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Leona
Quit Date: June 1, 2017
Posts: 1838 Location: Alpena, Michigan
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Posted: December 6, 2004 7:30 PM Post subject: Me Next |
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Hi all,
I know I have not been on here much but I have thought about everyone frequently. No more so then as of late. I have been feeling rather out of the world these days and someone suggested that it was because of empty nest syndrome. Well yes that is part of it. I am seeing my own mortality. But it is also because of what has been going on here. I feel so angry and lost and alone and lonely
I keep going with the same old crap only now I feel like my fiancee is taking sides against me and that is not suppose to be happening. I was always led to beleive by the bible that he was suppose to leave his mother for me. Anyway it seems as if we only know how to fight these days and as for trying to talk that is the biggest joke that ever was.
Every time I tell him how I feel he comes up with Some way of making madder like looking off into space or walking off and ignoring the problem. I want to cry I want to scream and I want to throw things at him and the world but mostly I want a cigarette. Even knowing what I know I want it.
Also My son's girlfriend annouced at thanksgiving that they would be getting marrie din the spring. Her medical (from social services) runs out then and they want her on his medical at work. I feel like she is using him and she also is very nasty about not thinking before she says somehting. we brought a guest to thanksgiving dinner ( with theri permission) and she told him a partial quote" you have a lot to talk about Baldy" This was a young man that is interested in my daughter and that I have know for years butdid not realize this until he told me who his parents were and that had been abused by said parents. We were trying to give him some peace of mind at least for a day and then she goes and does this. I would of said something but didn't because I promised my son beforehand not to say anything about anything I did not like.
I did appologize to the young man afterwards and he said it did not matter he was use to it (how can anyone get use to that kind of abuse is beyond me) I still do not feel like I dare say anything to my son about this. It was just plain rude.
To top all of this off I was told my grandmother will not be with us long.
Lord what a year this has been. I will be so glad to have it over.
Oh yeah HEY Tom I will look like you after the 8th of december. I to have to go for the dreaded sleep test. Can we be martians together? Or should I say bllimpy martians I have gained 80 pounds since I quit and I can barely walk it hurts so bad to carry this weight. I have never weighed this much in my life.
And I am so self concious about exercise. In our place there is absoluely no privacy except in our minds. I wanted to join a gym but my fiancee so kindly points out we don't have the money. ( I did but because of his big production about "we don't have the money" I used it for something we needed)
I know I know all I ever do is come on here and complain . Sorry I do try to think positive but lately it has been really hard.
Seven months, three weeks, four days, 8 hours, 30 minutes and 44 seconds. 9574 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,034.86. Life saved: 4 weeks, 5 days, 5 hours, 50 minutes. _________________
Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age. |
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tsjay49
Quit Date: January 1, 2004
Posts: 1863 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: December 6, 2004 7:39 PM Post subject: |
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Leona:
Yep, definitely OPTICAL-RECTALITIS!
Hey, like me, you really have no options. We CAN'T go back to smoking. That would NOT make anything better.
It's almost sad, but there really is no going back, you know. I mean, yeah, you COULD smoke again, but you will never feel the same about it any more. You would probably just try to get a new quit going.
Tom _________________
If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? |
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Melody
Quit Date: August 19, 2004
Posts: 1103 Location: Ontario
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Posted: December 6, 2004 8:18 PM Post subject: |
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Tom you are starting to tick me off. Why would one want to go back. You are feeling sorry for yourself because of the mask well get over it it's not all about you. You are alive you go 4 wheeling you are otherwise healthy and you have Ross Allen, also that adorable cherub of a granddaughter. Answer me this what more do you want from life I'm not trying by the way to hurt your feelings but come on you are one of my bread crumbs so get your act together. PLEEEEEAAAASE _________________
I'm a NON-SMOKER thanks to everyone here |
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tsjay49
Quit Date: January 1, 2004
Posts: 1863 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: December 6, 2004 8:31 PM Post subject: |
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Melody:
Feeling good would be nice. That ain't askin' too much, is it?
No, I don't want to go back, or I already would have done so. I just want to start feeling better!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought I would feel better after getting off the cigs.
Tom _________________
If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? |
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Melody
Quit Date: August 19, 2004
Posts: 1103 Location: Ontario
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Posted: December 6, 2004 8:42 PM Post subject: |
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Tom you are 100% right it is not to much to ask. Now get out there and work for it. You have come this far so go the extra mile and get yourself in tip top shape. By the way you are not old so it is 100% possible and you seem to have all the toys so it is more option than affordability so I guess the next call is yours. Ross Allen said he is in so what about YOU?????? _________________
I'm a NON-SMOKER thanks to everyone here |
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tsjay49
Quit Date: January 1, 2004
Posts: 1863 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: December 6, 2004 9:05 PM Post subject: |
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Well, to have to "do" something to feel good is new to me. I have never had to do that before.
Guess getting old means making some changes, like starting to exercise.
Leona, sorry, Gal. This is YOUR rant, so we should be trying to help YOU.
