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He didnt show up
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Imagen27



Quit Date:
July 12, 2005

Posts: 234
Location: Washington State

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 11:01 AM    Post subject: He didnt show up Reply with quote

He didnt show up for the parenting seminar last night.

I left work 30 minutes early to make it on time, and he wasnt even there.
He called me about 8:45 last night and said he forgot..

I dont know what I'm going to do.. I have to have the final papers filed by the 9th, and I have no idea when the next seminar will be offered.

The sad thing is, it costs $60.00 for us to attend.. He is supposed to pay for it.. It's times like this I wish I worked in Family law, rather than Personal Injury...

I dont know what I'm going to do....
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Imagen-29 (The ever so "flexible willow")
3 wonderful girls, 12, 10 and 3
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Athlete2Be



Quit Date:
August 8, 2005

Posts: 123
Location: Northern California

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 11:06 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. Hang tough and you will get through this.
(((HUGS)))
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Shannon
Athlete2Be
Freedom date: August 8, 2005
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 11:40 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ima,

Bummer!!! First find out when the next seminar is. If it's before the 9th, then hound and nag his butt to remind him to be there...Pick him up if you have to. Yeah, it's not right that he's not being responsible. But, if it's going to be done....just got to do it, even if it means grabbing him by the ear and dragging him there.

God be with you Girl.....and take some deep breaths!!!! Wink

Hugs
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Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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jahunta



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1129
Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 1:24 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whatever you do, you know what NOT to do, right??

Get yourself calm, figure out when the next one is, and settle whatever you need to settle with him. Don't lose it....

Nita
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QD: 2/15/04
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Imagen27



Quit Date:
July 12, 2005

Posts: 234
Location: Washington State

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 3:08 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

That son of a B*@$ch isnt good enough to take my quit away from me..

Just so you know... That just isnt an option.

~Im
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Imagen-29 (The ever so "flexible willow")
3 wonderful girls, 12, 10 and 3
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jahunta



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1129
Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 3:33 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good.
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
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Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 3:33 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

so your divorce proceedings are held hostage until he shows up for this thing? have you talked to your divorce attorney about that? it just doesn't seem right.
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Imagen27



Quit Date:
July 12, 2005

Posts: 234
Location: Washington State

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 3:42 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

thats the problem Kevin, it's a Pro Se dissolution, neither of us have representation. (I cant afford an attorney, he has mommy and daddy to foot his bill if needed) We have been civil about it up until now.

A few weeks ago, he had asked me what I would say if he told me he didnt want a Divorce. So I told him we had a lot to work on if that was the case.. He then proceeded to tell me our marriage went downhill because of me, which I will take the blame for some yes, but not all..

Anyway, long story short, he is pissed that I wont take the blame for everything, cower down and roll over to his demeaning way, and be the silent wife that he wants.. Just doesnt work that way..

I was told by the Clerks office that if I do my seminar, and he doesnt, the judge will order him in contempt for non-compliance... Either way, he has to do it... It may drag it out longer, but he would just delay the inevidable.

It's going to happen... I just have to keep on keepin on.. Just like my quit...

~Im
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Imagen-29 (The ever so "flexible willow")
3 wonderful girls, 12, 10 and 3


Last edited by Imagen27 on March 22, 2007 11:52 AM; edited 1 time in total
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 3:50 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is waiting it out all that bad.???? In the end you get your divorce it is inevitable. Keep the fight clean as the only ones who will get hurt now are the kids. Adults tend to work on pride at this time and their is no place for it when there are kids involved. Let the courts go after him. You can divorce the ex but always remember the kids are here because of both of you and all will do fine. Show respect to their Dad even if it near kills you. They will appreciate you more in the future. I've been there done that had fun. Wink
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jahunta



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1129
Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 4:56 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let him do all the suffering. You do what is required of you and take care of those girls. I'm with you in spirit, Imagen....

{{{hug}}}

Nita
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Imagen27



Quit Date:
July 12, 2005

Posts: 234
Location: Washington State

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 5:04 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trust me, as much as I'd like to stoop to his level and bad mouth him to the kids as he does me, I dont. I know better..

He doesnt even want anything to do with the older two, nor do they him, so he gets to run me down to our two year old and his Mother.

Believe me, as much as I'd like to, I dont... In the end, the girls will know who put all they had into it, and the respect wont go to him..
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3 wonderful girls, 12, 10 and 3
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Imagen27



Quit Date:
July 12, 2005

Posts: 234
Location: Washington State

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 5:08 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Melody"]Is waiting it out all that bad.???? quote]

We separated in April of '04, then in June of '04, we went back home as he swore he would change, then, of course, he went right back to his old ways, and we left for the last time in January of this year.

Waiting really isnt the issue, it's been over 7 months, I would just like to close this chapter in my life, so he has no 'control' over me anymore.

Thats all.
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Imagen-29 (The ever so "flexible willow")
3 wonderful girls, 12, 10 and 3


Last edited by Imagen27 on March 22, 2007 11:51 AM; edited 1 time in total
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Imagen27



Quit Date:
July 12, 2005

Posts: 234
Location: Washington State

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 5:11 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I cant even friggin spell... Between no nicotine for a month and this crap, my brain is fried...

"inevitable"

Sorry.
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Imagen-29 (The ever so "flexible willow")
3 wonderful girls, 12, 10 and 3
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Jill-dec1



Quit Date:
December 1, 2003

Posts: 101
Location: San Diego

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 9:02 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Im,

Hang tight. You can get through this day and tomorrow. Two months after my quit my husband died unexpectedly. I swore I would not let the stress, sadness or the situation stop my quit. Divorce, death and loss of job are some of the most stressful moments in life. I just reminded myself that people who never smoked have made it through these life changes and so can you. After all you don’t smoke anymore. Its just not an option.

Jill
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alison



Quit Date:
June 3, 2003

Posts: 751
Location: Next Stop, Michigan

PostPosted: August 17, 2005 6:45 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Divorce is difficult with or without children and infidelities and it never helps when the other person has chosen to cast you in the role of unreasonalble shrew who drove them away. My ex actually began his relationship with the women he eventually cheated on me with as a "smoking buddy". Since I quit smoking and he didn't he went found someone who smoked and attempted to drag her and her husband into my life. Much of the blame for the disintagration of the marriage was blamed on my quit so there was a lot of pressure to give up and give in to the demon.

The reality is marriages fail because of many reasons and it doesn't matter who is at fault. Non-smokers get divorced too. In the end you will prevail. You will never be completely free of him because you share a bond with him in the form of your children. Rest assured that with out your children he would still haunt you (as my ex haunts me even though we had no children) because you can not demiss so easily one that has touched you so deeply no matter how painful it eventually became.

Like smoking it will become less of a struggle. Some days will be better than others but you just need to remind yourself to take care of yourself first and foremost. Keep strong in your quit and if you can do that the rest will eventually fall into place. Take your divorce, like your quit, like your life, one day at a time.

Remember:

You can do this.

You are stronger than you think.

You will have good days and bad days just like normal people and smoking will not change that.

Did I mention that you can do this?

BTW Whatcha gonna do for YOU! One month is a big milestone don't let it slip by because of Bozo. Pack up the kids and go have a party.
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I wish you peace.

alison
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