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That "one Puff" Thing!
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marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: February 18, 2006 3:22 AM    Post subject: That "one Puff" Thing! Reply with quote

No, I didn't take a puff. But it is soooo cold here tonight in Chicago, below zero, I think. I forgot my pain meds when I went to the opera (and they are hours long!), then had to wait an hour for the valet to get the car around, and that's what I found myself thinking! "One puff...just one....would calm me down....it would make me feel better....what could one puff hurt?" OMG!! Shocked I have never had this thought. It just seemed to arrive out of the blue....like I was someone else, or something! It wasn't a strong urge or even a crave, it just a strong thought! So I got really scared, after the thought left! Especially as it returned 2 or 3 times, before I just banished it!! Sad

We can NEVER BE TOO vigilent!!!! In all of my quit time, I don't think I ever had that particular thought. But suppose, someone had been with me that smoked? Would I have? How can I be sure I wouldn't have? Oh, boy, I think I need to plug up the "unexpected Misery" back door, or maybe it is the "unexpected and extended-time Misery" back-door!!

I didn't smoke, and don't think I would have, but I was just so shocked to arrive at this ridicuous point after being quit so long. It felt too much like a sudden "teetering!"

I guess I will go back to carrying jelly beans in my pocket just to be safe! Rolling Eyes

Thanks for listening! And a good motto might be: "Always be prepared!"
I didn't have any of my Emergency kit stuff with me (such as gum, candy, or even a bottle of water) because Ithought I was way beyond temptation. I won't get cocky again, I hope!

Take care of your precious quits. Very Happy Never take them for granted.

Love,
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Margaret
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Simone



Quit Date:
April 28, 2005

Posts: 953
Location: Australia

PostPosted: February 18, 2006 4:24 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Margaret,

good on you for taking a positive attitude but it is so scary when old nico pays a visit Scowling Demon it ereally goes to show we are addicts & always have to be prepared I carry sugar free chewing gum/lollies & water everytime I step out the house.

I have left a few places as I thought I was teetering too....the craves get so darn strong grr. I too won't ever get 'cocky' again either

Oh what Opera did you see ??, yes they are hours long but such a delight I hope you had a great time apart from the nico scare.

I don't know how you can stand that type of cold I would drop dead !! I actually cried before we got the central heating put in as in the Hills it gets a lot colder at night 1c at the worst so I have nothing to complain about compared to the cold in Chicago.

So proud of you Smile

(((hugs)))
Love Simone xox

Simone - Free and Healing for Nine Months, Twenty Days, 5 Hours and 54 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 20 Days and 13 Hours, by avoiding the use of 5925 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $2,698.94.
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Deb



Quit Date:
February 5, 2010

Posts: 967
Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)

PostPosted: February 18, 2006 8:17 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Margaret,

Thanks for sharing this. The important thing is that you didn't smoke. I guess the Laughing Demon can creep up no matter how long we've been quit. Crying or Very sad This is scary but, you handled it like a champ. Wink

I will have an emergency kit with me, everytime I leave the house, just to be on the safe side. I know lot's of people who have been quit for 10 years plus and they still say that they get the urge but, they don't smoke because, they know they cannot feed the addiction. Will we ever be able to let our guards down? Confused I guess acting on and thinking of are two very different things (as long as we choose the later)

Keep up the great quit Margaret! Laughing

Deb
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: February 18, 2006 8:23 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Margaret - it is a bit scary....thank goodness those moments are few and far between! I'm sorry it happened - but hope you enjoyed the opera! Anyway, you had your most important keep quit tools with you...your determination and knowledge & understanding of nicotine addiction - you quickly recognized old Laughing Demon and left him behind at the curb.
Good for you!!!!
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: February 18, 2006 8:39 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Marg you handled that perfectly you Number 1 acknowledged the thought and Number 2 you stomped on it. Does make you wonder if a smoker had been present would it have influenced your choice. So this is where you need to analyze yourself a bit closer. Did the thought bring you peace or make you feel angry or even upset with yourself? You need to have these question answered in your mind ahead of time at all times so the only answer becomes the right answer. Wink If we were talking a joint I can see where it might have helped with pain but a cig wouldn't control pain. No I wasn't advocating smoking a joint. Shocked
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: February 18, 2006 10:20 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Geez, Margaret, your title had me saying "NO, NO, NO -- DON'T." I was so relieved to get into the post and learn that you didn't give in to Scowling Demon .

You're so right -- we can never let our guard down. Knowing full well that taking that puff wouldn't have calmed you down, he still tempted you.

I'm so thankful you held strong. Very Happy
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Jo
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jahunta



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1129
Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA

PostPosted: February 18, 2006 1:59 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Marw,

Oh yeah, it happens. It's not as urgent as it was at the beginning of the quit, but it's always there lurking. It either shows up like it showed up for you, or more my case, in a dream. The fight of addiction doesn't end. It's a daily thing. Mostly you've got it under control, but sometimes it slaps you in the face. You just keep the quit...It's what we have to do...
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 18, 2006 3:30 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Margaret,

It happens to me too especially right now when I am so tired and down. Don't stop being vigulant as the Laughing Demon creeps up at the most inopportune times to try and get us back to his way of life. I for one don't want or need it but still get the urge or should I say the thought of an urge every once in awhile especially during times when my life has me beyond stressed. To the point of no return almost. But it isn't worth the pain that it puts you through or the pain it puts others through if and when you get sick from smoking.

