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reposting of I need advice

 
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: April 24, 2004 9:57 AM    Post subject: reposting of I need advice Reply with quote

This is actually to all of you but is addressed to the last ones who responded in the last po
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Zuzu, Pam, Jauhnta

No one can creat a perfect world except god and it him I put my faith in. The one person in this world I have considered my mother gave me so much that I will never ever be able to repay her and that was my grandmother. She took a troubled frightened little girl into her home and raise her as her own. She and my grandfather adopted me and gave me their name. They loved me they gave up so very much of their lives for me. All because they loved me. To me they were my real parents. the only reason I even talk to my mother is to please my grandmother. There is nothing in this world I would not do for that lady. I owe her so much more then anyone can ever imagine. I owe her mylife. And I gave her a gift of love the other day. I called and told her I had quit smoking forever. She was so happy and proud of me. Now there will no going back for me. Becasue if she were to die tommorrow I know she would be looking down and see what I am doing and if I were to smoke she would be so displeased.

My mother on the other hand. Well there were times when I was just as happy not talking to her the first time was after she told me I had toprove to her that I was her daughter Bull pockey she knows she gave birth to me so what do I have to prove. She also "threw" me away to gran so in my book it is she that needs to prove something to me. Not the other way around. Anyway that time I did not talk to her for 6 years but she called one day and said my real dad wanted to talk to me ok so I called him and then my mother and I started talking. And let me tell you what If i had know then what I know now that would never of happened

The 2nd timewas after my real foather came up here to see me the first time in 40 years. It took that long for him to get the courage or was it that he had something to prove?????? Anyway he and my mother carried on in my mother and step dad's house live love sick teenagers. I told both of them what I thought of their behavior and that tdad and Carleene knew what was going on and I also told mymother that gran had told me the truth about why gran got me and adopeted me and daddy had confirmed the story and they had not talked in oh about 20 years. So I knew my mother's version was bull and grans was the truth.

My mother flew off the handle called me almost everything but white called gran awful names. Now this is my mothers mother and is 93 years old I do beleive she has earned some respect and in my book alot more than just some. Anyway this time my mother did not speak to me for 3 years and I have no idea why she suddenly decided to talk to me.

The dad died and I am a dutiful daughter I dropped everything including my job at that point and went to help her out. Of course she wa also mad at my sis ter for a fight they had and they had not talked for 4 years. My sister said that she regreted that as she did not get to say goodbye to dad. My mother made me call my sister and ask her if she was going to behave at the funeral. How embarrassing. And how degrading.

So perhaps you can all see I will have absolutely no problem cutting my mother off at the knees when gran dies. I plan on having nothing to do with her at all and as for my daughter I plan on limiting her exposure to my mother.

Anyhway I guess I better stop rambling on and say what I really intended to say which was thank you for caring so much for me.
sting






I did this for those of you who cared enough about me to post and for those who just read too. Yes my mother is still at it and I am debating as to answer or ignore and if I answer what to say as she twists everything I say to suit her purpose. She so reminds me of my xhusband it is rediculious. Love no I do not not her. The one I love is 93 and the most important person to me. She and grandfather gave up so much for me and I will never be able to repay that love and kindness. And they did it out of more than a sense of duty they did it from the heart which is something my mother will never never have or understand. She( my mother) is a cruel and manipulative kind of person not that there isn't alot of those kind of people out there. My sister is still so cowed by mom she is afraid to say anythng. My sister has also become an abuser. I am so sorry for her and have gave her my phone number and my cell phone number told her to call me first before she gets to that point. Hopefully she does but I can't force her to do so and I will NOT call ps to handle the situationI know all to well what it is like to have those B......tds interfer with you life. And I know that alot of people think they are good but I also know if you do the research on them you will find that they aren't

Anyway getting off the beaten path. I want to thank each and every one of you who responded to my post and to those who read it and learned something from it. God speed to all of you.

One week, five days, 22 hours, 57 minutes and 33 seconds. 518 cigarettes not smoked, saving $89.40. Life saved: 1 day, 19 hours, 10 minutes.
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: April 24, 2004 10:25 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona, you are a very brave person to let so much of your heart show in such a very public place. By posting your feelings, you are learning to deal with your life stress/problems/deep emotions....without having a cigarette.

I'm sure that your granny is very, very proud of you, along with your son and daughter....I know I am. You keep that quit going girl, and post whenever you need to!
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Suzanne



Quit Date:
March 28, 2003

Posts: 27
Location: Wichita, Kansas, USA

PostPosted: April 26, 2004 6:08 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just to encourage you... Not all women are born with maternal desires or abilities. Some just don't have "it" I guess. If we ain't got it, we can't give it. The Lord has led me to so many women, though, who have nurtured me and mothered me when my own mother just couldn't be there for me. I wouldn't trade those ladies for anything.

I've had all kinds of ups and downs and round and rounds with my own mother/daughter issues, though, and REALLY felt it bad when I quit smoking. When we smoke, we don't feel our emotions quite as much. Nicotine is a drug and makes us temporarily feel better. Remember what it felt like not smoking for a few hours then the light-headed feeling of smoking again? It's a high, oh yes. So now we're quit and just FEELING all this stuff we're not used to feeling quite so sharp. You sound to me like you're right where you're supposed to be in your quit. It's wonderful that you have such a high priority on your quit, too. We can't keep it without making it a top priority. Way to go!
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Suzanne H.
over 1 year breathin' easy

The urge will pass whether you smoke or not!
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