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Mindy



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1074

PostPosted: December 11, 2004 12:57 PM    Post subject: Why?? Reply with quote

Lately life has just been getting the best of me and I wonder why the hell am I almost one year quit and still when I get pissed off or whatever, why is the first thing I think of is smoking a cigarette. I hate the holidays....if it weren't for my kids I wouldn't even have a tree up. I have to be in some sort of holiday spirit for them. This time of year is depressing and stressful for so many of us and I don't know how we deal with it sometimes. I'm sorry......just had to rant to someone before I do something stupid.
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: December 11, 2004 1:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Mindy,

You've got an awesome quit going and have been a great example for me to follow. We all get "down" at times, especially during the holidays. There are so many things to be done, so many places to be, so many people to satisfy. Our daughter is feeling exactly like you are now and she was never a smoker.

So, whatever the reason, accept this feeling as perfectly normal and try to walk away from it. Things will get better than they are right now.

Enjoy those precious children. They grow up and leave the nest far too soon.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: December 11, 2004 1:29 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mindy:

I don't enjoy Christmas either, and that is just a shame, isn't it? My wife has her version of what Christmas is, and it doesn't line up at all with mine.

If you are pretty much in control of what Christmas is at your house, then take charge and make it what YOU want it to be. Wish I could do that.

Do only what you think is necessary. If something is just a hassle, then don't do it just because you think you are "supposed to," or because it is a "tradition."

God gave us His Greatest Gift, and we should find this season to be joyous, not a hassle! We have certainly left the true meaning of Christmas somewhere far behind us, haven't we?

Tom
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: December 11, 2004 10:45 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mindy,

When you find the answer to your question, please let me know. Being pissed off is the biggest thing for me. So, the interest in this is extreme for me. Like Tom said, the true meaning of Christmas is being lost. It's suppose to be a time to reflect on Jesus and His birth. A time to joy in that. But, as with anything, it's turned into a "me get" celebration. I'm with you....the kids are what matter the most. Stress upon stress during this season, it just shouldn't be. But that's life. Crying or Very sad Mindy thanks for your posts when I went through my rant. You were very right in what you siad!!! (yes, I was listening....so you keep your quit...because YOU are strong)

Deb
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Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
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Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: December 11, 2004 11:20 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

have you ever taken the time to sit with your question and follow the answers - and other questions - that come up when you ask it?

what are the reasons that you allowed yourself to engage in such an obviously self-destructive behavior for so long?

how do those reasons relate to your current belief system that suggests that returning to that self-destructive behavior would be an appropriate resposne to stress and anger?

once you find answers to these questions - or to the other questions that willl surely occur to you while you're thinking about these - ask yourself if those reasons are valid any more (or if they ever were). if they're not (which they probably aren't), make a conscious effort to notice them whenever and wherever they pop up in your thinking; don't try not to think that way any more, just notice that you are thinking that way, remind yourself that you don't actually believe in those reasons any more, and then forget about it. eventually, those thoughts will stop occurring to you.
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Zuzu



Quit Date:
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Posts: 962
Location: Marin

PostPosted: December 11, 2004 11:54 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mindy-

What a GREAT question.. why is it that the first thing that you think of when you get pissed off, or whatever, is to smoke a cigarette... I mean.. really.. why is that? Okay.. you ponder that, the answer might not be so immediately apparent... maybe a much better question is, in the future, when you get pissed off, or whatever, what would you like to think about besides smoking a cigarette?

I decided, at some point, that when I get really pissed off, agro, angsty, the first thing I think about needs to be something other than smoking a cigarette - because you can probably give testament to the fact that thinking about smoking gets old, boring and aggravating when you no longer smoke.

So live with some intentionality - what are you going to think about instead? What's the first thing you want to think about next time. Write it down on a 3x5 card because it might not be second nature/habit to think about this new thing, do this new thing, act and react in this new way. You have to break a habit of thinking about smoking when you're agro - but don't just sit there and wait for something to fill in the void, try planting something, intentionally, in that fertile soil and cultivate it to grow.

