quit smoking support @ woofmang.com
people helping people beat the addiction to nicotine
 
help support our communityDonate FAQFAQ SearchSearch RSS FeedRSS Feed MemberlistMemberlist RegisterRegister ProfileProfile Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages Log inLog in

Keeping my Quit

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > and rants
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
mtwilsonranch



Quit Date:
January 20, 2006

Posts: 1863
Location: nevada

PostPosted: January 28, 2006 1:44 PM    Post subject: Keeping my Quit Reply with quote

It has been suggested that I try to express my emotions when they occur, it just might help to keep this quit......

I am feeling so down on me, Now logic tells me that I need to get over my fall...but when I would have been 7 months free on the 26th of this month, I just want to scream......and the depression of not knowing where or how my #1 child is driving me insane with worry...I get so angry with him, so hurt and I am so confused as to why this should happen.....How can I turn off my heart and thoughts....I know this is the Big Trigger, reason tells me I cannot do anything about this situation, I have to let all things be as they are....I can do that for awhile, then when special days, like a birthday, Christmas, family get togethers, then the dpression hits....and I find that I cannot function, I just shut down Crying or Very sad

I lost my quit of almost 7 months free from nicotine, 5 cigarettes, and that beast has hope.......So it is a little stronger this time but I am taking it one day at a time.....it is all I can do to keep myself positive........

Thank you Kay for suggesting that I try to post my emotions, that it just might help me stay on this journey, because in the past, I used smoking as a tool to deal with my emotions............


Pam
_________________

Right Now, this minute, this hour, this day, I choose not to feed my addiction....
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: January 28, 2006 2:02 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam, it's great to hear from you. We all know that quitting isn't easy and many of us have fallen into the clutches of Scowling Demon over and over again.

OK, so you slipped. I'm certain it's disheartening to look back and feel that you wasted 7 months. That time isn't wasted, though. Just think about all you learned about quitting; all the secrets to surviving those cravings.

So now, you've begun again but that time wasn't wasted. What you learned then is still with you and you can go on and learn even more.

Just know that we're all here to help. God forbid, one of us may slip too and need to lean on you. Just stay strong, my friend.
_________________

LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
alison



Quit Date:
June 3, 2003

Posts: 751
Location: Next Stop, Michigan

PostPosted: January 28, 2006 2:07 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam,

First of all you didn't lose your quit you just misplaced it. I am thrilled for you because you found it and are walking the walk again. Please don't dwell on the past. Every morning is an opportunity to create a whole new life. It's great that you have written of your feelings, that is what this place is here for, but I am hoping that you can let go of your disappointment and take joy in your new resolve.

Some folks need a little more reinforcement than others. You know more clearly what you want now. Hold tight, you now have an understanding of how precious this quit really is.

((((Pam))))

Welcome back to the freedom.
_________________

I wish you peace.

alison
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
swaneem



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1298
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: January 28, 2006 2:19 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam,

It just seems to me that life isn't getting easier....there is always something to deal with....and there's been so much sadness on this Board in just a short time.

Smoking will not change any of this nor make anything go away. It can't possibly make things better.....only worse.

Pam, you have NOT LOST the 7 months you didn't smoke.....that's impossible. Your body had 7 months of healing and you were strong enough to get right back after a very BRIEF relapse. Only your quit date has changed....a small detail...which cannot negate the long period you've been smoke-free. Forget the new quit date....concentrate on the "record" of 7 months.

Just live for the moment....keep posting......and DON'T SMOKE.

Hugs,

Donna
_________________

Just when the caterpillar thought his world was
coming to an end..........God made him a
BUTTERFLY.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Deb



Quit Date:
February 5, 2010

Posts: 967
Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)

PostPosted: January 28, 2006 2:20 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam,

Your being way to hard on yourself. You did not lose a 7th month quit but, gained 7 months of being smoke free. This time around you are more experienced and will know what to expect.

