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marw



Quit Date:
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Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: May 15, 2006 11:25 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandi, I had not realized that you do not have a therapist of your own? Oh, you must have one! This is too big and difficult to handle by yourself. You are doing a marvelous job, but the support of a good psychotherapist (not to tell you what to do, you are already doing GREAT!), but just for the support would help so much. I hope you can find someone.

Meantime, I think what you should do between prayers is to post here. And to also continue to believe in yourself. I have known several women with problems with the grown daughters, but you handle this better than anyone I know. You are after all, a human being, and deserve to be one. You should never expect unrealistic perfection from yourself. You are a very wonderful Mother. I really mean this! Always remember that....and know that your daughter will get well in time. She is making great strides, just as you said, and in a very short time. Some set backs are bound to happen. But you always put it back together! I very much admire you, and think that your daughter is a fortunate woman to have you for her Mom!
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
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Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: May 16, 2006 9:21 AM    Post subject: Re: Sad and Grateful ~ Can they co-exist? Reply with quote

sandi, you can't be the "perfect" mom (whatever that is) all the time; all you can do is be who you are in any given moment. some moments that's going to feel better than others. just being aware of what's going on for you is one of the most important things you can do; there are reasons why this situation with megan is happening right now (for both of of you), and being aware of the reactions it's causing in you will help you find those reasons.

meanwhile, you're making progress. both of you. hang on to that.

and what do you do between prayers? whatever's next. just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and trust that this will all work out exactly the way it's supposed to. there's no other way it could turn out.
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: May 16, 2006 11:26 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not a mom, Sandi, so I'm shooting from the hip here. My guess is that the most frustrating part of being a parent is because you are....a parent first and a person second, according to the offspring. As as such, are expected to have only the "parent" or "mom" personna, and never be allowed to be a person with needs in your own right. This is why kids always find it so funny that their parents were ever young, had dates, or even sex...(how did they think they got there?)

However, being a parent does not exclude you from being a human being. You have rights, wants and needs. Don't beat yourself up for being human.

Sounds to me like you are doing everything you can do at this point, even though it may not seem like enough to you.

Keep us updated, and keep using us as your sounding board, for as much and as long as it takes.
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FIVE + years of freedom and loving it!
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justtheprincess



Quit Date:
December 1, 2013

Posts: 162
Location: San Diego

PostPosted: May 18, 2006 12:37 AM    Post subject: Sandy Z.'s Profile Reply with quote

Sandy's profile is echoing in my head. I wish God didn't think I could handle so much. Megan is sedate now. They are treating her for schizophrenia. Today, I went to work and my passive-aggressive systems administrator quit, without notice. She gave a note to HR and walked out. Somehow, during the last few weeks, she threw wrenches in some of our systems interfaces and typed characters that would comment out things from happening in the system. I just replaced my other person, who doesn't start until the 30th, so I am now doing the work of three. God, I cannot handle anymore right now. Do you hear me? I am overburdened and could really use some mercy on your end. This too shall pass. How many times have I said that to new quitters. Time to take some of my own medicine. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. God, handle this. I can't, I can't, I can't! Love, Sandi
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~ Love, Sandi
One day at a time
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: May 18, 2006 10:25 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats, the fact that she told you is a giant step for her...don't beat yourself up over being human......it is a stressful time for you both...
Kay
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: May 21, 2006 6:26 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandi, I have not been doing very well in late getting through so much that has happened in our lives in such a short time. I keep recalling a quote I read years ago, "Let Go let God." I read it often and one day it clicked, let the lord handle what I could not.

I am a believer that the lord will not give us more than we can handle, but at times I want so bad to scream to the heavens and ask…"what are you thinking?" Later I calm down and realize how much I learn about myself and others through heart break. I know how awesome the sunrise looks, how the rain is music to my ears as a soft melody that sings through the trees and plays through the fields. I find my emotions are more in tune to the wonders of life instead of wishing for some thing like a good hair day. Life is much deeper than the little things and through the sadness I am finding the light of love in life.

There are days I feel over whelmed at the things that lie heavy on my mind and in my heart, some days it feels another step might cause me to fall smack on my face. I wonder if I would want to get up and face another day. Then I hear a bird call, the frogs sing and I understand how precious life can be amongst tragedy.

I have hope for tomorrow and faith that will carry me through. And I know the Lord will not hand me more that I can handle, nor will he give you more than you can withstand.

Take time for just you and let God help carry your burden, know my prayers are with you today and everyday.

Sandyz

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~Anonymous
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justtheprincess



Quit Date:
December 1, 2013

Posts: 162
Location: San Diego

PostPosted: July 19, 2006 1:34 PM    Post subject: Sandy Reply with quote

I just wanted you to know. I come back and read your post to remind myself that adversity isn't really that bad. Thank you and God Bless!
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~ Love, Sandi
One day at a time
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