quit smoking support @ woofmang.com
people helping people beat the addiction to nicotine
 
help support our communityDonate FAQFAQ SearchSearch RSS FeedRSS Feed MemberlistMemberlist RegisterRegister ProfileProfile Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages Log inLog in

Want it to stop!!!!
Goto page 1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > and rants
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
sammie



Quit Date:
June 13, 2006

Posts: 80
Location: Midwest, USA

PostPosted: July 21, 2006 2:57 PM    Post subject: Want it to stop!!!! Reply with quote

I want to smoke a cigarette. The physical craving feels like it did much earlier in the quit. I hate this!!!! I have been shoving everything in my mouth (also PMS-ing - sorry men, if that's TMI) and still don't feel satisfied, it just really feels like a smoke would take care of this. I haven't been good about wearing the patch this week, just have forgotten to put it on which is a good sign, I guess, but I have also felt sluggish and wonder if it's related to not wearing the patch. I know exercise would help but it's so hard to exercise when you're tired!!! I did work out last night.

I WANT TO SMOKE, JUST ONE!!!!! Yeah I know there's no "just one," I just want to scream it to someone though: I WANT TO SMOKE AGAIN!!!!

P.S. Is there a rule about profanity on the boards?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: July 21, 2006 3:11 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

We have all been there and a few have been rather mean at times. One of them was me. You can yell at me if you want I remember wanting to shove Debs Laughing face where the sun don't shine. I never add smily's of my own to someone under duress. I focused on her and managed to get over the smoke. It won't help you will still feel like shit but at yourself. Get mad at the cigs and go kick a can. Do what you have to do but don't smoke it does end but it can't end if you won't follow through with the start. You can't get to the finish line if you refuse to stay on the path. June 13 is my B-day I'm rooting for you.
_________________

I'm a NON-SMOKER thanks to everyone here
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Lori



Quit Date:
March 18, 2006

Posts: 521
Location: Pennsylvania, USA

PostPosted: July 21, 2006 3:38 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh Sammie, I know how you feel! It sucks!!! Do it -- scream, cuss, kick, and cry! Just don't let the demon seduce you with his lies. Instead of screaming "I want to smoke again," scream "I want to feed my addiction again!"

Honesty is the only weapon that always beats the demon. Hang in there, hon. And keep posting!
Lori
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: July 21, 2006 4:31 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Want to"? of course you do. That's Laughing Demon talking. I think at about 6 weeks into my quit was one of the hardest times for me. I figured it would be over...done with...by then. I stupidly agreed to host a total stranger, from France, for two weeks.

I was a basket case. However, he (the French guy) had quit himself, and knew what I was going through. I felt more sorry for him than me, that he had to live in the same house with TWO (Mr. Bill quit as well) quitters.

So, although your quit is different than mine was, and everyone elses, please know that you are going through a normal (horrible) but normal phase.

Just don't put a lit cigarette in your mouth.....and you'll make it!
_________________

FIVE + years of freedom and loving it!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: July 21, 2006 6:26 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Howl at the moon, kick a tree, slam some doors but do not smoke....a couple of times with you kicking Scowling Demon to the curb and it gets easier.....remember who has the choice here....know you are wanting to smoke and then choose not to for that moment ,,,then the next until it passes....promise it is doable not easy but doable....
Kay
_________________

All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
sammie



Quit Date:
June 13, 2006

Posts: 80
Location: Midwest, USA

PostPosted: July 21, 2006 6:47 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, ladies. (No male replies - I wonder if the PMS admission had anything to do with that.) I am better - not by much, but better!

I got off my a** (literally) and went outside to the garage and just started doing stuff - stuff that didn't necessarily need to be done, but just work. It got my focus off of myself. (Now had I tried to complete a task that actually *needed* doing, I never would've done it.) I saw my husband's cigarettes sitting out there on the workbench and I looked at them longingly, but only for a few seconds. I knew I wasn't going to smoke. I knew that I have come too far to light one up; that I would be immensely disappointed afterwards had I given in.

This sucks. Like Pamela said, I want this to be OVER. I like closure. I am willing to bust my hump to get something done, so I can dust off my hands and pat myself on the back and feel the satisfaction of a job well done. (You know, like, you clean out the garage and you stand there afterwards and admire how clean it is. Or you volunteer to chair an event and work hard to pull it off, and then it's over.) But there's really no "done" with this. That is so frustrating. IT SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS.

