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Saying Goodbye...why is it so hard??
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law_girl_1969



Quit Date:
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Posts: 626
Location: Freeburg, Illinois

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 3:07 PM    Post subject: Saying Goodbye...why is it so hard?? Reply with quote

I didn't have a clue where this type of post belonged, but I had to get some words down before I lose it again completely.

My dear dear Molly (my 8 year old black lab) is going to have to be put to sleep, probably next week. I can't bring myself to make the appointment, so my usually insensitive husband told me to let it go and he would take care of it all.

As I sit here bawling, I just don't know what else to do besides bawl. My kids keep asking me what's wrong, even though they know what is wrong. They are struggling with the news of this as well, and I don't want to make it any harder on them by being a complete emotional basket case.

I know that it is the right thing to do, I know that she is suffering and it's not fair to keep her around just because it's too painful for me to let go. But each time she lifts that head up and looks at me with those droopy eyes and ears I just feel my heart breaking.

It's times like this that I would have dried my tears in a cloud of smoke and reformed my stiff upper lip. I can't do that anymore, I won't do that anymore, but I don't know what to do with all these tears either.

I'm going to miss my baby girl so much...

Thanks for listening you guys...I know there's nothing to say or do...just need to get through it...and I know I will.
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Lynn

"There are those who think they can and those who think they can't and they are both right." Henry Ford
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Pamela



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Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 3:34 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad


I once had to put a pet to sleep, and had the vet come to the house. They gave him a shot to put him out, and then the final one. We were all able to say "goodbye" with him at home, and it was much less painful and stressful for the dog, and for the humans. Any chance you can look into this? Rolling Eyes

I'm going in the house now to give my hound a hug. I'm sorry.
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alison



Quit Date:
June 3, 2003

Posts: 751
Location: Next Stop, Michigan

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 4:12 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry for your pain Sweetie. You are loving to let her go and you need to cry. Release all those feelings, that is why we cry, to let go.

I will keep you, your family and Molly in my prayers.
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I wish you peace.

alison
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law_girl_1969



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Posts: 626
Location: Freeburg, Illinois

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 4:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh wow, Pam, I never thought of that. My vet didn't mention that, I wonder if that means he doesn't do it?? He did give me the nitty gritty because I said I want to be in the room...I'm pretty sure I do. I can't imagine dropping her off and leaving her feeling abandoned...

oh, hubby keeps reminding me that animals aren't people, but they sure love like people do - better than people actually!! - and it's hard not to project human emotion on them as well...

Thanks for the idea Pam, that might be something to consider asking about...Not sure if my kiddos want to be there though yet.
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Lynn

"There are those who think they can and those who think they can't and they are both right." Henry Ford
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law_girl_1969



Quit Date:
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Posts: 626
Location: Freeburg, Illinois

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 4:15 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you, Alison, my dear friend. I needed to hear that. What is it with me and not being willing to cry??? Sometimes I wonder if smoking just completely stunted my emotional growth at age 14...
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Lynn

"There are those who think they can and those who think they can't and they are both right." Henry Ford
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Paula



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Posts: 294
Location: Sacramento, CA

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 4:19 PM    Post subject: ((((((LYNN)))))) Reply with quote

Lynn.... I am so sorry you are going through this. I want you to know that I manage a pet cemetery. I deal with what you are going through every day. I know what your pain is like. Unfortunately the vets do not do a lot to educate you about options. If you ever want to talk to me, please feel free to look me up or email me at paulamcca@hotmail.com

I truly know what you are going through, not just because it is my job, but because I have gone through it with my own pet...

BIG BIG hug!!!!!

-Paula
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 5:19 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lynn, My heart is breaking for you and your family. Crying or Very sad Our family has also gone through this. It is painful and I am so sorry.
I'll keep you all in my prayers.

I do think that smoking did cause us to hide our feelings and emotions a lot of the time.


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jlf/Jeri



Quit Date:
November 12, 2003

Posts: 322
Location: Sacramento, CA

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 5:35 PM    Post subject: I'm so sorry Lynn Reply with quote

Lynn,

I am so sorry and I do understand how you feel. Several year ago we had to put our beloved rotweiler, Allie to sleep and it haunts me still. I loved her so. She was my husband's dog and he couldn't bear to be in the room when she passed on so I stayed with her. She laid her head in my lap and I was there for her, I talked to her and I stroked her head and played with her ears until she was gone. Yes, it was one of the hardest things I had to do, but if need be I'd do it again. She was a part of our family and I couldn't let her go alone. She's a peace now, running and jumping in dog heaven (if there is such a thing) and she's no longer in pain. And yes, I still cry for her and I miss her terribly but we do the best we can do at the time. And I know we loved her the best we could for her entire life. So cry now, cry all you want, let all the sorrow envelope you and release those tears! I think crying is therapeutic.