Your doing a great job. We all know that smoking won't make you worry any less if anything, it just causes more problems. I think this is why it's such a tricky addiction, we feel saddened and pain and Scowling Demon trys to lure us back in by suggesting he can ease the pain......LIAR.

Hang on and take it one day at a time. I know that worrying and being a Mom goes hand in hand so know that your in my thoughts and prayers.

Post, post, post but, dont's smoke. You are worth so much more!! Very Happy

Deb
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: January 28, 2006 6:30 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam, the others are right about the 7 months that y ou did not smoke. Your lungs were healing then, and you still have that. The only part you got back was the addiction, and health is more important and you still have that. You will soon be rid of the addictionagain, too, so don't worry about that part.

I heard 2 different emtions here, so maybe you might be confusing them?
One was that you were sad that you lost the 7 months quit and had to start it again, and the other was worry for your child. Those are 2 different things, so maybe if you look at it like that, you can tell when you are thinking about cigs, and when you are lonely and worried for your child. An emotion is not a crave. When you get them separated, you will find they even feel different. ANd then you will find you are not relly craving as much as you think. Youre most likely sad instead, so perhaps you can think of some things to cheer yourself up.

I can only imagine the fear you must go through, but that is still not a crave. So knowing that, perhaps you can distract yourself from it. It will not help to think about it. Do not start obsessing about it, because then the Nick will ry to get you to obsess obout the cigs, too. He has nothing to do with you and you child. Nothing at all.

You can do this. Just keep posting. ANd keep doing all that stuff with the water, the breathing, the snacks, the exercise. It gets easier as you go. What kinds of things do you really like? I love shopping, so I did that, even if I only bought a cute pencil with a tassel, it cheered me up!

JUst keep on keeping on. When you can't stand it, get in the tub and cry. Then come here and post. It will pass.
_________________

Margaret
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: January 28, 2006 6:47 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam, please try to stop focusing on regret for things that you can't change. What's done is done.

In 7 years, you'll have forgotten about the few cigarettes you smoked. If it's 7 hours, 7 days or 7 weeks or 7 months....it doesn't matter. What matters is that you are not smoking TODAY!

I could sit here and mourn the 34 years as a heavy smoker, and kick myself for not stopping sooner. I can't know the damage I've done, I can only not do any more damage.

You are not smoking now, and as long as you keep that going, you won't have to focus on past mistakes or regrets or worry about future challanges.

Taking care of YOU is what this is all about.....not worrying about "losing your quit" or what any of us will think Rolling Eyes This quit is all about YOU, AND FOR YOU, and be happy for yourself that you are an exceptionally smart and brilliant lady for not smoking right now!

It IS good that you are learning to face your emotions head on. So, go look in the mirror, and let yourself know that you are no longer going to waste time worrying about things past....you've got too many positive things to use your energy for in the future.

Here's a hug, now go and do something for you!
_________________

FIVE + years of freedom and loving it!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: January 28, 2006 8:12 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

your son's situation, for better or worse, is none of your doing, pam; he's old enough to make his own choices, and whatever those choices are, you can in no way blame yourself. you also can't change the situation by worrying about it; all that will accomplish is the wasting of moments that will never come again. i know, because i've been there and done that, and one of the things i used to do extra hard in situations like that was smoke my brains out. it's a huge trigger.

and i'm sure i don't have to tell you that you don't need to respond to that trigger by smoking.

as far as the quit date, your frustration with that is perfectly understandable, but you know what? in 20 years, if someone asks you if you ever smoked, you'll have to stop and think, and then you'll say, "yes, but it must be 20 years since i quit."

choose life, just for today, and tomorrow will take care of itself.
_________________

keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: January 29, 2006 4:48 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Kevin, in the long run the days, months, or even years will not be an issue, you'll just know you quit. Smile

Smile now and keep moving forward.