Excellent tip about changing the wording to "I WANT TO FEED MY ADDICTION AGAIN!" I like that. You are smart people around here!! Thanks again.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: July 21, 2006 7:02 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Sammie,

This may sound hard to do but can you just focus on an hour by hour or a minute by minute and promise yourself you won't smoke for just that time frame. For me in my early days my nights were awful and I would tell myself that I would not smoke that night but I wouldn't make any promises for the morning. Well, when the morning came I felt refreshed and was better able to make a committment not to smoke for that day. So in essense, take your quit minute by minute, hour by hour, and then day by day. A long string of days before you know it will be a year and beyond. Also, affirmations like telling yourself, "Smoking is not an Option," over and over may help.

Have you identified the source of your craves? When using a NRT it is recommended to use as directed so if you've gotten off too soon it could be causing the anguish. However I think you've been off the patch long enough to just stay off of it? If you are going back and forth with wearing it though, it will cause more of a problem. I've been there and done that. Just what ever you do don't smoke. Punch some pillows for anger or do whatever else you can think of that will help you.

Blessings,
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: July 21, 2006 7:05 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Sammie,

I was typing my response right before you responded. I'm a slow typer. I'm glad you feel better.

Blessings,
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: July 21, 2006 8:11 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

well, i was trying to reply, but then a thunderstorm came through and knocked the power out...

first of all, pam's right: of course you want to smoke; you're an addict. there will be times for the rest of your life when you want to smoke. but as long as you keep making the right choice whenever those times come up, they'll get fewer and further between, until you can hardly remember the last time you had a crave (like me).

of course (based on your second post), you've already figured this out, but you need to change your mind about it being frustrating; that road leads to relapse. you just have to accept that addiction is permanent, and get on with your life as a recovering addict. as patricia allison says in her excellent book, "hooked but not helpless", "i'd rather be an ex-smoker with an occasional desire to smoke than a smoker with a constant desire to quit".

hang in there, sammie; the ride smooths out, if you let it.
_________________

keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: July 21, 2006 9:24 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

....good job Sammie...you did several things right...you posted, you distracted yourself with a task, recognized the lies of old Laughing Demon , walked away from a temptation, and most important...you didn't smoke!
Be proud of yourself...

I'd love to tell you that it will stop...but it won't...but with time you can turn down the volume on the demand for nicotine and expect it to occur much less frequently! So...keep saying NO - one day at a time!
_________________

Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
swaneem



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1298
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: July 21, 2006 11:58 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

We've all said it....we're all addicts....IT WILL GET EASIER.

Don't ever look back.

Donna
_________________

Just when the caterpillar thought his world was
coming to an end..........God made him a
BUTTERFLY.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: July 22, 2006 1:01 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sammie, eveyone has said it well! Scream, throw things, etc. but do not smoke. btw: After I broke a lot of dishes, and had to sweep up glass, I confined byself to things that would not break.....I didn't want the dog to cut his foot.

It feels like there is no end, but there is....after you get through these things, comes the good part, where you feel so good. I have never felt better in my life.....I can see, smell, and sensually enjoy life now! You will, too!

There is something in whyquit.com about "Taking Care of Your Quit". I will try to find it later and post it.

I sent you 1 Pm tonight and will send more tomorrow.

You are good people, and such a delight to talk with!! DO NOT SMOKE!!

Love and hugs and hugs and hugs! Very Happy
_________________

Margaret
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: July 22, 2006 1:32 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sammie, here is the article about taking care of your quit from Whyquit.com. It is rather long so if you feel like reading it, do, but if not, do what is best for you. Sometimes in the early stages of the Quit, I didn't have enough patience to read stuff. Later, though, it was helpful. Here it is: (btw: my hardest thing was "The Perfect Excuse". but I made it! Whew!)

Quote:
Caring for Our Recovery


byJohn R. Polito
Nicotine Cessation Counselor
The recovered alcoholic, the heroin addict, the nicotine addict, deep down each knows the "Law of Addiction." They’ve heard it over and over again. Just one sip, one tiny fix, or one little puff of nicotine, just once, that's all it takes and the addict is back! They know that either immediately or in a short period of time they'll once again be slaves to their old level of drug use or greater. We know the Law of Addiction so why do we break it?

