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My Apology was not Accepted

 
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: May 24, 2005 6:03 PM    Post subject: My Apology was not Accepted Reply with quote

Hi All,

I had words with my girlfriend a week ago that I had stayed with while I had separated from my husband. Today her daughter called and woke me up basically giving me heck and telling me all her mom has done for me in our friendship that I had a lot of nerve upsetting her. At 1st it started out with me telling my friend's daughter I believe I could have handled it better with her mom, I was sick with a cold though and did not feel well. I did not get upset with her daughter until I realized she was speaking in a mean spirited tone of voice to me and not nicely. I yelled at her, hung up on her, she called back, begged me not to hang up on her, and then she proceeds to continue to give me more hell. I have to admit some of the things I disagreed with her on was probably upsetting to her as she could only see her mom' side and her side. In the end her daughter told me I needed to apologize to her mom and then the conversation grew hot again before I told her I had nothing more to say to her and we hung up.

Well, after thinking about it some I called my girlfriend up and left word on her machine that I did not mean to upset her and for her to call me so we could discuss our troubles. I also told her only if she wanted to and that I was meaning to call her anyway when I had cooled down from last week's words with one another. I go all afternoon with no word except from her husband calling me saying he's coming over to give me the food I left at her house and to pick up the pocket books she gave me. When I asked him about the package I had delivered to their house he said none came in. When he got everything of my friend's stuff she gave to me though he said, "now that I think about it I think the package is in the car that you got in the mail." I told him to tell his wife, my girlfriend, that my feelings were hurt that she gets her daughter to call me and give me hell and then tells me to apologize and when I do, she just acts like she doesn't want to have anything to do with me.

Blessings,
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: May 24, 2005 10:58 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry Barb, but you apologized and now the ball is in her court...she can either call you and make mends or she can lose your friendship...it is her call now. Give it some time.
Kay
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All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: May 25, 2005 12:56 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Hi Kay,

Thank you for saying that. I cannot help but be angry some now though. I am not going to worry about it too much though. It may not be able to be fixed.

Blessings,
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: May 25, 2005 9:49 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

i hate to say it, barbara, but if it can't be fixed, maybe it's not worth fixing.

i recently "had words" with my sister and brother-in-law and said some things i really wished i hadn't. later, i apologized, and they were quick to forgive; my brother-in-law said basically that it was just a blip on the radar after 20 years of friendship. if your friend is not willing to forgive you for whatever you said (which i'm sure wasn't as bad as all that), then it's her loss. i also think it was very rude of her daughter to call you and tell you off like that; it's none of her business, and she should show some respect to her mother's friends.
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keep choosing life!

kevin

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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: May 25, 2005 12:10 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barb, some people chose to not be forgiving. I lost a friend. She got made at me, wrote me a nasty letter, I wrote back apologizing for all the saddnes I had caused. (to this day, I really don't understand what I did. She was getting paranoid, and thinking I didn't like her and stuff like that. I think it was something hormonal) SHe wrote back still nasty. I refuse to be abused anymore. SO I figure, if she dosn't want to be my friend anymore, then that is her choice. We were friends for over 30 years. It is sad it has turned out this way. I loved her like a sister. I am not one for fighting. Never have been. Took abuse all my life. Well, I am stopping that now. So when people don't forgive you, dosn't mean you can't still love them. I still care for my friend. I send her Christmas cards every year. She never responds. I pray that things are going well for her.

I am sorry things have worked out this way for you. Just give it time.

Love, Londa
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: May 25, 2005 10:38 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy I am feeling like Kevin said, "maybe if it can't be fixed, it isn't worth having."

Oh, I'm still upset but this is not the 1st time this friend has crossed the boundaries with our friendship. I want to surround myself with people with better character. It's like some people in my life like her does not seem willing to accept the new me who wants to stand up for myself. When I quit smoking, standing up for myself became new because I always smoked in the past to suppress whenever there ever was a possibility of conflict.

Blessings,
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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