:
August 30, 2004

Posts: 24
Location: kenmore, WA

PostPosted: October 3, 2004 4:47 PM    Post subject: SMOKEY THE HUSBAND... Reply with quote

I'm frustrated....My husband and I watched several people die from smoking related diseases. I quit about five weeks ago and he is "just not ready"....we haven't been married even a year yet and I'd really like to grow old together. I don't want to end up sitting by a hospital bed while he is gasping for air. Sort of depresses me. I sure hope he quits so we can be healthy and active together for a long, long, time. Even one more day on this beautiful earth is worth it. It worries me so very much.
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Victories quickly won are not nearly so rewarding as victories won through patience, endurance, and trial.
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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: October 3, 2004 5:29 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi mita, yes it is frustrating. Especially when we know they are harming their health if they continue. We both know he will only Quit when he gets ready. The same as it was with you and me. Please be very careful and take extra special care of your Quit right now. This is the kind of situation that could potentially be a back door for you. As long as you recognize it and are prepared to nail it shut, you will be okay. Hang in there Mita. You are doing a great job on this Quit! Very Happy
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Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: October 3, 2004 7:25 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tonya is so right about this Mita, my hubby quit in his late twenties and is now 60 and I have only been quit for 9 weeks.....he has to do it on his own and you have to be strong enough to let him.....my hubby stayed on me the whole time but is sutle, loving ways...in fact he is the one who handed me the website address for FFS.
Kay
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kjsblue



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 756
Location: Nebraska

PostPosted: October 4, 2004 9:33 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm in the same position with my BF/Fiancee right now. I'm torn as I love him and want to grow old with him, yet he doesn't take very good care of himself AT ALL...I know that the only thing I can do is take are of me, and hope & pray that things change for him, but that's all I can do. I struggle with being angry at him and sad for myself, and everything in between. I wish I had some answers...I guess I just wanted to let you know that there are others going through something similar. For me, it's comforting knowing there are others out there who understand what I'm feeling.

Take care,
Kris
One month, three weeks, five days, 7 hours, 58 minutes and 40 seconds. 1146 cigarettes not smoked, saving $229.33. Life saved: 3 days, 23 hours, 30 minutes.
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If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it -- William Arthur Ward

Q.D. August 8th, 2004
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Katy



Quit Date:
January 4, 2002

Posts: 71
Location: Missouri

PostPosted: October 4, 2004 9:58 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mita.....I quit while my hubby was still smoking. At first it irritated me that he wouldn't jump right in and follow my example......but after a few days I realized that I was just directing my anger over quitting toward him instead of where it belonged........My Addiction! that addiction was to blame for my feelings. I slowly learned to concentrate on "myself" and my own little baby (my quit). When I stopped pressuring him and glaring at him (face it, I resented that he was still smoking and I wasn't!) Things became easier for me.....and he actually became quite supportive of me.
It was about three months down the road when HE also quit!! One happy day for me. and then in short order our kids quit!! At that point I realized what is possible from setting the standard.
Don't give up hope that he will decide to quit......but HE has to decide it. Keep your quit just about YOU. You may not be aware of it, but he IS watching. Be a good example
Katy
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: October 4, 2004 3:37 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mita, Congrats on your 5 weeks quit and for quitting while having a smoker in the house. Hopefully your husband will be ready to quit soon.
I wish my husband had of quit years before he did. If he had, he would not have had to have open heart surgery at the age of 46.
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Tammy
Free and loving it!
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: October 4, 2004 4:47 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just be patient Mita. Keep praying for him, and you concentrate on your quit. Before you know it, he'll see how good you feel. How much more energy you have, all the good points of not smoking. He do some of his own thinking. Best thing you can do now is just keep your quit, and love him dearly!

Love, Londa
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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terryg



Quit Date:
May 13, 2004

Posts: 177
Location: washington

PostPosted: October 4, 2004 11:29 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mita,

Focus on "your" quit and the reasons you wanted to quit. You were not quiting for anyone else, you had your own reasons, and you did it in your own time. Your husband will have to have his own reasons, and do it in his own time. Remember when........... you were still a smoker, and had not yet contemplated quiting? There was absolutely nothing anyone could say to me or prove to me to make me do it for them. My husband tried & tried to get me to quit, then gave up many years ago. It was when I was ready; that I did it.
Keep focused on your quit, stay strong. This quiting business is hard work, we need to use all our strength on ourselves right now just keeping ourselves quit. PS: your doing great !!!!!!!
Terry
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Jenny



Quit Date:
August 2, 2004

Posts: 225
Location: Southeastern Indiana

PostPosted: October 5, 2004 8:29 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wish he would quit, too. My husband never smoked - so I know if he did - it would be difficult for me!

So, you have to be stronger, unfortunately! And, you can do it, but you have to put all the concentration on yourself, not him, he will quit when he is ready, not when you want him to.

I wanted to quit 10 years ago. Yes, not LOOK HOW STUPID that is. It was ten frustrating years dealing with the thought of smoking..and wanting to quit.

I'll pray that he gets strong and ready to quit sooner than 10 years, but you have to knwo that you cannot control that.

SO MORE POWER TO YOU SISTER AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. Wink
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bwick18



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 580
Location: Florida

PostPosted: October 6, 2004 9:00 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mita,
My husband quit 5 months ahead of me and I even set a quit date one month after him and I failed because I was not ready. I had no desire to quit. But seeing his new found energy and ability to breath helped me to come to the conclusion that I at least needed to try. Also I always felt bad because I knew he had to smell me. And I knew smelling like smoke was not very sexy. Keep up the good work, he will come around in time.
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Barb
After the rain comes the rainbow- I will get my rainbow back
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