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What is wrong with me!

 
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: February 1, 2006 6:38 PM    Post subject: What is wrong with me! Reply with quote

I had a doctors appointment today and then counselor appointment. Left the house happy came home sad.

First my cholestrol is extremely high!!! 286 (please don't scare me, I can't handle it right now) My HDL is very very good, MY TRIG is excellent, My ratio is excellent My LDL is 181 should be 135. So doctor said to watch diet and see if I can lower it and she will take another blood test in 2 months. Plus my thyroid is boderline.

THen went to my counselor, haven't been in 1 1/2 years. So I talked fast and was jumping from one subject to another. She finally said, have you thought of taking a pill to take the edge off. I don't want to take an antidepressant. The only time I feel sad is when people think I need it. I am a high strung person. I have a job where I am constantly multi-tastking. So sometimes I tend to take that home with me. So tonight my friend called and I told her what my counselor said. She said, WHy not Londa. You might feel better. You know you were acting kinda of high Monday Night. I said, What do you mean. She said talking fast.

All my life whenever I have gotten excited about something, I always talked fast. It's my personality! I am so tired of people thinking I have to take a pill! I know I worry alot, trying to work on that.

I am sitting here crying, feeling like there is no hope for me. Dosen't anybody understand that maybe, just maybe, I still might be grieving? Can't people accept people for who they are? I don't look at someone else and say they are talking too slow!!!! What's the difference?

I know, your all probably thinking I should take a pill. Well maybe. All I know is I felt fine until I went to the counselors and talked with my friend. I just have thin skin.

As for my cholesterol. I will probably have to take a pill for that in 2 months if it dosen't improve. In the mean time, what is good for getting it down?

Thanks for listening.

Love, Londa (who needs a hug tonight)
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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Deb



Quit Date:
February 5, 2010

Posts: 967
Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)

PostPosted: February 1, 2006 6:54 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Londa,

Oh my you sound like you can use a break. You just went through a terrible tragedy of course, you should still be greiving. If you weren't then I would think that something truly was wrong. Give yourself some time and see what happens. I'm not a strong believer in antidepressants but, everyone is different. Your cholesterol can be lowered beleive it or not by eating a bowl of oatmeal every morning. It really does help. Very Happy

Please take some time for yourself, a little pampering always helps. Wink

Your in my prayers.

Deb
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swaneem



Quit Date:
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Posts: 1298
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: February 1, 2006 7:18 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Londa,

BIG HUG FOR YOU! Never mind what these people are saying....you know yourself better than anyone. Too many of them are becoming "pill pushers". I'm like you...they have to fight me to take drugs...too many complications with them.

You've just suffered a family tragedy and there's no set time for grief. Be gentle with yourself......pamper yourself. Massages are wonderfully relaxing. Smile

Donna
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
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Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: February 1, 2006 7:23 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

(((londa)))

i don't think you need a pill, londa, but you may need a new counselor; one that doesn't jump to suggest you medicate yourself when what you really need is understanding and space to feel the feelings that are perfectly normal for you to be feeling right now. as for your friend, she probably didn't mean anything by what she said; maybe she was just telling you what she thought you wanted to hear. i'm sure that if you let her know that you'd rather not be taking pills to cover up what only time and acceptance can heal, she'll understand. if not, maybe you need a new friend, too.

and as far as that goes, don't worry; you've got lots of them right here. Smile
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kevin

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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: February 1, 2006 7:26 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Londa go get some flax oil tablets they will lower LDL take 2000mg per day. Keep it in the fridge otherwise it is unstable. You don't need a pill you have had all a person can take and then some. Tell them to bite your ASS. You get to grieve as long as you need. I'm still grieving for you and I didn't even know your brother. Crying is not bad sometimes it is a healing cry and just what is needed. Thinking of you often.
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: February 1, 2006 8:28 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, Londa - (((((BIG HUG))))) I pretty much agree with what the others have said, mainly give this some time, you may not need a pill, and have a bowl of oatmeal every morning. I sometimes have Cheerioes at night too, both suppose to be good. I sure hope the hugs help! Just keep taking care of yourself, which it looks like you are.

Proud to call myself your friend,
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4/14/04
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: February 1, 2006 8:33 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Londa I'm right there with Melody. Pills don't solve everything. There are times when they're necessary but in most cases, we can take care of ourselves.

My cholesterol is somewhat high also; triglycerides are fine. My doctor is working with me (without medication) to get the LDL down and the HDL higher. So far we're doing pretty well. I do take 2 Tbsp of ground flaxseed every morning; also a glass of red wine each evening - sometimes more than 1 glass. Watch your diet -- low fat, etc. You'll be fine.

As for your counselor. She needs to find a different job. Counselors are to counsel and aid in recovery from emotional problems. They are not to judge.