Are you feeling any better?
Come on, Quit Buds, let's get some help for Leona going here.
Tom _________________
If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? |
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kannprint
Quit Date: April 10, 2004
Posts: 4988 Location: St. Louis, MO
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Posted: December 6, 2004 9:44 PM Post subject: |
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Dear Leona,
I'm so sorry everything is so off kilter in your life right now. Seems that everything hits at the same time, making us believe there will never be a happy day again. That just isn't true.
Leona, there will be good times. I can't see into the future so don't know when, why or how but your life will straighten out somehow.
The big message, though, is that no matter what the problem (or problems), smoking certainly isn't going to make things better.
Hang in there, friend. Life is beautiful! _________________
LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo |
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Cowgirl UP!
Quit Date: July 26, 2004
Posts: 5029 Location: Ala
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Posted: December 7, 2004 12:31 AM Post subject: |
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I am sorry you are having it rough Leona but I was also concerned as to whether I was going to have to wrap these lizard thighs around TOM or Melody there for a moment....you just stay with your quit...you are doing fine as for the two above, who knows _________________
All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP |
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Melody
Quit Date: August 19, 2004
Posts: 1103 Location: Ontario
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Posted: December 7, 2004 10:10 AM Post subject: |
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Sorry Leona Tom is right it was your turn It was a rant of all rants but it's a case of so much going on it's hard to pick a corner to start on. I hope you are feeling better today and all goes well. _________________
I'm a NON-SMOKER thanks to everyone here |
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Pamela
Quit Date: -
Posts: 3542 Location: Gardiner, NY
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Posted: December 7, 2004 10:28 AM Post subject: |
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Leona, you are one of the strongest willed people I know, and if you are determined to do something, I know you will do it.
So, if the weight is really really bothering you.....you can take some of it off without joining fancy exercise spas (how many of us do that and then never go?) or diets. Walking is a great way to get those muscles moving and get some good aerobic exercise......and for me, it's a mini escape, and time for me to think. While I'm walking, I just let my thoughts go whereever they want to ....kind of like a waking dream stage.....and it always seems to help the thinking process and outlood on things in general. And as far as diets go, I think there is only one good rule of thumb. Fat on our body is caused by too much food going into our mouths....plain and simple. Every time you put food in your mouth, first ask yourself...do I really want this? Am I really hungary?
Wanting to smoke is what you THINK you want...because you want to feel better. Try to remember back to before you quit, and really be honest with yourself about how you felt as a smoker. If it really made you feel so good, then why, oh why did you work so hard to quit? I think you are romanticising those smokes, trying to convince yourself that life was wonderful and like in the movies before you quit. Come on, be honest with yourself. Yes, you are having a really tough year, but what would be different if you smoked? And maybe you can't afford to join a gym (me either) but why would you think you can afford to go back to smoking?
You're going through a really bad patch. Don't let into your head and heart. Remember that your grandmother is so proud of you for quitting smoking....as are we all. You just keep staying quit, you hear? _________________
FIVE + years of freedom and loving it! |
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Leona
Quit Date: June 1, 2017
Posts: 1838 Location: Alpena, Michigan
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Posted: December 7, 2004 7:38 PM Post subject: |
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Thank you guys,
Yes I somewhat feel better today. Pam no I won't go back to smoking can't afford to any more than I can afford to join a gym right now. And I am trying to start a business. One I am sure we all have as women one time or another. AVON and if you want to order from me go to www.avon.com and put in when prompted for a phone number 9893792811 the sale will be credited to me and shipped to you and yes you have to have a credit card.
Anyway enough of that and me. Tom thank you for the wonderful support and yep we look like martians in those masks but hey a small price to pay for sleeping. Someithing I have not done in over 40 years. I would love to have one night of sleep without having to get up 50 times a night.
Kanprint thank you too. I am trying very hard to remember to be strong and not to whine so much. I am so sick of this year that I can't wait for it to go away and it to be 2005 and of course that would mean that I make it to the big table.
Cowgirl you are most welcome to wrap your lizard legs around anyone you need to to make them llisten LOL. I am having a horrible year and I will survive and I know I need to exercise but right now the only place to do that is in our house and that is a place I won't. I feel censored when I do by my fiancee's mother. She stares at me like I am from outerspace. I am self conscious enough withouth that. It has been raining and or snowing all week.
Pam you are as always a light for me to see with. Thank you for my conscious and my grounding. I know I need to exercise and will once I get up the oph to do so. Not to mention that it stops raining longenough for me to go out and do that. Course it won't be easy for me to do as we live half way up a hill and I am now 277 lbs and my back screams when I stand upright for more then 5 seconds. '
Melody and Tom you ar eboth forgiven for using my rant to yell at each other.
Seven months, three weeks, five days, 8 hours, 38 minutes and 8 seconds. 9614 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,043.41. Life saved: 4 weeks, 5 days, 9 hours, 10 minutes. _________________
Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age. |
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