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Need to vent......
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mtwilsonranch



Quit Date:
January 20, 2006

Posts: 1863
Location: nevada

PostPosted: November 8, 2005 7:44 PM    Post subject: Need to vent...... Reply with quote

I need to vent.......all day long I have been walking back and forth, between these boards, my knitting and crocheting.....nothing is helping at the moment......I keep getting in my way, I know it is the addiction that is being pushy today.....so I want to rant....................

When I started smoking, it was cool, I was 14 it was the 50's, and cigarettes were only 15 cents a pack.......HAPPY DAYS....

The 60's were better, everyone was smoking, my doctor would smoke with me while I was in his office talking about the baby to come.....I could smoke at my desk at work, I smoked while I fed my babies, I smoked every half hour.......I SMOKED..........

The 70's were good, still smoking...there was some talk about cigarettes MIGHT be harmfull, but hey, not to me, so I smoked, at least 2 1/2 packs a day..................

The 80's brought the whistleblower.....Cigarettes were poison, and they named the chemicals that were in them..........but I still smoked......

The 90's brought me sad news, all of my smoking friends had died from lung cancer and other smoking related illness......I still smoked.......

2000....The year of enlightenment, this smoking is no longer what I thought it was...a Habit I could break......It became very clear that this is an addiction and I have created it.........2005, I have been free of poison for 4 months, 1 week and yes I feel so proud of me, but at the same time I feel like I am missing my right arm..Usually I can get through the day without the smoking thoughts, but for some reason today the illusion hangs on, making me itch...there are no ants for me to stomp so I am here venting.................

I hate this addiction, I hate the lies, and I hate the illusion of the one good smoke............................................................................

I will ride this out, Everyone that celebrates an milestone of quitting is a light for me to follow, I just love to see those who are overcoming, for it is showing me that it can be done.............

I am so sorry that this is so long, but mainly I wrote for me, to get this out, and I do feel better.................

I have an attitude of gratitude, Cool

Pam
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Right Now, this minute, this hour, this day, I choose not to feed my addiction....
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: November 8, 2005 7:53 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam you should have put this so called rant under inspirations as you are Quit and you are keeping your Quit. Imagine how that will help those coming up from behind. I feel all of you on my heels at all times and it's what makes me know without a doubt that I will never turn back. Run out front with pride you deserve it. Wink Kay's just ahead of me but she's quick. Laughing
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swaneem



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1298
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: November 8, 2005 8:00 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Pam,

WOW...that sure was a walk down "Memory Lane". Although I didn't smoke at the time, I remember my first job with everyone in the office smoking.....as well as smoking areas in the hospitals.

It has been a big part of your life and of course there will be loads of memories and a feeling something is missing. You're now creating NEW memories as a nonsmoker.

You're stronger than you may think, Pam......you ARE doing it....and you'll continue to experience more and more time as a nonsmoker.

You got it......keep going......be very very proud of yourself!

Donna
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: November 8, 2005 8:58 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fantastic "Rant," Pam. Like you, I began smoking in the 50's (although I was in my twenties then -- much older than your 14). You're right. Everyone smoked; doctors included.

You've succeeded in making your quit strong now, though, and are to be congratulated on that. As you know, life without cigarettes is difficult at first but, after time becomes easier and so very worthwhile.

I wish you only the best. Many thanks for your "Rant."
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: November 8, 2005 9:34 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Pam, The VERY reason I started smoking back in the early 60's - Because EVERYBODY else smoked! What a fool I was Crying or Very sad Now the reason to stay QUIT here is Because EVERYBODY else is, and aren't we all just so proud of ourselves and EVERYBODY else!!!!! You guys are the GREATEST bunch of quitters ever. Great job, Pam, great job Everybody!!
Smile
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Essie
4/14/04
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: November 8, 2005 9:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

great rant, pam! Smile

i wonder; could there be some connection to an event that happened on this date? it seems to take about a year to get through all the anniversaries, etc., that we used to mark by taking a smoke break (or three)...
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kevin

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marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: November 8, 2005 10:08 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great Rant, Pam!!

Yeah....for years I refused to go to a hospital because you couldn't smoke in the beds anymore. Rolling Eyes Man, you forget about some of this stuff sometimes! Nice tohave such a vivid reminder!

Whew! I'm glad I don't smoke anymore.

You go, girl!!!! Cool Very Happy
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Margaret
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alleghany



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 2049

PostPosted: November 8, 2005 10:40 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam,

I understand about the right arm. I grew-up in a home of tobacco users in tobacco country. It is as if someone decided you don't wear socks. But, of course, everyone wears socks ~ how silly not to! And the clincher would be that socks caused cancer/illness/pre-mature death. Shocked

I believe we are really blessed to have the ability to change, no matter how long our addiction lasted. We'll get through this ~ together! Cool

Good thoughts sent to you! Cool
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Quit date: June 6, 2004
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: November 8, 2005 11:26 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam, great rant. I've been there too. Those are the memories of your youth and you had youth with cigarettes. But remember, even non-smokers miss the 50's, 60's, 70's, etc and nothing they can do will bring back those years. Just try to tell yourself that you're missing days gone by and not those yucky cigarettes. Kerry
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mtwilsonranch



Quit Date:
January 20, 2006

Posts: 1863
Location: nevada

PostPosted: November 9, 2005 11:15 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really did feel better after I banged away on these keys.......

Kevin, you are so right on, today is a special day in my family, one that I was not looking forward to this year...so yes facing something for the first time without the poison, ...

Alleghany, you also made me realize that the missing came not only from my smoking life, but also coming from a smokers home, mother, father, older brother, grandfather rolled his own....so oh my, yes the change is going to feel out of sorts..........

Kerry, getting ready for today I was going thourgh old pictures, news clippings, this sparked memories......

These 3 things contributed to the itch that kept getting bigger.........

Meloldy, Donna, Jo, Essie and Margaret, thank you for your support and kind words, which really helps on this journey..... when we can not see the forest through the tress..........your words hold my eyes steady on the path.....Yes we all are free of poison and we are doing this together Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Pam
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Right Now, this minute, this hour, this day, I choose not to feed my addiction....
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: November 12, 2005 11:12 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam, Loved this rant. Way to keep your quit! Very Happy
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Tammy
Free and loving it!
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: November 13, 2005 12:00 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry to be late....Melody is quite pushy Laughing Laughing I thought this was a great rant.....sorry you were having a not so comfortable day but aren't you proud to be able to say you worked through it?
Kay
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Deb



Quit Date:
February 5, 2010

Posts: 967
Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)

PostPosted: November 17, 2005 8:53 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam,

Wow, a trip down memory lane as I too remember this scenerio. WTG, keep kicking butt and never give in to the nasty Scowling Demon

Deb
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marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: November 17, 2005 9:09 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kerry, I just want to add a special thank you for pointing out that it is the "Memory Lane" days we are missing, and not the cigs! Never thought of that! I think that's what's been wrong with me lately.

I've saving both Pam's post and yours together.
Very Happy
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Margaret
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: November 17, 2005 11:05 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

ANYTIME! Cool
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