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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt
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Lori



Quit Date:
March 18, 2006

Posts: 521
Location: Pennsylvania, USA

PostPosted: August 30, 2006 1:59 PM    Post subject: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt Reply with quote

I was just asked by a well-meaning coworker if I am pregnant. Shocked The answer of course is, “no.” The inference, “just getting fat.” Sigh, I felt as bad for her as I did for myself. She actually made a special trip to my office just to ask me if I were expecting. She was so excited about it and I can just imagine her humiliation when I said “no.” I tried to say it in as neutral a tone as possible. She didn’t offend me ... just shocked and hurt me.

I was not unaware of my weight. I weigh myself pretty regularly and I know I’ve gained 23 pounds since I quit. But it came on so fast that it hardly seemed real to me. I’ve been wearing lots of elastic, thanking heaven tunics are in style, and generally trying to avoid looking too hard in the mirror. In other words, living in a state of denial.

I had a weight problem as a child/teen. I lived in a pretty chaotic home (my dad was an alcoholic) and early on food proved to be a source of comfort to me. It was tough being overweight as a kid/teen. Some of those memories can bring tears to my eyes to this day ... Anyway, when I was 17, I finally managed to lose 30 pounds. It was like a different world opened up to me (similar to the non-smoking one I’m just beginning to discover) and I swore I would never, ever let myself gain a lot of weight again. For twenty years, I’ve kept that promise.

Until now. I’ve really been over-indulging lately. I can’t even kid myself that the cause is the metabolic slowdown ex-smokers experience. For the first 6-8 weeks of my quit, I didn’t gain a pound. I ate normally and exercised regularly. Then the depression settled in and I turned to my old childhood comforts – sugary treats, snacking, absent-minded eating ... The exercise has been more sporadic, too.

And here I am, 23 pounds later. Part of me wants to scream, “It’s not fair!!! I just jumped over one of the greatest hurdles I’ve ever faced and you’re telling me that now I have to go back and re-jump one I cleared long ago??!!” But of course, no one put either of those hurdles in front of me but me. And I don’t have to jump either one if I choose not to.

Aw dang it, there I go again trying to be all reasonable ... like if I find the right logic, I can just think the problem away. Choosing your perspective can play an important role in problem-solving, but so can honoring your feelings, and I often neglect that step. Right now, my pride is wounded. I’m frustrated with myself. I’m hurt and ashamed.

I need to go lick my wound for a while before I decide if I’m ready for yet another challenge.
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Free



Quit Date:
May 12, 2006

Posts: 826
Location: USA

PostPosted: August 30, 2006 3:23 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't be ashamed of yourself Lori. Please don't be ashamed of yourself. I too gained weight when I first quit. I gained 35 pounds in the first 2 months. I know I used food to help me quit smoking. But see that is just it ... "I KNOW that I used food". That right there is reason to celebrate! Be happy that you are aware of what you did or are doing. Because it is that awareness that can motivate you to do something about it. I've lost 10 pounds of that 35 pds. And I know the rest will come off to. I know what I have to do and I just do it. No thinking about it ... just do it and get on with life. You can do it Lori! You can!

If you want, I can help you flush that pity pot.
_________________

Become addicted to constant and never ending self improvement.

The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.

Realize that true happiness lies within you.
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: August 30, 2006 3:41 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

HI Lori. That's why around here, we celebrate the 9 month luniversary as "giving birth" to a quit. Sometimes it does seem like you've grown an extra appendage or something.

Well,what to do about Lori's "baby" We can accept it, name it, and adopt it. Or, we can let it slowly starve itself into obliviion.

Either way, you are better off without smoking. So, stop feeling bad, and lets all have some cyber CAKE!


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FIVE + years of freedom and loving it!
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Free



Quit Date:
May 12, 2006

Posts: 826
Location: USA

PostPosted: August 30, 2006 4:45 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just love cyber cake!!! No calories! It is absolutely glorious!!!
_________________

Become addicted to constant and never ending self improvement.

The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.

Realize that true happiness lies within you.
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Deb



Quit Date:
February 5, 2010

Posts: 967
Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)

PostPosted: August 30, 2006 4:52 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lori,

Do not worry about the weight. You have accomplished a major task and weight gain is very reasonable. You should be proud of yourself for kicking old nic out of your life. Very Happy A few extra pounds won't kill you but, Laughing Demon will. Hey, you should of told the Girl that yes, you were pregnant Wink and then consider all the baby gifts that you recieve as one hard earned reward. Laughing Laughing

Deal with one issue at a time. One thing I know for sure, if you could give up the smokes, you can do anything...........give yourself some time as your body is going through changes.

Your doing amazing, keep up the great quit. Now, what about that cake?

Deb
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: August 30, 2006 5:19 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

(((lori)))
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: August 30, 2006 8:42 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

From the Aug when I quit till the February I'd gained 30 lbs by May I was back to normal. What goes on quick comes off quick. Go sign up at www.fitday.com for the free stuff it will help you take back control. Be proud of your quit.
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I'm a NON-SMOKER thanks to everyone here
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swaneem



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1298
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: August 30, 2006 10:25 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't feel bad, Lori......and you're certainly NOT alone in this. For over 50 years I never so much as gained a lb....and have always been a big sweet eater. Diet...NO...never had to...don't even know how.

