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shevie



Quit Date:
May 23, 2005

Posts: 413
Location: Grants Pass, OR, USA

PostPosted: September 27, 2006 2:35 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glad it helped, Rusty. Very Happy

Shevie
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If you study something in the right light, how can there be any darkness? Dave Gardner

Quit date: May 23, 2005
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Free



Quit Date:
May 12, 2006

Posts: 826
Location: USA

PostPosted: September 27, 2006 10:27 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote



Smiling ear to ear knowing you are feeling better Rusty!

Fondly,
Free
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Become addicted to constant and never ending self improvement.

The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.

Realize that true happiness lies within you.
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Luna



Quit Date:
April 15, 2005

Posts: 3

PostPosted: September 29, 2006 3:20 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sitting around quietly watching the advice. I need to take it myself - I am 25 pounds heavier than when I quit. I hate it, hate my body image, hate the lethargy. But so far I haven't hated it enough to change it. Keep wishing there was a gym on this little island or a pool or something that would make it easier. Nothing I fear, is going to make this easier. Sigh Sad Crying or Very sad I think i have a food addiction, at least at parties or when I go out. I don't eat sugar at home, but if it is in sight.....I even looked for a fat camp, but didn't find anything reasonably priced. I am discouraged but I don't feel like I have a right to whine, because I am not really doing very much productive to solve the problem. This is hard to admit. Now I am in tears - will go to bed. Gone this weekend. Maybe a miracle will happen by Monday. This is sooo not me - waiting passively for something to "happen". UGH
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: September 29, 2006 7:20 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Focusing on what you could do and were willing to push yourself to do - instead of seeing just the things you COULDN'T do or DIDN'T do makes a big difference. Little changes are a great place to start!
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Free



Quit Date:
May 12, 2006

Posts: 826
Location: USA

PostPosted: September 29, 2006 10:16 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sometimes the 'waiting passively' is a step towards action. Don't be so hard on yourself Luna. When you are ready, you know you'll do something about those 25pds. Btw ... you can loose that in 3 months if you really put your mind to it.
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Become addicted to constant and never ending self improvement.

The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.

Realize that true happiness lies within you.
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Rusty



Quit Date:
December 13, 2004

Posts: 497
Location: North Florida

PostPosted: September 29, 2006 10:36 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Luna, my dear, I am so with you. I have been reading and re-reading the responses on this thread and I'm glad you are here to share this thread. We'll be the "Struggling for Motivation Sisters"!

Yesterday for some reason was Cake Day everywhere I went and I cannot pass. We had a retirement party at work -- 2 pieces. Last night we had an event for ESOL students at the library -- Ice Cream Cake and Cookies. Before Dinner. And then my Guatamalan student and his teeny little Mayan parents met us at a Mexican restaurant. You know what happened there...More food. Today I'm meeting my friend at a riverside restaurant for lunch. More food. This morning I was making a grocery list, asked the hub for help -- he says "You never make ham and cheese casseroles, you never make Mexican lasagna, get lots of cheese. Get ham. Get cake." ARGHHHHHHHH.

I think I have to join a non-eating convent.

I am going to waddle my way through the 5K breast cancer walk on Sunday. But guess what? My team is meeting at a barbeque restaurant for lunch before the walk.

We can fight this thing. Let's move to the jungle together. No meat and cheese there.

Love you all,

Rusty
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The Buddha says: Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
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RiverdaleMan



Quit Date:
February 17, 2006

Posts: 59
Location: Toronto

PostPosted: September 29, 2006 12:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello. Free has a point. I wasn't going to respond and here I am with my two bits.

When I quit in 2003 for 3 months I gained almost 50 pounds. I am a little guy and that 50 pounds really showed and it broke my heart and I kept on eating all the chocolate I could find and started smoking to boot. That 50 pounds stayed on until I quit again. I swim and swim and swim I have dropped 25 and here I sit. I have been this weight since May. None of it is coming off. I know I need to do and add a different routine. Belly work, sit ups and ab work. I might have more come off. I don't know. My diet is pretty good and I know that I can only eat out a few times a week and not eat out 75 or 80 percent of the time.