So here's an idea... next time you're really pissed off, rather than thinking about smoking think about love, wisdom, courage and forgiveness - start making that your new knee jerk response to anger - just see what happens...

What I hear is that you're going through a bit of hell... and Winston Churchill once said, "If you're going through hell, keep going." So.. keep going....

Best to you,

Zuzu
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: December 12, 2004 11:11 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zuzu's advice is good!

"So here's an idea... next time you're really pissed off, rather than thinking about smoking think about love, wisdom, courage and forgiveness - start making that your new knee jerk response to anger - just see what happens... "

Love

Think about how you would love to wring the neck of that SOB who pissed you off!

Wisdom

Think about that wise guy that made you so mad!

Courage

Get up the courage to smack that person that pissed you off!

Forgiveness

Think about how you will NEVER forgive that SOB!

Smile

Tom
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: December 12, 2004 11:34 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

TOMTOMTOMTOMTOMTOMTOMTOMTOMTOMTOMTOMTOMTOMTOMTOM Laughing Laughing Laughing
This thread id a bit BAH HUMBUG so I'll leave it alone.
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Mindy



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1074

PostPosted: December 12, 2004 8:09 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks everyone for your unending support.
Kevin, I've pondered what you've said and after I really thought about it, I think a light bulb just went off in my head. My thinking needs to totally change and I'm working on that from this day forward. I've made it this far, so I'll keep moving forward. I'm smoke free for today.

ZuZu, it's so nice to see you back on the boards checking in. Very Happy

Seabrez--I know you can do this. You just need to dig deep into your resolve. I hate to toot my own horn, but I've endured so much crap the past year and I'm still smoke free. I won't go into detail, but sometimes I don't know how I've dealt with some of the stuff that's been thrown at me and kept from smoking. When the going gets rough, run like hell to the other side.

Tom--You make me laugh....... Laughing

Hugs to all,
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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: December 12, 2004 8:18 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Mindy, we have such high expectations at the holidays. It's no wonder it is so easy to end up disappointed. I am sorry you are having such a rough time of it. I hope it eases up for you soon. Celebrating for the kids is a good start. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to experience the holidays through the eyes of a child again? My thoughts are with you Ms. Mindy.
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Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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Mindy



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1074

PostPosted: December 12, 2004 8:21 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tonya,
Yes it would be so nice to be able to go back and celebrate the season as a child again! But I do enjoy seeing my children enjoy Christmas also.....

I agree with everyone who posted above that people do forget what Christmas is all about....We all need to remember the true meaning of this season! Smile
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mtwilsonranch



Quit Date:
January 20, 2006

Posts: 1863
Location: nevada

PostPosted: December 12, 2004 8:26 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks to all ..Mindy good question..I am new in this process of quiting. ZuZu your response helped me, Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy There is so much unlearning to do with this nicotine addiction......
Pam
27 days, 20 hrs., 55 min free of nicotine and healing
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Right Now, this minute, this hour, this day, I choose not to feed my addiction....
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: December 12, 2004 8:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mindy,

You can endure the holidays because you are a mother making memories for her children...you can endure the thoughts of smoking for the same reason...I know you are strong enough to resist and I also know you still have to ask "why" throughout a quit.

We have got to find other ways to react to our surroundings and the daily changes in our lives...we have to find a way that is calm, rational, mature and fair...this will also build great memories for our offspring....just my thoughts on this.
Kay
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All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: December 13, 2004 1:18 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am not depressed about the holidays. It is just they seem so commercialized.
I am with Tom on this one:
Quote:
God gave us His Greatest Gift, and we should find this season to be joyous, not a hassle! We have certainly left the true meaning of Christmas somewhere far behind us, haven't we


Wish we could all go back to a quieter simpler day.
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Tammy
Free and loving it!
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: December 14, 2004 8:24 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tis the season to be jolly
Fa la la la la la la la la

Silent Night
Holy Night
All Is Calm
All is bright

Round yon virgin
mother and child
Holy infant so
tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly PEACE.....
Sleep in heavenly PEACE......

This is what it is all about.

Mindy, may Jesus Bless you this Peaceful, loving season.

With much Love,

Londa
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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