Then...my accident last year...3 months in a wheelchair and quitting smoking...BAM...40 lbs in 3 months. That was a year ago and it STILL hasn't come off. I've never been a big eater and now am really watching things to no avail. Have even joined a gym.

A few weeks ago someone asked me when I was expecting. Shocked

Somehow..we'll lose the weight.....and really it's nothing compared to what we've accomplished. Smile

Donna
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Just when the caterpillar thought his world was
coming to an end..........God made him a
BUTTERFLY.
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marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: August 31, 2006 1:02 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Man, oh man, did I get pissed off at that co-worker, whoever she was!! That little witch has probably just been waiting for a long time to find SOMETHING nasty to say. I really, really dislike women like this. Although I have never met you, I now know one thing about you. You are a beautiful woman.....probably "movie-star beautiful," and she is jealous out of her mind.

I see this as 2 separate issues myself. One is that she is envious of your Quit (does she just happen to smoke?), and another is that she is jealous of you period. Well, I already said that. But she is.

Don't beat up on yourself.....beat up on her. You are healthy, soon to be slender again, and further have a kind personality! She has nothing.

Speaking of comforts, here are a few (to use in stead of cake, not that I don't like cake Laughing ): silk, perfume, flowers, bath oil, boots, hats, lingerie, make-up, massages, manicures, pedicures, and all kinds of things for your house or apartment (hmmm....you might know those better than me, I haven't found my niche in home-decorating, but not because I'm not good, you understand, just busy elsewhere Laughing ).

Anyway, it won't take more than a month or 2 to lose this weight (but don't do it too fast, or you will wrinkle, and I am serious about that), whereas cigarettes can kill you that fast.....and then where are you?..... Rolling Eyes

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You've already done the hard part-----you quit smoking!
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Margaret
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shevie



Quit Date:
May 23, 2005

Posts: 413
Location: Grants Pass, OR, USA

PostPosted: August 31, 2006 1:06 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

From what I've seen on the site I spent my first year, most people (male and female) gain the first six months, no matter how they eat or excercise.

Some gain a little, some a lot. The median seems to be around 30 - 40 lbs, but that is just my gut guessing, there is no actual data to back it up. Of course, there's always the oddball that loses and totally blows the curve!

Over the next 6 months, if the quitter is even moderately trying, the weight seems to come off. Again, not everyone conforms to this, but it is what I've seen over and over again.

Getting your quit behind you is first priority. Weight can wait. (gee, that just happened out like that)

Keep up the good quit, Lori.
Shevie
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If you study something in the right light, how can there be any darkness? Dave Gardner

Quit date: May 23, 2005
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: August 31, 2006 7:12 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll weigh in on the weight issue...give it some time and then get the eating under control... if you can quit smoking you can lose the weight. Try to pay attention and make better choices and small changes! But don't put your quit at risk!!

I started weight watchers about nine months after I quit and I learned about healthy eating - not 'dieting'! Its been a fairly steady weight loss since then...things are slowing down a bit as I'm working on the last 20 pounds...total weight loss 113 pounds since March 2005....
one fight at a time!!
Keep a positive thought...and make healthy choices!
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Backfist



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 340
Location: Rome, Georgia

PostPosted: August 31, 2006 7:27 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good morning, Lori! Hope you are feeling better today. Hang in there; you are going to be fine. Remember that quitting smoking is actually a Big Deal and it takes time to learn to live with a Big Deal!

Practice being patient with yourself and remember that one of the best remedies for the blues is some good ole fun! I have found making time for good friends, family, and simple fun works wonders for my overall attitude!

Hang in there, hon. It's not always an easy road, but it sure is worth it!

Dekie
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Lori



Quit Date:
March 18, 2006

Posts: 521
Location: Pennsylvania, USA

PostPosted: August 31, 2006 8:54 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote



This place is just fantastic. Y'all are angels, I tell ya, ANGELS! Your responses brought tears to my eyes -- tears of happiness. You are absolutely right. There is no need to get down on myself when I can take pride in what I've accomplished. And I really AM proud of quitting. It is the best thing I ever did for myself.

And for the record, I am NOT going to use this as an excuse to start smoking again. I know that smoking is no magic cure for weight loss. If it were, I would have lost that 30 pounds 3 years earlier, because that's when I started smoking. Smoking didn't help me lose weight. I helped me lose weight.

No, that issue isn't even on the table. Thanks to all of you, I now see the real issue for what it is:

Am I going to hide in the darkness feeling sorry for myself for gaining some weight or am I going to claim my moment in the sun and stand proud as the Freedom Fighter I am?

I choose to be proud. Thanks you guys. I honestly would not have seen that without you!!

Ok, I'm off to check out fitday.com.

With love and gratitude,
Lori

(PS Kevin, thanks for the super-cool new smileys!)
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Deb



Quit Date:
February 5, 2010

Posts: 967
Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)

PostPosted: August 31, 2006 8:59 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

WTG, Lori

Now enjoy your quit!! Very Happy

Deb
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Free



Quit Date:
May 12, 2006

Posts: 826
Location: USA

PostPosted: August 31, 2006 10:04 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm so happy to see you are feeling better today Lori. *bunch of cyberhugs being sent your way*

Fondly,
Free
_________________

Become addicted to constant and never ending self improvement.

The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.

Realize that true happiness lies within you.
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