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What the heck........
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Mindy



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1074

PostPosted: December 7, 2004 11:32 PM    Post subject: What the heck........ Reply with quote

I've been having a difficult time lately. To make a long story short I had an awful weekend and on Saturday I went to the gas station for a gallon of milk and came out with more than just the milk. I had bought a pack of cigarettes. No, I did not smoke. Yes, I wanted to smoke.
I find it hard to post about this sort of thing. I feel like I'm almost a year quit so I should be stronger than this. I'm only human like the rest of us. I was honest with myself and acknowledged my actions---buying that damn pack of cigarettes. I had to be honest with you all, who have supported me through thick and thin.
This just goes to show the power this addiction really has on us. It's all about choice. I made one bad choice Sat. night, but I made a good one for resisting the temptation to light up. I never even opened the pack. My money I spent on those smokes literally went down the toilet.

Thanks for listening.......
Hugs,
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mtwilsonranch



Quit Date:
January 20, 2006

Posts: 1863
Location: nevada

PostPosted: December 7, 2004 11:54 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mindy,
So glad that you did not smoke.....you choose life....My thoughts are with you...Hugs
Pam
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Right Now, this minute, this hour, this day, I choose not to feed my addiction....
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 12:31 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mindy:

Good for you for not opening those things!

I have done that same thing twice. Well, three times counting that time that I did actually take the three puffs. There have been two other times that I bought some and never opened them.

Sure glad you didn't blow your quit!!!

Tom
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 12:54 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

One puff away from a pack a day...sound familiar???? I am so proud of you for not opening those damn things and smoking...I would have just had a screamin' fit...yep you are human but you are the STRONG one...you keep kicking butt...yours and ours. Rolling Eyes Wink
Kay
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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 6:21 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mindy, I'm very proud of you for not lighting up. I have never actually gotten to the point of buying some, so I don't know for sure if I would have been as strong. I am even more sorry you are going through a rough time right now. We both know that smoking won't help whatever problems you are encountering. Know that my thoughts are with you and consider yourself hugged.
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Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
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Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 10:03 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

you don't have to apologize for being human, Mindy, and you don't have to apologize for being an addict, either; as far as i can tell, all the rest of us are both of those things, too.

and you're exactly right; this addiction has a powerful hold on all of us. that's the nature of being an addict. whether you've been quit for a day, or a week, or a month, or a year, you still have to choose whether or not you're going to feed your addiction today. because today is the only day we get.

you're also right that it's all about choice: you chose to buy a pack of smokes (for whatever "reason"), but then you chose to flush them.

i'd say you came out ahead; how often do we get such a valuable life lesson for 5 bucks?
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 10:05 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mindy,

I'm sure glad you took time to think before opening that pack of cigs. You know you don't want to smoke but old nicodemon is awfully powerful.

Thanks for sharing this post. It's helpful to those of us who aren't as far along in our quits as you are. Sort of lets us know that the temptation can still rear it's ugly head Rolling Eyes .
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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Chrissy



Quit Date:
April 21, 2007

Posts: 101
Location: ohio

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 10:23 AM    Post subject: its ok Reply with quote

I thought about buying a pack last week when angry but then thought I am 3 years and 4 months quit....why blow it and start the problems all over again. I love being able to breathe, run and not cough everyday. Life always temots us but we have to stay strong. You did GREAT!!!!! Big hugs and keep that quit!! In love and light, Chrissy~
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 10:28 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're a lot stronger than you know, being able to go that far in buying them, and then saying no. Get rid of them quick.

If it's any consolation, I've been having some stronger thoughts and cravings too, lately. I just keep chalking it up to "holidays".....and steeling myself for what might be a pretty stressful time to get through...the first Christmas as a non smoker in 34 years.

the family members I'll be seeing this Christmas were always cause of great stress and upset to me, and I've used this in the past as an excuse/justification to smoke.

Not this time. so, cut yourself some slack. This will be the first holiday time for you, too. Just know that you may be getting some extra smoking triggers coming up, and that you'll get past them just like all the others you've won over this past year. You've come this far, and it's not the time to let old Scowling Demon get to you.
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kjsblue



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 756
Location: Nebraska

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 10:49 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Mindy - great job not opening those things. I too have been there, rationally we know it isn't the right choice, or even the choice we WANT to make...that darn Scowling Demon is very powerful. But we don't let him take our power away when we refuse to go there! Smile

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. This time of year is supposed to be fun and joyful and all that, but you know I think more people have problems and stress because we have these notions of what the holidays are "SUPPOSED" to be...the pressure really is too much sometimes.

If there is anything I can do...like be a sounding board or something...just send me an email or private message.

Take care,
kris
Four months, 8 hours, 15 minutes and 36 seconds. 2446 cigarettes not smoked, saving $489.54. Life saved: 1 week, 1 day, 11 hours, 50 minutes.
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If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it -- William Arthur Ward

Q.D. August 8th, 2004
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 2:26 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is why we are here. We are all addicts and can come close to smoking anytime. The key word is choice. And you made the right one, in not smoking, and by posting. We will always be here for you. Just like you have always been there for us.

We need each other, in the ups and downs of this quit.

God Bless you girl!

Love, Londa
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 3:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Way to go Mindy. I've had to buy them quite a few times since I've QUIT but they weren't for me but siblings or neighbours. Have not been seriously tempted yet to smoke one but that could come some day. I like you will not look back. Proud of you by the way .
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Wanda



Quit Date:
March 15, 2004

Posts: 425
Location: Carlisle, PA

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 5:31 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

i've read this post several times today, one time i responded. i had it all typed out till it was perfect and then i deleted it. i can't explain it either.

anyway i want to respond but every time i read it, i get excited about the new pack of cigarettes. i can imagine pulling the little plastic string, tearing away the paper and knocking out that first cigarette. in the 8+ months that i've quit this has not happened before. i shutter thinking how it excites me.

mindy if you bought cigarettes with the intention to smoke and didn't, then you have a very strong quit in my mind. i'm not sure i would be so strong.

i understand where you're coming from though, cause my addict has been very loud lately. he knows he has my attention, but what he doesn't know is that i'm not going back!

remember you don't get to smoke just one, or even that one pack. you have to smoke them all, untill we die or we get brave enough to quit again.
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Wanda
Quit Date 03/15/04
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 7:20 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mindy as far as I'm concerned you're a star. To be able to buy a pack and then not smoke them is amazing. Especially considering your frame of mind. Maybe you were inadvertently testing youself. It looks like you passed with flying colors. Mindy it is hard and you don't have to apologize for that. We all struggle. I struggled on Saturday as well. I was at a party where I usually used to smoke. As long as we keep fighting this though, we should come out on top. You did. Kerry
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Mindy



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1074

PostPosted: December 8, 2004 8:31 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm nopt suure if it was Tom or someone else who kept the pack of cigarettes around for a period of time after they initially quit smoking. I know someone mentioned it and it was a controversial topic on here......Well, I must admit that I kept a full pack of cigarettes in my purse for the first 3 months of my quit. Finally one day, i just tossed them in the garbage. There were many times when I'd sneak in my basement and want to smoke one of those cigarettes. Wanda, I hear ya! I've thought of those same things also. Honestly I don't know how I've done it. There just come those times when the nasty addiction haunts us all I guess. Did I mention I had my oldest daughter in the car with me when I bought the cigs. I have this weird feeling if she hadn't been with me, I may have lit up. She's one of the last people I'd want to disappoint. She'd be so unhappy if I smoked.....even just that dreaded one puff.
Thanks everyone for neverending support.

Hugs,
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