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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: October 3, 2005 6:14 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gary, I agree with Zuzu all the way! This reminds me of something I learned in Sunday School. In Genesis, when Adam and Eve sinned, God banned them from the garden of Eden and punished them. Now here is the best part......God sewd them clothes to wear. I find that fascinating. His undconditional love. Here He made this beautiful, peaceful garden for them to live in and only told them not to eat from the tree of good and evil. So what do they do? Thats right, they did what they wanted. They paid the consequences for it, but GOD STILL LOVED THEM.

Now Jeanne has disappointed you. She is probably disappointed in herself also. But you will still like her unconditionaly. For she is still the same person. Paul said in the Bible, "Why do I do the things that I do not want to do?" We will always have battle with the flesh and spirit.

I think Jeanne will get back on the quit. She did it once, she'll do it again.

God Bless you Gary. Your going strong in your quit!

Love, Londa
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: October 3, 2005 6:39 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Beautifully and wonderfully said Londa! Very Happy

It is about unconditional love...remember kindness leads to repentence (change). Wink

Hugs
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Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: October 6, 2005 3:31 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Gary, I do understand you being puzzled when someone goes back to smoking after being free. All I can think of is we are addicts and the choice is ours to stay quit or return to the den of the demon.

I understand how hard it is for someone to fall after they have worked so hard to keep going, but it is a life lesson and they learn each time they fail.

I was a relapse queen before this quit, I lost count how many failed tries I had. Each time I learned more, each time I got back up and tried again. This time by the grace of God and support I have stayed steady, ok...a bit wobbly at times but still on my feet.

Don't feel sad for their lost quits, learn how fragile our quits are. Stay strong and be a constant reminder we if we choose to do so, we can stay in the saddle.

Your quit is awesome.

Sandyz
been free for 714 days!
Shocked
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: October 6, 2005 8:30 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gary it is not like that for all of us.I am free and yes I was an addict but I am an addict no more. No I will not go back and after the year of stress I've had I know stress would never do it. I'm just not a smoker anymore. My whole mindset has changed. It is harder most days to believe I ever smoked than to imagine an actual crave and to wish I smoked. Even putting that in print just sounded out of place as I really don't smoke. Walk away don't look back and it is a done deal.It is as easy or as hard as you make it. Quit means Quit. Wink
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: October 6, 2005 8:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seabrez wrote:
ggarrison19 wrote:
It is hard. I am sorry. I am tired of the fight. It has to end.


Gary,

Quit Bud!!!! God, I know it hurts...and it is sooo tiring to see it over and over again. I've been one, myself...over and over again. Fighting and learning, and overcoming, and wondering, and all the stuff that goes with the quit. It is hard!!



Hugs


Gary Deb is right there were times I was feeling like you are right now over Deb relapsing. Sorry Deb it was because I had grown fond of you and counted on you as part of my Quit. Kevin is right I needed to learn what he already knew my Quit was mine and yours was yours. Did I mention I'm so proud of you?Gary Deb is doing it now Laughing Laughing
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: October 6, 2005 8:37 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Melody, you put into words exactly how I feel. I'm sure it isn't this way for everyone but I honestly am a non-smoker and can't even believe I was ever anything other than that. Guess we're lucky to feel that way; it sure is easier than enduring cravings, etc.
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Jo
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Anne



Quit Date:
November 25, 2005

Posts: 93
Location: North Dakota

PostPosted: October 6, 2005 8:45 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gary--

I kind of remember you from like a year ago on the FFS message boards (I'm not a big poster, plus I BACKSLID after my time there)--

Anyhow, there is no doubt about it that it is frustrating. I had an uncle that passed away close to 2 years ago, his daughter quit for about 9months and then had started again when I saw her around last Thanksgiving. It was so disappointing--I had been so inspired by her. That's one very sad part. Plus it is hard (at least for me) to deal with or maintain a relationship with those who smoke--and especially in a situation like this where you built the relationship around NOT smoking.

At any rate, I agree with the others--you and she should work on feeling positive about what she did accomplish in quitting for so very long, especially for her--if she feels too negative about it then may only go further away from coming back. I myself hope to cross this particular line, and be one who does not drop out. You've come a long and awesome way to have quit for so long--

Anne
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: October 6, 2005 8:50 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

JO Sometimes it seems worse as my Quit buds are much like my kids and I want to do it for them. They are some lucky they are not here as I'd likely box their ears for even thinking of smokes. Why has it become a non issue for me and so much more to some. Question Don't you ever wonder about that??? Come on guys and gals it is a little white piece of paper rolled around some brown stuff. Sort of sounds like toilet paper hugging a turd. Suck that into your lungs and romanticize that. Wink
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: October 6, 2005 8:57 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm very fortunate in that none of our friends smoke. One couple from church smoked until about 6 months after I quit. They kept asking me how I did it, etc. Finally, while considering moving into a new home, they both decided to quit and, God bless them, they did. I saw them last Saturday and they're so happy about no longer smoking.

Maybe it's because I'm a senior citizen that none of our friends smoke; those who did have succumbed to illnesses or have quit. Thank God I fit into the latter category.

I can understand how annoyed you become with your friends who refuse to quit. You know, Melody, they'll do it when it seems like the right thing for them to do. We just can't push others into quitting.

Just be grateful you've got such a strong quit going. I certainly am.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: October 7, 2005 1:52 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Everybody!...Anne... Gary....Deb....and everyone else too...

Sometimes it takes longer but that doesn't mean it will not get done. My brother's last relapse was his 1 year bench mark, and he had relapsed a lot before that. He never gave up. And that was 35 years ago! He hasn't had one since. So do not be discouraged if your friends relapse. If they want it, they'll get it....and they do want it, so they'll find their way...I want to borrow some words from Kevin here, and say the best thing we can do is "leave the light burning."

Having said that, Melody, I feel the same way as you and Jo about being a Non-Smoker. I can't imagine being anything else, and all I ever get around smoke is just irritated (and sometimes a little sick! Wink like tonight when I came home, and someone had thrown one out the door of the apartment building and there it lay, still burning on the sidewalk..Yuk!...what if my dog burned his foot..and it really stank...Now that roll of masking tape on my kitchen counter? it goes into my jacket pocket in the morning, because I know which neighbor threw the cig out the door, and I must not--no, Margaret, you really must not say anything to him!) Rolling Eyes ...and how do I know it wasn't someone walking down the street? because I was driving forever, looking for a parking spot--back and forth in front of the building...I make U-turns..easier than going around the block, and also ensures that no one can jump into a place in front of me!.... Laughing

Now how is that? I have answered a post, and ranted at the same time....sorry about that.... Rolling Eyes...but parking is STRESSFUL, and I never thought about smoking at all, not even with one lying there (but did think of telling someone off Embarassed so I still have to work some with Miss Manners Laughing )

Have a blessed smoke-free night, Everyone! Very Happy

P.S. The opera was wonderful, it gets better all the time, probably because I don't smoke and get to spend intermissions drinking champaign Wink ! (It's so great not to have to go outside! No stinky clothes, and I get to show off the ones I do wear. Laughing )
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Margaret
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