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tsjay49
Quit Date: January 1, 2004
Posts: 1863 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: December 5, 2004 8:18 PM Post subject: My turn! |
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It's the Old Tomster's turn to have some Optical-Rectalitis.
I'm supposed to be the life of the party, always cheering someone up. Well, no one asked me to do that, I just took it upon myself. And, most of the time, I am very happy to be in that mode. Now, though, I am depressed.
I'm supposed to be rock solid in my quit. It has been nearly a year, and I am supposed to be nothing but a source of encouragement to the newbies. Once again, no one asked me to fill that role. It's just kinda naturally expected of long time quitters to be positive about their quits and to be a source of inspiration to those just beginning the journey to freedom. Role models, in other words.
Well, Peeps, the old Tomster does NOT feel one bit better physically since quitting. I have put on right at 20 lbs now, and I am a LARD ASS! I tip the scales at 249 lbs now!!!!!!!!
I am trying to be very optimistic about my sleep apnea, but look what I have to get used to wearing every night and still be able to sleep!
My emotional thinking tells me to go get some cigs and forget this whole business of quitting smoking. It says that it has done me no good to quit, that I actually feel WORSE with all the extra weight, and that I am probably not even sleeping as well because of all the weight.
My logical thinking says that I might not shed the weight, even if I start smoking again. My logical thinking reminds me that I was not sleeping well even before I quit smoking. My logical thinking reminds me that I didn't really enjoy smoking and only smoked to satisfy the urge, which would come back in half an hour like clockwork.
Don't panic, Quit Buds, cause I am pretty sure logic will prevail over emotion, but I DID need to rant.
Tom
I have been quit for 11 Months, 3 Days, 19 hours and 47 minutes (339 days). I have saved $1,274.33 by not smoking 10,194 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Month, 4 Days, 9 hours and 30 minutes of my life. _________________
If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? |
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Cowgirl UP!
Quit Date: July 26, 2004
Posts: 5029 Location: Ala
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Posted: December 5, 2004 10:13 PM Post subject: |
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Tom,
I think there is something going around....you will get better....not great right off but better...btw...love the mask....goes well with the cold cream don't you think?
You are not expected to do or be anything but Tom....it is just the nature of Tom to be helpful, supportive and caring and we all appreciate it....really we do. If you are down, you must promise to post where others will have the chance to repay some of this kindness...you will be surprised at how well they do.
The weight is a nasty side effect of quitting and it is getting on my nerves also....I am too short to carry much additional weight and it is getting harder to keep up the good attitude when nothing fits...right????
I hope by the time you read this post you are feeling better....we need you too!
Kay _________________
All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP |
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bigdaddyscds
Quit Date: May 13, 2004
Posts: 562 Location: San Angelo, Texas USA
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Posted: December 6, 2004 12:09 AM Post subject: |
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Tom, I agree with Kay. You have never posted because that is what is expected but have always posted because that is who you are. No one has put demands on you or your outlook, and you are the only person who can do that. I know this mask has to be a pain but if you can get used to it, it could improve your whole outlook on everything. I now that patience runs thin with every single one of us here because of what we are all sharing here but we are all here because together we seem to be better at beating it than alone. Know that you are loved by many here but that comes with no expectations just hopes and well wishes. I know that logic will win over emotion and I am glad for it.
Your pal,
John _________________
All things are difficult before they are easy.
Thomas Fuller , M.D. |
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mtwilsonranch
Quit Date: January 20, 2006
Posts: 1863 Location: nevada
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Posted: December 6, 2004 12:26 AM Post subject: |
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Tom. I like your logic, it is the art of convincing us of some truths...... that is the gift that you have.....You are a natural. I have not been here long, but you have been there to give a hand when needed......... you are a natural.....
Now, I can understand your concern about the weight, I too am battleing the buldge.......
As I said , I have not been here long, but from your posts, you are a person who wants to help. You are much needed and appreciated by us who are just learning to walk.
At least the Mask matches your eyes,,,,
Your friend,
Pam
21 days ,35 min free of nicotine and healing _________________
Right Now, this minute, this hour, this day, I choose not to feed my addiction.... |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: December 6, 2004 12:28 AM Post subject: |
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that does not look comfortable, Tom. i wish i could tell you that - once you reach that first anniversary (or any other milestone) - you'll be magically transformed into a happy ex-smoker, but i can't; i don't when - or even if - you'll become a happy ex-smoker. nobody can know that for sure. but i can pretty much guarantee this: go back to feeding the beast, and you will be miserable.
so, you have to ask yourself (your logical self, anyway): would you rather keep the momentum going on a quit that's nearly a year old for the possible (and i think likely, but as i said, i don't know for sure) pay-off of becoming a happy ex-smoker, or throw it away for the almost certain pay-off of being miserable?
i hope logic wins out here. hang in there, buddy; it's almost certain to get better, as long as you... _________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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Melody
Quit Date: August 19, 2004
Posts: 1103 Location: Ontario
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Posted: December 6, 2004 7:17 AM Post subject: |
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Tom I'm sorry I missed your post last night but with some luck you've had some sleep since then. Just so you make sure to also add the good points have you noted that you have no wrinkles. Could be because you are no longer scrunching up your face for a cig or it could be the extra weight. Another good thing is if you tend to be gassy you will only get the eye burn not the smell. Just so you have the facts in front of you I'm going to have to point out the years you abused your body with cigs can not nor will not all disappear in a day. Exercise will help kick start your metabolism. Plus you should be some thankful they invented Velcro can you imagine if you had to buckle on that contraption??? Last but not least how do expect to get the cig in your mouth when you have the Hannibal the Cannibal mask on. ?????????