Sandyz
free for 830 days
_________________

"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: January 29, 2006 8:44 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

So Pam yes your Halo got tarnished a tad so polish it up and keep going. Stop focusing on what you feel you have lost and put your thoughts into what you have gained in the last 7 months.(No I don't mean pounds Laughing )
I have a daughter that I haven't seen since July and 2 years ago she left her son and hubby with me. I do know where you are coming from as you are right family get togethers are tough but mine more so because I'm sick of everyone trying to push me into tracking her down. She seems intent on ruining her life I don't need her ruining my grandsons. Since living with my son in-law I can see he was no treat to live with as he is totally dysfunctional but at least he knows enough to stay out of my line of vision most days. Wink He is an alcoholic and thinks we are to stupid to smell the sour fumes on him. Such is life I can't control what he or my daughter do but I can control (at this time)my grandsons childhood. That is where I keep my focus. What ever your sons choices are in life he chose. Be happy they are not yours.Kevin has the right idea get it out in the open it will help. Here I'll start you off with one of my pet peeves. Some of my family appears to think since I'm not upset all the time about her disappearing act that I don't love her. That just frost me when they say stupid crap like that. Love and displeasure are not the same word at all. Very Happy
_________________

I'm a NON-SMOKER thanks to everyone here
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: January 29, 2006 9:33 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam, give yourself a big hug! You are doing just fine. I agree with the others, you have been smoke free for 7 months.

Just key in on today. Just take one day at a time.

Your doing great... you just need to tell yourself that! Wink

It is good that you get everything out instead of keeping it bottled up. You post anytime! We're here for you!

God Bless! Very Happy

Love. Londa
_________________

My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
mtwilsonranch



Quit Date:
January 20, 2006

Posts: 1863
Location: nevada

PostPosted: January 29, 2006 6:57 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you all for your wisdom and truth......You all are great Wink Very Happy

I have read these replies over and over, and YES it is time to get on with my quit.....Instead of looking at the glass half empty it is time to see it half full.......Pamela and Melody, You said that I was focusing on regret, yes, yes I was..funny how I could not see it that way, but upon reading I begin to see, I am now able to turn my thinking around....
And Deb, Donna, Sandy, Jo, you all stated that I have not lost but gained and that these last 7 months were not wasted and Alison you also stated that I had not lost, just misplaced my quit.....This is so positive, (Glass half Full) and when I look at my quit this way, I can feel the energy level rise..All That Matters is this minute I am not smoking Wink Very Happy

Margaret,
it is sadness and regret and some guilt thrown in, you are right, deal with the emotions and the crave becomes less.......Learning to face my emotions and deal with them without the poison........BIG, BIG Lesson Cool

londa I do need to Key in on today ....sometimes it is easy to forget when I am focusing on the negative Embarassed

Kevin you stated that my son's situation was
none of my doing, and that worrying is only wasting of moments that will never come again.... Nothing more needs to be said, this says it all........

Kay Thank you, you are so dear, you encouraged me to put my emotions in writting when they appeared, I was so concered that I could not express myself, but I followed your advice, and got food and drink for this journey of FREEDOM....

Thank you,

I have an attitude of gratitude Cool

Pam
_________________

Right Now, this minute, this hour, this day, I choose not to feed my addiction....
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Deb



Quit Date:
February 5, 2010

Posts: 967
Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)

PostPosted: January 30, 2006 9:10 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam,

Glad to see you are thinking differently. As hard as it may seem, looking at the glass half full is a lot better. We can do things much easier with a positive attitude. Looking back and having regrets robs us of the day ahead.

I do find it amazing that through these tough times, everyone here has a peice of advice wich is so helpful. With smoking, we all seem to go through similar situations and when one of us post and others reply well, it helps us all. Sometimes I just read a post and think wow I feel just like that and wammo within a little while ........help is here. This Is so cool Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Keep up the great work Pam and remember to keep on posting because, we all need to share our day to day strategies - it just helps us remember that we are not alone and with hard work and support, staying quit forever is truly possible Wink

Deb

quit 27 days and counting Wink
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > and rants All times are GMT - 4 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

quit smoking support
woofmang dot com