Hang in there.
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It just gets better with age.
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marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: February 18, 2006 10:47 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

THanks Simone, Deb, Mary, Melody, Jo, Nita, and Leona. I appreciate these replies a lot, and I also learned from them. I think that is what makes this site so great--one of the things anyway--is that we continuously learn here, about the addiction, so get stronger in handling it.

Simone, the opera was Rigoletto, it was a new production, and it was TERRIFIC!! As operas go, it is a fairly short one, only 2 and half hours (the next one is 4 hours!), but I was in pain because of forgetting the pain meds.
Still, it was worth every minute! Very Happy

Deb and Simone, and everyone----I plan to take an Emergency Kit everywhere from now on, and thanks for bringing that up. I see now why my brother carries that gum that he never chews. (He's been carrying gum for years! But he's been quit for 30 years! )

I had a good idea...which is that when we get ready to go out, perhaps it is wiser to load our purses first (and keep a list handy of all we always want to have in there) so we can't rush off at the last minute and leave stuff behind. (Guys, I guess you don't want to carry purses? Wink pockets will do!)

Melody, to answer your question, the thought (of cigs) made me very angry!! But it also scared me. And no, it didn't later feel like it would have been peaceful...just the opposite. I firmly believe that if I ever smoke again, it will kill me. But how one thinks is certainly a good thing to pay attention to, also.

Mary, Jo, Nita, and Leona....thanks for your support, too. It is helpful to know I'm not the only one who goes through this after being quit a long time.

The "one puff" part felt the most dangerous. I couldn' believe that I actually forgot that thing about taking the whole habit back when you contemplate one puff. I'm going to write it down and put it with the gum and water when I go out.

Thanks a lot again!! Whew! I'm so glad I found out that I still need to be vigilant. It's so easy to start sliding and thinking you are safe, when I don't think I ever will be, but can only trust in myself. What else can we do really? But continue to believe that we are stronger than the Nick!

BTW: I am around smokers sometimes and this has not happened then.
THe guy who comes to vacuum and mop for me sometimes (my girl friends' BF...which is really nice of him) smokes, and I make him go outside, but this week when it was so cold, I let him just stand in the kitchen door instead. But I did insist that the cig butt be wrapped in tin foil, and then in a zip-lock plastic baggie....this way it does not smell in your garbage.

Thanks again all! Very Happy Very Happy
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
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Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: February 19, 2006 8:10 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Margaret,

One never knows when it'll appear...good for you for not giving in!

I believe like Melody said...acknowledge and act accordlingly. The key to constant dlilgence in defeating this addiction.

You have the knowledge, and now, a purse full of jelly beans Wink Very Happy , so hey, you are good to go!! Very Happy

Hugs
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Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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mtwilsonranch



Quit Date:
January 20, 2006

Posts: 1863
Location: nevada

PostPosted: February 19, 2006 11:52 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Margaret,

It seems that the o'l addiction just lies in wait for our emotions or stress to appear, the BIG Lesson is to be mindfull of that silent voice that says "just One" Such a lie

Good for you for standing strong and aware that this addiction is always with us and that we need to take measures to ensure that we do not fall for that line or thought that one is o.k......

A purse full of goodies sounds great Wink Very Happy

Hugs to you,

Pam
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Right Now, this minute, this hour, this day, I choose not to feed my addiction....
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: February 19, 2006 6:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Musical Note Just one puff
that all it took was just one puff
and I knew that I I I
was hooked....
Oh yeah....Musical Note

Musical Note Just one puff and I knew that I I I
would be hooked....
on smoking.....Musical Note

Musical Note But .... I said no, no no....
I want my freedom...
Oh Yeah....

Just one puff..
thats all it would take
is just one puff...Musical Note


BUT YOU DIDN"T!! Way to go girl!!!!
I get those little words in my head also. Just today after church I was heading to a friends to drop off baby gifts. I said to myself, I wouldn't mind just one. Walked in her house..... did not smoke...but when I left my nose just smelled off tobacco smoke. She must of just finished smoking. It is just amazing how you can smell it now that you don't smoke. It wasn't very pleasant.

The thing is, we may get those thoughts, but we don't act on them.
So you have a nice day, a God Bless

Love, Londa
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: February 19, 2006 10:17 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Deb, Pam, and Londa. Yep, that is the thing....that even if we have the occasional thought, just NEVER act on it! I appreciate your support.

And Londa, thanks for the song!! Cool ....there is just something about seeing those notes that is so cheery... Very Happy
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Margaret
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gel06



Quit Date:
April 15, 2006

Posts: 2
Location: Dedham, MA

PostPosted: March 9, 2006 7:17 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

i havent quit yet, but i have been in your position. a friend of mine who happens to be in AA likes to tell me that her Scowling Demon is always nearby doing pushups, waiting for her to have a weak moment. for some reason that has always made sense to me. be proud that you fought off the urge, and conscious of the fact that the Scowling Demon is always nearby lying in wait.
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justtheprincess



Quit Date:
December 1, 2013

Posts: 162
Location: San Diego

PostPosted: April 3, 2006 4:29 PM    Post subject: Great Post Margaret Reply with quote

Yes... complacency can sneak up behind you and bite ya in the rear end. Even after 3 years I stop by when things get rough. I am glad you are all here.
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~ Love, Sandi
One day at a time
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