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Today it's raining as the sun shines within my soul thankyou

 
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: January 3, 2005 12:22 PM    Post subject: Today it's raining as the sun shines within my soul thankyou Reply with quote

I walked into this New Year carrying all the burdens of the past. I added to this weight my fears of the days to come. I felt the pain and sorrow of those I love. Their fears and troubles I collected. I gathered the troubles of the earth and bit by bit, I placed them in my pockets.

I could no longer walk with such a heavy load. My heart could not beat in gladness. No smile crossed my lips as I found myself swallowed by the grief I surrounded myself with.

My mind gathered from the sands of time little fragments of all life's sorrow and I felt myself caught beneath the under current of my darkened thoughts.

Through this mist of sadness, I entered the Year in waiting.

How sad as I sit and reflect back on this.

I kept wondering how I was to continue my journey all alone swallowed by self-pity and loathing. I continued to tell myself I did not know how.

I extended a hand from the depth of despair and so many hearts reached back to help bring me back to the light. All day I fought the battle to stay afloat while so many angels prayed and gave me signs of hope.

My mind continued to taunt with fears of tomorrows, doubts if I was strong enough to continue this journey through life, if it was worth climbing the mountain of life just to continue to fall, get back up and walk on. Every heartbreak caused a stumble; every loss cast the shadow of doubt.

This morning when I woke I heard all the prayers and words that had reached my heart.

Piece by piece I removed the burdens I have no control of and handed them back to our Lord. They are best dealt with within his loving embrace. Nothing good could I do with all the weight.

My fears of what tomorrow might bring I handed back, the sadness of yesterdays I packaged up and placed them within the hand of the Ole Mighty. Nothing can undue the past, it was time to understand this with open heart.

I am just one person, a child of God. There are billions of us; we are all within his light, his care.

I may be a few days late walking into the New Year, but I am ready now. My burdens are few, only those that I have free will of and with a heart that is thankful for all the prayers.

When I feel resentment towards someone I feel has angered me, I will pray for them and remember all the wonderful people that took the time to walk with me for a day. I will harbor no more bitter thoughts towards anyone I feel might have brought me pain. I don't know what is relly within their hearts.

I am free to learn to smile again, laugh and trust in knowing God does have a plan for me, for all of us. The anticipation of having this reveled to me has my heart in song.

Thank you sincerely for caring enough to help me stand, and walk again. This I will never forget.

I love you all,
Sandyz
(I have also posted this on my on-line diary...I want others to know how many wonderful people there are in this world.)

It's a wonderful world we live in...I cannot forget this.

_________________

"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: January 3, 2005 12:49 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm glad you are going forward once again. You have just opened my eyes to a whole different way of thinking from mine when you said this ""I will harbor no more bitter thoughts towards anyone I feel might have brought me pain.""
I pray that you will learn to look at pain caused by others for what it is "your love of them" I'm not talking about the you hurt my feelings type of stuff but rather my heart feels like it has lead weights attached. That type of pain isn't given on purpose but rather through the pain they themselves suffer. This is at least my belief. So although my daughter has caused me great pain she does not own my pain I do. The pain is there because I love her and want her life to be all it could be and more. Bitterness is a wasted emotion and in the end chews away at your soul until you will suffer the same fate of not being all that you could be. Happy New Year Sandy from the bottom of my heart.
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Pamela



Quit Date:
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Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: January 3, 2005 1:07 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Happy, happy New Year, Sandy. If you see it as a new beginning, it will be so.
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FIVE + years of freedom and loving it!
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: January 3, 2005 1:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Happy Days Are here againg...
The skys above are clear again..


La la la la la la la la la

Happy Days Are here again.....

Love, Londa
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: January 3, 2005 1:37 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Melody, Pamela, londa,

It's a new day, a new year and I feel the song you are singing now. Very Happy

It's all going to be OK.

Melody,
Quote:
I pray that you will learn to look at pain caused by others for what it is "your love of them" I'm not talking about the you hurt my feelings type of stuff but rather my heart feels like it has lead weights attached. That type of pain isn't given on purpose but rather through the pain they themselves suffer.
That is some powerful insightful words. I will work on this. Thank you for sharing.

So much love to you all

Sandyz
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"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: January 3, 2005 9:29 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Sandy,

I know your life recently has been far less than care-free. Your plate has been far too full. However, after reading this beautiful post, I can see that you're now placing all the cares and concerns where they can be dealt with; in God's hands. Always remember: Let go and let God!
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: January 3, 2005 9:52 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

kannprint Thank you. I had so much wonderful advice and help making it through yesterday.

I recieved the call about my son last March...I have been hiding my emotions in a cave, (as Lynn described) His sentancing is Feb 13th...I had recieved his letter and read it that night at work.

I am guessing a little thing set the fire and I couldn't control it.

Thanks again for helping me remember..."let go and let God."

I pray HE will continue to help bring me through this. One day at a time.

Sandyz
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"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: January 3, 2005 10:40 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandy, I am so glad to hear the night has rekindered your spirit and you are entering the New Year with a smile.....I was told to think of a little dump truck sitting on my shoulder and when it became full to dump it out and keep walking....I am trying this and it has helped me so much....thank you Ms Tapestry for the great advice.

Life keeps throwing us lemons and we are making lemonade out the yaya but we are not smoking so we know we have came out the winners.....
My doctor asked me today if I was having any suicidal thoughts and I told him NO...only smokers had those...he got the humor in that and I hope you did too. God Bless Sandy, keep your chin up and your eyes open...it will get better...has to so we can make some more lemonade later on Laughing Laughing
Kay
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All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP
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Mindy



Quit Date:
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Posts: 1074

PostPosted: January 3, 2005 11:34 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandy,

I know there is light at the end of the tunnel for you. When life throws a curve ball at us, what really matters is how we respond. And your response has been by not smoking. I am so proud of you for that, and I hope you are as well.

Tomorrow is a new day, make it a sun shiny one! Wink

Hugs,
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: January 4, 2005 12:47 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Beautiful post Sandy. God bless you and Happy New Year! I myself was reminded today that the Joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is your strength too.
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Tammy
Free and loving it!
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: January 5, 2005 10:58 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy I'm glad you are doing better. I left my mom's condition in the Lord's hands and so far so good.

Blessings,
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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