Do not wimper do not whine
All in time you will be fine.
_________________
I'm a NON-SMOKER thanks to everyone here |
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tsjay49
Quit Date: January 1, 2004
Posts: 1863 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: December 6, 2004 8:32 AM Post subject: |
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Good morning, my friends.
Last night was my third night with the mask, and it was not as much of a pain as it was the night before, which was not as bad as the first night. So, it looks like I AM starting to get used to that thing already. I sure feel like I got better sleep! It seems that although I am still awake part of the night, I am getting much better sleep during the times that I AM actually asleep.
Thanks to all of you for responding to my rant.
I don't see how I could really go back to smoking. I have learned too much to ever be happy as a smoker again. I don't want to sit here and say it COULDN'T happen, but the odds are 10:1 or better in favor of my Quit.
You guys that can actually FEEL the benefits of not smoking, DON'T YOU DARE EVER GO BACK TO SMOKING! It must be nice to go through all those terrible times of withdrawal and then be able to reap the benefits in terms of better sleep, more energy, etc. Maybe someday I will experience those things too, but even if I don't, I am ahead of the game health-wise, money-wise, and addiction-wise (I no longer am tormented when I have to go long periods in smoke-free environments.).
People, GET EDUCATED! That's all that has kept me going when I get down. I know enough about the addiction to keep me from going back to it, no matter what.
One really important thing I have learned is that I did NOT enjoy smoking! I "enjoyed" the relief a cigarette gave me from the craving I was going through. That's NOT the same thing as "enjoying" a cigarette. It would be like saying you enjoyed having poison ivy, because it felt so good to scratch that itch. Well, if you didn't have poison ivy, you wouldn't have the itch to begin with, and if you didn't smoke, you wouldn't have that urge that needs to be satisfied!
I'm getting off of my soap box now.
I do sincerely thank you guys for your replies.
Tom _________________
If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? |
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kannprint
Quit Date: April 10, 2004
Posts: 4988 Location: St. Louis, MO
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Posted: December 6, 2004 7:20 PM Post subject: |
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Tom,
As uncomfortable as the mask is, it sure beats dragging an oxygen tank behind you 24/7. Just a thought ~ DON'T SMOKE! _________________
LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo |
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Kerry
Quit Date: May 4, 2004
Posts: 862 Location: Illinois
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Posted: December 6, 2004 11:26 PM Post subject: |
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Hey Tom, I'm sorry I missed this post. You know, I really understand where you're coming from 'cause to tell you the truth I feel the same way. It's been 7 months for me and not a day goes by when I don't think of it at some time. But I've heard that when someone dies that you love, you never stop thinking about them. I haven't experienced a death like that. But I'm assuming that psychologically I am going thru that. I don't want to smoke again, I know I won't smoke again, but I still miss it. But the thing is, if I smoke now, I'll never know if it would have gotten better. Maybe I'll hit a year, or two, or three and still miss it terribly. But what what if year four is different? Or year five or six? If I start smoking again I'll miss that epiphany. And who knows, maybe it won't take that long. Maybe that epiphany for you and I will come next week. But the bottom line is that in order to enjoy that time we really need to stay the course. Keep pluggin' Tom. Kerry |
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Melody
Quit Date: August 19, 2004
Posts: 1103 Location: Ontario
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Posted: December 7, 2004 10:24 AM Post subject: |
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Tom I hope you slept well so you will think more favorably of my apology. You can feel bad any time you want it's my problem if I grouped you in the cheery group not yours. I'll try to keep my claws in my mittens once again but as most have likely noted by now I tend to snap once in awhile and God help the one who got in my line of vision. Soooooooo Sorrrrrrrrrry Tom. _________________
I'm a NON-SMOKER thanks to everyone here |
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Pamela
Quit Date: -
Posts: 3542 Location: Gardiner, NY
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Posted: December 7, 2004 10:31 AM Post subject: |
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Nice photo, Tom. But what mask? _________________
FIVE + years of freedom and loving it! |
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tsjay49
Quit Date: January 1, 2004
Posts: 1863 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: December 7, 2004 11:15 AM Post subject: |
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Melody:
No problem. You're a good Quit Buddy. You just thought I was having a pity party and needed a little kick in the butt. You were at least partially right, you know.
Pamela:
The mask is for my sleep apnea. People with sleep apnea stop breathing many, many times per night, and it wakes us up enough that we resume breathing. Most of the time we don't wake up completely enough to remember having been awake the next morning, but we sure know that we have not gotten enough of the proper kind of sleep!
The mask is hooked up to a CPAP (Consistent Positive Airway Pressure) machine, which forces air into the nose during sleep. This keeps our airways open. Often, it's just our personal anatomy that makes us have sleep apnea. We have smaller airways than most people because of the structure of our pallet and throat, and when our muscles are relaxed as we get into deep sleep, the airway closes. This wakes us up and keeps us from staying in the deep sleep long enough to get proper rest.
Tom _________________
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