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so many relapses lately!
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Hope



Quit Date:
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Posts: 346

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 4:22 AM    Post subject: so many relapses lately! Reply with quote

Sorry - I just noticed Pamela's mail which seems along teh same lines as this....
maybe i'm just in a bad mood today and am looking at things negatively, but i'm so bored of reading about people relapsing...people mentionin how hard things are, and how they slipped up..and people say "oh i'm sorry for you, good luck" Crying or Very sad ...what happened to our strong group??...come on guys! There's no excuses, just choices.



(oops, maybe i am in a bad mood!?! Laughing Demon )
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Hope
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Hope



Quit Date:
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Posts: 346

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 6:18 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

ok, that was perhaps a bit harsh...it's not newbie quitters tht i'm moaning at...it's people who have a few months under their non-smoking belts, it just drives me mad, it's such a shame. we can all beat this - it is not an impossible task. It just needs guts. and staying power. Good luck to everyone. Lets make this quit be THE one!!!!
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 8:46 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, some people are stronger than others. Some need a hand to hold more than others. Everyone has different needs. I find its not hard to quit, its hard to stay quit. And I think some people need to share their problems. Some may have a very bad day. Some are flying high and everything is great! We are to share the good with the bad.

Sometimes we can get into self pity, but our quit buddies knock that out of us quick. Because we don't want to dwell. We do need to see the positive of quitting. Thats why we come on site, so we can see the positive again.

Hope, I think all of us at sometime think of excuses. But down deep we know it is our choice to smoke or not to smoke!

Some people need to get things off their chest! I know from experience that I have to take one day at a time. For I quit for 5 years and then went back. Education is the key. Plus lots of support.

I don't know if I've made any sense. I'm not good with words.

But you have a wonderful day. I love to hear from you.
By the way, how is France?

God Bless

Love, Londa
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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Chrissy



Quit Date:
April 21, 2007

Posts: 101
Location: ohio

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 10:20 AM    Post subject: Its ok Reply with quote

Its ok to get angry and have those feelsings but just remember we have all been where others are. Our own Kevin (my quit bro ) had a long quit once and started again years ago before this quit. We are human and are bound to have bumps along lifes path and all we can do is never ever give up. Hope I pray you will find it in your heart to understand. <<---I know deep down you already do. I pray god keeps all of us safe and on the right path. In love and Light, Chrissy~
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 11:00 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

So far I haven't slipped but know that the possibility always exists for a relapse. It makes me sad when I read of my friends who have lost their quits but, on the other hand, it gives me more insight into what this smoking addiction is and just how strong nicodemon can be.

Please don't stop writing when you're having problems or if you've slipped up. That's what this sight is all about; helping others. And please be there for me in case I should falter.
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 11:16 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

kannprint wrote:
So far I haven't slipped but know that the possibility always exists for a relapse. .


I'd say if you are really QUIT than the chances of having a relapse are about as great as you going out and robbing a Convenience store. Life is all about choices and I choose not to rob the store today. What about you???? Sorry but it is as simple as you make it and the more power you give to the guy you all call Scowling Demon makes it harder. I don't believe in him at all (only my opinion not in any way fighting words). I believe in me and I refuse to give over any of my power to a cig. It can't light itself, it can't pick it's self up off the floor, it can't get itself out of the rain, it can't even put itself out. Think on that next time you seem to see that cig chasing you into a corner. My cig doesn't even have legs although I must admit it might roll at me if I was on a hill. Even if that happens once again it is not lit. Wink
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Hope



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PostPosted: January 6, 2005 11:19 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

i know, you're all right. i know you are.

And Melody - great way with words as always. I suppose I feel like you...it is all about choice. full stop.


But I suppose i just felt frustrated and annoyed on behalf of those who fell. Lets say I was trying to shake sense into to people...not picking on anyone. My support continues to be available at all times Laughing

Londa - right now France is beautiful, crisp and cols, but blue skied and I can see the snowy topped moutains from my window. Parfait!
Laughing Smile Very Happy Wink
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 11:30 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hope,
I understand your frustration truly I do but maybe it would help you to look at it another way? No one knows how hard it is to climb the mountain until they are at the BOTTOM looking up... some are stronger than others and it takes some more quits to stay quit than others but most of all, this is an imperfect world....We all know the bottom line is to never smoke again...we all know that to stay quit you have to choose not to smoke and we all know some days it rains and yet how many forget their umbrellas?

Maybe this does not make any sense but I think this group is still as strong as ever but seeing so many long time quitters have to start over, I think we have become more compassionate and careful about the words we may have to eat someday. Reality is the key here, cancer goes into remission but sometimes comes back...does that mean they quit the fight...NO..did they choose for it to return...No now of course choosing to smoke is different but for some it IS like a cancer...just my view those who know ME know I want everyone to keep their quit strong!
Wink
Kay
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Hope



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Posts: 346

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 11:36 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bad comparison if you ask me. To contract a disease is not a consious decision (unless we link smoking and cancer ofcourse...), to light a cigarette is.

lets not row here.

i'm compasionate, really I am, but it does come down to choice - it's not like contracting cancer.