I wish I knew something to say that would ease your pain. I don't know the words. But cherish your memories and love that dog silly! I still feel Allie's presence sometimes and I still love that dog!

You and your family and your animals will be in my thoughts and in my prayers.

Jeri
Five months, one week, three days, 16 hours, 34 minutes and 33 seconds. 4880 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,022.25. Life saved: 2 weeks, 2 days, 22 hours, 40 minutes.
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jahunta



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Posts: 1129
Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 6:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lynn,

My heart is so with you. I read Pam's post. That sounds like it would be a real peaceful way to do it. Your husband is right. A dog is not a human, but I'll be damned if I don't love my cats more than quite a few humans I know. I hope your pain ends quickly.

J
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lbuz



Quit Date:
May 29, 2007

Posts: 254
Location: New York

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 7:50 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am truly sorry Lynn, I have a Golden Retriever her name is Molly too and getting up in years, I think about it all the time. I know it is hard right now, but you will know in your heart when the time is right and she will know too. Unfortunately it doesn't make it any easier on us humans knowing that we are doing the best thing that we can only because we love them so much. I wish you well, and Molly too.
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Marvel



Quit Date:
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Posts: 297
Location: Tennessee

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 11:02 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm so sorry Lynn. All of our dogs have been black labs and I know you love Molly a bunch because she's a wonderful girl. Maybe if you could spend some special time with her between now and the day she has to go, you'll have some extra nice memories. Hold her and hug her and be strong. I know she's had a wonderful life with you and your family. I'm sending you warm wishes for peace and comfort.
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 11:16 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lynn

I know exactly how you feel my grandmother had to have our dog put down just after granddad died and I hated her then for it. I t broke my heart to loose my faithful companion of 14 years. He also went through my mother and uncle too course they were older when gran got him but I am sure they loved him too. He use to sit with his head between the bars of my crib they have pics of this. But anyway I am crying for you. I seem t be doing an awful lot of that since I quit. But this sobbing is for you and your loved ones especially for Dear Molly.

My mother sent this to me awhile ago and I thought maybe it would comfort you a little.



Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown....


I hope this brings you some comfort.


One week, five days, 12 hours, 14 minutes and 40 seconds. 500 cigarettes not smoked, saving $86.32. Life saved: 1 day, 17 hours, 40 minutes.
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Kissimee



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Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: April 23, 2004 11:52 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lynn,
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this awful pain. I wish I could say those magic words to make everything better but know I'm in Missouri sending you a big hug and praying for you and your family. There is a reason we have pets and then they become a part of the family. I hope your heart string heal quickly and when you get a chance...Pat yourself on the back for staying strong and Nicotine Free!

In my thoughts always
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Carol



Quit Date:
December 9, 2009

Posts: 631
Location: Wisconsin

PostPosted: April 24, 2004 12:31 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am so sorry. The loss of a loved one is so very very difficult. And yes Molly is a loved one. Cry all you need to cry, and if your children know what is going to happen explain to them that you are sad about Molly. What a wonderful way of teaching them to openly express their feelings. Crying over the loss of a loved one is never something to be embarrassed about, because it is an expression of the depth of our love for them.
Take care. My heart is bleeding for you and your family.
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Zuzu



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Posts: 962
Location: Marin

PostPosted: April 24, 2004 1:45 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lynn-

Is that Molly.. your avatar? She's so beautiful. And she's young.. only 8??

I'm sorry Lynn. My breath gets short when I think of anything bad happening to my Secret Agent Dog. It's heart breaking. I don't know what to say.

In your shoes I would be inconsolable.

I wish Molly a peaceful journey and as she passes onto the otherside I hope she finds herself in the midst of a duck pond, the shores littered with her favorite toys and perhaps an errant jack rabbit for some chasing.

I wish you time with your beautiful good girl, to say goodbye, to grieve and to let go and to never truly let go.

I am thinking of you. I am grieving for your loss - I cannot fathom the pain and I am so, so sorry that you must endure this. Please know that you are not alone.

-Zuzu
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