There are three primary factors associated with relapse: (1) rewriting the law of addiction; (2) an excuse; and (3) a vague memory. It doesn’t matter if it happens within two hours, two days, two weeks, two months, two years, or twenty, the factors remain the same and apply to all of us. Rewriting the law of addiction is easy and you don’t need a pencil, paper or computer to do it.


Amending the Law of Addition


“Just one puff” and then “do not pass go, do not collect $200, but go directly to the addict’s prison and surrender your freedom for good.” It isn’t that the recovering nicotine addict doesn’t know or believe the law of addiction because we do. It’s just that we begin to believe that we’re the exception. We convince ourselves that we’re stronger and smarter than those who discovered the law, and wiser than all addicts who came before us. We amend the law. We put ourselves above it. “Just one, it’ll be ok, I can handle it, I'm stronger than the others, a little reward, it's been a while, I’ve earned it.”

I’m sorry. As soon as such thoughts begin infecting the mind they tend to start feeding on themselves and in all likelihood your body's period of healing and freedom is over. Your dreams and hard work are all being thrown into a dirty toilet that one puff of nicotine is about to flush.

Instead of saying that you can handle“ just one ,” a truthful statement would have been “I can handle them all, give them all back to me, my entire addiction, all the ashtrays, the coughs, the stink, the endless stream of 4,000 plus deadly chemicals that come with each puff (including 43 known cancer causing agents), the constant gradual destruction of every cell in my lungs and the gradual clogging and hardening of every blood vessel in my body, the 50/50 chance of killing myself at least 14 years early, all the money it will cost me to stay enslaved for years and years to come (together with massive future price increases designed to get me to quit), the growing social pressures that will make me feel even more like an outcast, I want it all back, all of it!”

It’s far easier for the junkie mind to create a one puff or one cigarette exception to the “law” than admit the truth. A one pack a day addiction is 7,300 cigarettes a year. Don’t picture smoking just one. Instead, picture yourself sticking at least a year's supply into your mouth all at once. Try fitting them all into your mouth because in truth that's exactly where they'll be going, year after year after year. “To thine own self be true.” You deserve the truth - you paid the price - you earned it.


The Perfect Excuse


The excuse can be anything. Usually the addict waits for that great excuse to come along, but some get tired of waiting and any old excuse will do. Even joy! A reunion with an old smoking buddy, a few drinks with friends, a wedding, a graduation, or even a baby’s birth and a free nicotine laden cigar, or trying a harmless looking new nicotine delivery device like the 27 flavors of suckers, the straw, lozenges, candy or even nicotine water or soda, why not! But joyful or even stupid nicotine relapse is harder to explain to yourself and to those you love.

The smart nicotine addict waits for the great excuse, the one that we know we can sell to ourselves and others. As sick as it may sound, the easiest to sell and the best of all is the death of a loved one. Although everyone we love is destined to die and it will happen sooner or later, for the reformed addict it’s the perfect excuse for relapse. I mean, who can blame us for ingesting highly addictive drugs into our bodies upon our mother’s death. Anyone who does would have to be extremely insensitive or totally heartless! Right? Losing a job, the end of a relationship, serious illness, disease or financial problems are all great excuses too - it’s drug time again! The addict is back!


Lost Memories


But an excuse doesn’t work alone. It needs help. Failing memories of “why” we were willing to put ourselves through the anxieties and emotion of physical withdrawal, and weeks and weeks of psychological adjustment in order to break free, breathe fatal life into any excuse. Most of us failed to keep a detailed record of why we commenced recovery or what it was like. Instead, we are forced to rely upon our memory to accurately and vividly preserve the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But now, the memory in which we placed all our trust has failed us.

It isn’t that your memory is bad, faulty or doing anything wrong. In fact, it’s working as it should to preserve in as much detail as possible the joyful events of life, while forgetting, as quickly as possible, all the pain and anguish that we’ve felt, including our disdain for the addict's life we lived. To have our brains do otherwise would make life inside our minds unbearable. If women were forced to remember the true agony and intense pain of childbirth, most would have just one. We are each blessed with the gift to forget.

So how does the reformed nicotine addict who failed to keep accurate records of their journey revive their passion for freedom and recall liberty's price? If we forget the past, are we destined to repeat it? Not necessarily. It doesn’t have to be. But just as any loving relationship needs nourishment to flourish, we can never take our recovery for granted or the flame will eventually die and the fire will go out. We have to want to protect this glory until the day we die. We have to turn that "want" into action. If we do, we win. If not, our fate may be up in the air with serious risk of relapse followed by crippling disease or even a very early grave.