And if it's about how strong we are...well, we can all do it - it's not impossible.

.... ok, right now i'm very worried about a family member, extremelly stressed at work where i'm bored to tears every day, and I've just been told I've got a disease that my Doc and a specialist don't understand what to do and i've got to go and see a specialist miles away, maybe have surgery, who knows. But I'm not going to smoke. I choose not to. However bad things are, I know smoking wont improve it - that's just a trick of the mind. And my problems are absolutely nothing to do with my quit.

Sorry guys, i do feel for any relapsers - I did ita few times before this, my final quit. I guess i'm just annoyed for you. No excuses, it was a bad choice to relapse.


I am compasionate honestly. But we all knew this wasn't going to be a walk in the parc.
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Last edited by Hope on January 6, 2005 11:44 AM; edited 2 times in total
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 11:40 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

We are all addicted to the number 1 addictive drug in the world. If we could make up our mind one day, say..."I'll never smoke again", and dont, there would not be a need for so many stop smoking sites or nicotine replacements.

The choice is ours everyday to feed our addictions or not. just like for people that are addicted to heroin, cocaine, alcohol, so many things.

It becomes a part of our life like putting on shoes everyday. If we run around bare foot for the first time, the pain might get them shoes back on to cover up our feet.

To me it seems so easy to say I will never smoke again, I am an addict and choose never to take another puff. I am also aware I am an addict, life happens, and one day if my guard is down I may reach for that smoke. For over 30 years, it was part of my life style.

I feel no anger for those that go back to feeding the demon. I do not feel their relapse is a scare for me. All it does beside brings me sorrow to the ones that relapse and help remind me…any thing can happen when the defenses are down.

I will never sit with my back to the door. If the demon tries to come in I want to confront it head on.

This is my longest quit ever...I pray I'll always be strong enough to fight the demon. I tried on and off for 20 years to quit. I remember when I had to get a prescription from my Dr for the gum. I really believe this is my final quit. Lords knows I had enough practice runs. I want to live. Now I understand this addiction and understand how to fight it. Choice, mine..

NEVER take another puff. We are so worth choosing life.

Sandy z
One year, two months, two weeks, 1 hour, 35 minutes and 43 seconds. 19847 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,709.50. Life saved: 9 weeks, 5 days, 21 hours, 55 minutes.
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Last edited by Fightn4life on January 6, 2005 12:09 PM; edited 2 times in total
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 11:45 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can not be harsh with people who relapse because that would make me a hypocrite. I am 42 and this is not my first quit, it's just my final quit. If I had quit only once maybe I would have room to talk, but I don't because I've quit many times. Maybe there are people in the same boat as I once was, I really can't say. What I can say is that I'm grateful for all of the people in the past who did not judge me because I lost my quit, but rather accepted the fact that I just wasn't ready - yet. It feels good to finally be ready. Kerry
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Hope



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PostPosted: January 6, 2005 11:52 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

think maybe i needed soemone to be harsh with me when i relapsed - i'm not being haorrid...got to be cruel to be kind Wink
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 11:59 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can never think of a good reason to be cruel.
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Marigrrl



Quit Date:
December 1, 2010

Posts: 894
Location: New York

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 12:28 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just skimmed through this post real quick so I may have missed some comments but I think i got the jist of it.

I believe everyones quit is different. yes it came be dissappointing to read about people slipping up but at the same time, thats why everyones quit is as unique as someones thumbprint as Kevin once said.

Everything we go through is a learning experience, and most times those slip ups are great learning experiences for making your quit even stronger than before. Some people are strong from the start,but we all share one thing in common with knowing that it isn't easy to quit. We are here to help each other, not just when things are going good and patting each other on the back but here to help when things fall apart too. Together we are strong, and continue being strong by being supportive.

Mariko
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: January 6, 2005 12:57 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I apologize if my post in any way sounded like I wanted to row or cause a rumble; or if it offended anyone with my cancer comparison...I just meant like cancer, the craves can be so intense and keep coming back over and over...the reason I used cancer as an example, is that my aunt was diagnosed 9 times with cancer and yes she was a smoker...certainly did not mean to imply that you made a conscious decision to get cancer like you do to smoke.....

I just don't understand how someone else handles their quit should matter to another in the first place...if your quit is so strong what difference does it make if someone is kind to someone who has relapsed? Why does anyone feel the need to be harsh...do you think it helps to make them feel any worse than they already do? Just how low do they have to go? It does not help my quit to hurt someone else while they are already down and out. I have never felt I was kind after being cruel.
Having said that, I shut my mouth as promised the last time this got started!
Wink
Kay
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