You and your family remain in my prayers. God is with you and will help you through these tough times. You know that, Londa.
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mtwilsonranch



Quit Date:
January 20, 2006

Posts: 1863
Location: nevada

PostPosted: February 1, 2006 8:43 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh londa,

I also would not recommend the pill to fix something that is not broke.......I agree, maybe you do need a new counselor........I found a beautiful Hymn that really helped me, it is called " I come to the Garden Alone".....This helps when no words can...

You are still grieving, that does take time to soften, so be kind to you, find the silence and rest in God....You are so very Dear to all here.....

Pam
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marw



Quit Date:
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Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: February 1, 2006 11:26 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Londa, do NOT take any anti-depressents!! THey mess you up! I agree 100 per cent with Kevin about that counselor! Get a different one if that is the best she can do! I, too, am a fast person (or I used to be before I got Fibro) and I know just what you mean. There I was, healthy as a horse in those days, and people were forever telling me to slow down!! I was always insulted by that. THe only time I ever really felt comfortable was when I went to NYC....I almost moved there on that basis alone Laughing ....and at least people walked fast there like me. I, too, used to multi-task. Personally, I liked being a fast person! Do not let anyone mess you up about this, you just keep on being who you are....which is very nearly perfect as far as I can see.

As for your friend, it has been suggested she didn't mean anything, but I'm not sure I agree. At best, she was totally insensitive!!! I think I'll go with Melody on that, as in "BITE ME!" to this friend if that's all she has to say. How snotty that was!! Maybe she has an inferiority complex herself!!!!

And you get to grieve as long as you want to. But I know what you mean about the way others act. I went through that when my Dad died. How fast people forget!! At first they are so sympathetic, but then if you don't just snap right back, they start acting like something is wrong with you! Nothing is wrong with you, Londa!! Nothing, I promise! (Probably there is a lot wrong with people who have such shallow understandings of grief!)

You just keep on being you! YOu are just right as you are.

P.S. I didn't know about the oatmeal, however....maybe I'll try that. BTW: That cholestrol can easily be controled with diet, I'll ask my friend about it, or try some of Melody's suggestions. Once I had a high reading....and I gave up eggs for a while and it went back down. Maybe eat more fish and less red meat. (I love red meat myself, but since it costs so much, I don't eat it a lot.)

Write again and let us now how you are donig with this! Gonna try that oatmeal myself! I'm one of those people who actually LIKES oatmeal! Laughing

Many HUGS!!!!!!!!

For Kevin: Is there anyway we cn get an icon for hugs? Cool
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: February 1, 2006 11:31 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Londa.....you're an amazing woman...and you've gotten some great feedback from everyone...all I'll add is that if you are taking good care of yourself and not withdrawing from the world - you probably don't need an anti-depressant... you have every right to be incredibly sad right now...but you are functioning getting through each day and taking on new things and remaining active...you're doing ok....and it will get better.

With the cholesterol...well - I think the oatmeal is a pretty easy change to make - the only other things would be to watch the animal fats...maybe try to have a vegetarian day every week....if you aren't already - limit the red meats and go for the low fat choices.

(((Londa))) - there's a hug for you....that's the best medicine I know...
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Mary D.
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Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: February 2, 2006 12:05 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Londa,

Can you explain to the counselor how you are with being high strung and all, so she can understand you better? Also, can you tell her how you feel about going on a medicine? I myself tend to be the same way at times so I can relate.

Blessings,
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Pamela



Quit Date:
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Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: February 2, 2006 10:28 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Londa -

Personally, I reject taking ANY medication...even an aspirin...unless I, me, can buy into why I need it. I won't give you any medical advice.....except to say that I think the more doctors know, the less they know. Trust your own instincts, as you are the one who knows you and your body the best.


I think you are perfect just the way you are. That's my 2 cents.


((((((Londa))))))
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jahunta



Quit Date:
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Posts: 1129
Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA

PostPosted: February 2, 2006 2:31 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try some deep breathing again...Remeber how it calmed you down during your quit?? Use it again. Perhaps some meditation, a hot tub or bath and about an hour if you can find it...I'm with you about prescription drugs...Unless I need an antibiotic, there's no need for me to be pumping myself with mood altering stuff. There are myriad things you could do...take a walk, get active, work out...As for your diet, raw foods are best. Eat your fruits and veggies, and drink lots of water. keep away from the caffeine and take care of YOU. First and foremost. You don't need a pill, even though you may feel like a pill Smile

Peace and blessings,
Juanita
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: February 2, 2006 6:50 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you so much for the much needed love and encouraging words. For one split second, I thought there was something wrong with me. I'm okay with me now. Crying is okay. And my counselor and friend have not walked in my shoes for 52 years, so they really have no idea who I am and how I feel.

I just know, that I'm back to making pillow cases, laughing with the students at work (very stressful week), and dealing with life the best I can right now. I'm reading God's word, singing His praises, and thanking Him for sending friends like you my way.

See, newbies, this is a great support group! You hang in there.. you've chosen the right path.

So you all have a nice evening and May God poor His many blessings on you for comforting and loving one of His children.

Love, Londa
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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