Whether it’s daily, weekly or monthly, our recovery needs care. If you don’t have a detailed log to regularly review when faced with adversity, upon each anniversary of your quit or at each birthday, do your best to create one now. Talk to those still smoking and ask for help in revitalizing your memories. Encourage them to be as truthful as possible. Although they may look like they’re enjoying their addiction to smoking nicotine, the primary joy they get is in keeping their body’s blood serum nicotine level within the comfort zone, so as to avoid the onset of the anxieties and craves of early withdrawal. Show them your pen and paper and invite them to help you create your list. You may even cause a spark in them. Be kind and sincere. It wasn't long ago that those were our shoes.

Also, try envisioning the first week. What was it like? Can you still feel the powerful craves as your body begged and cried to be fed? Can you still feel the pain? Do you see yourself not being able to concentrate, having difficulty sleeping, feeling depressed, angry, irritable, frustrated, restless, with tremendous anxiety, a foggy mind, sweating palms, rapidly cycling emotions, irrational thinking, emotional outbursts or even the shakes? Do you remember these things? Do you remember the price you paid for freedom? Do you remember why you were willing to pay it?

If you have access to a computer, you won't need a smoker’s help or even to recall the early days of your own journey. You can go on-line to scores of smoking cessation support groups and find thousands of battles being fought, hear tons of cries and watch hundreds struggling for survival as they cling to the promise of the rich sense of inner calmness, quiet and comfort that lies beyond. Visit as often as possible. Make a few posts to those in need. The most important thing you can tell them is the truth about why you are there. Tell them how comfortable and complacent you've become. It's what they yearn to hear! Many smoked their entire adult life and have a difficult time believing that withdrawal isn't permanent. Fear of the unknown is frightening. Help them and in doing so help yourself.

If you find yourself attempting to rewrite the law of addiction, stop, think, remember, read, revisit, revive and give to others, but most important, be honest with you. Terrible and emotional events will happen in each of our lives - such is life. Adding full-blown nicotine relapse to any situation won’t fix, correct or undo your underlying concern. In your mind, plan for disaster today. How will you cope and keep your healing alive should the person you love most in this world suddenly die? What will you do?

Remember, we've only traded places with our chemical dependency and the key to the cell is one puff of nicotine. As long as we stay on this side of the bars, we are the jailors and our dependency the prisoner. We only have two choices. We can complete this temporary period of adjustment and enjoy comfortable probation for life or we can smoke nicotine, relapse, and intentionally inflict cruel and unusual punishment upon these innocent bodies for the remainder of their life, together with inviting a 50/50 chance that you'll be putting yourself to death. If the first choice sounds better - comfortable lifetime probation - then we each need only follow one simple rule - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!


Breathe deep, hug hard, live long!

John

© WhyQuit.Com 2001

_________________

Margaret
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: July 22, 2006 9:22 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sammie, looks like people came and encouraged you. That's what this site is all about.

You going to have moments where you could tear someones head off, litarly(sp?)

Then you have the calm, peaceful, "I feel good moments". Proud of what your doing moments. Getting your real life back. What a great feeling.
Just spit ole' Laughing Demon out!!!!

It really does get easier. Its a renewing of ones mind. YOur transforming into a new person. A person with a free spirt!

You keep posting, and yelling, whatever it takes!!

Your doing great!

God Bless

Love, Londa
_________________

My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
justtheprincess



Quit Date:
December 1, 2013

Posts: 162
Location: San Diego

PostPosted: July 22, 2006 10:31 PM    Post subject: Hi Sammie Reply with quote

I am glad you came here to post instead of going out for that smoke. The smoke will not help you, it will just add to your problems. Play the tape all the way through. Not through to that point where your addiction is satisfied, but beyond that point where you feel pitiful and imcomprehensible demoralization because you gave in to this insidious addiction. Play it through to how you feel the day AFTER you took that puff. You can do this. Hang in there and NEVER take another puff. Love, Sandi
_________________

YOU are the only YOU YOU have. Take care of YOU!

~ Love, Sandi
One day at a time
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Yahoo Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > and rants All times are GMT - 4 Hours
Goto page 1, 2  Next
Page 1 of 2

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

quit smoking support
woofmang dot com