What am I saying. Well, here goes. The weight came off when I started to direct the physical activity and aim it at weight lose, the weight came off when I took control over what I was eating. Point. I used the same techniques as quitting. Kinder self talk. Looking at what I have done, not what I have not. Acknowledging myself even for the little time things. Making sure I get outside (fresh air), be in the sunlight, take pleasure in the physical activity and take pleasure and love every piece of food I put into my mouth. No alcohol, well very little perhaps a drink every two weeks.

Stay away from repressing my feelings about anything. For me those feelings are like a girdle on my hips and a cloak around my belly they just sit there. Deal constructively with my anger, my sadness and my fears. The only thing that snags me right now is my dog and she is getting old. We have to carry here up and down stairs and in and out of the house. She has been mauled twice this summer and it is taking her a long time to heal. Sad right now thinking about her and all she has given my life and I can't stay there I have to constantly move to the uplifting and the pleasurable thoughts.

What motivates me? Life, the love and wonderful relationship I have. The love and blossoming that I have in my work and the love and care I have and feel for my family and friends and those who are close in my life. We are coming really close to Canadian Thanksgiving and I have to constantly be looking to what I cherish and am grateful for in my life. That motivates me.

Sorry I thought this would be a short little response and here it is a long epistle. So: self talk, gratitute and commitment, thats it.

Thanks for reading, thanks for being on the voyage. Thanks for being here. I am sad and sorry that the journey is sometimes painful and below all that pain I know from past experience there is life and love.

Rusty I hope you celebrate life and love the whole time you are on that walk on Sunday.

Phillip
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Luna



Quit Date:
April 15, 2005

Posts: 3

PostPosted: September 29, 2006 3:22 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanx for the responses and thanx for the "joining" mentality, Rusty. I really did not want to hijack your thread for myself...and yet I could identify sooo much. We have company and will be gone part of this weekend - interesting, the company is fat, and that makes me feel better. How sick is that???

I know what I did to quit smoking. I have the strength and the tools. And I needed to give up the idea that not smoking was depriving myself. Now I have to do the same with food. I LOVE EATING. I love eating ALOT! I love rich foods drizzled in olive oil and butter. I love nuts. I love cheese. I love the feeling of being really really full. Need to change that. Why are eight cookies off a plate at a potluck better than one or two? I of course don't take them all at once. I am a closet eater just like I was a closet smoker. UGH.
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Rusty



Quit Date:
December 13, 2004

Posts: 497
Location: North Florida

PostPosted: September 29, 2006 5:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not a hijack, Luna...a "joining" as you said. Phillip, you are so wonderful with your words.

I must tell you about my day. My friend Donna has terminal cancer...she is still getting around, out and about, busy tending to all the things she must tend to. I met her for lunch at a little riverside joint...we ate fried grouper sandwiches, coleslaw, sweet tea. Then we went to a little park on the river and chatted for a while. As we were looking at the river, Donna said, "You know, Rusty, I have lived on or near this river all my life and I have never seen a manatee. All my friends have seen them but I never have." Within two minutes, TWO manatees showed themselves in the river! It was a most wonderful thing. Donna cried.

I have to remember what a treasure is. I have to make myself understand what "important" means. If we knew we were going to die next week, would we deny ourselves that olive oil, that cheese, that chocolate? No, we wouldn't and we don't have to now. But we can figure out how to eat one piece of cake and be grateful, or two cookies and be grateful, and love those two cookies. Can't we??? Or am I rationalizing?

The other day I was walking on the bike trail. The weather was magnificent. I was so happy and not winded at all. Just for a moment, I almost grasped the thought that it isn't the pounds that matter. It's my health that matters. It isn't the size that matters. It's whether I can breathe and move that matters. The fat rolls don't matter. "I love me" matters. So I felt that just for a moment. It went away but I remember how that felt.

Love,

Rusty
_________________

The Buddha says: Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: September 29, 2006 9:40 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rusty,

My dear friend, think back in time. To almost a year ago exactly. Someone who was frustrated with who they were, unable to see the good in anything, unsatisfied with every aspect of life, and so depressed and desperate they didn't know what to do. Remember?

YOU taught me to believe in myself. YOU reminded me that I am a child of God. YOU showed me how to see the positive side of things. YOU taught me to believe in myself. YOU helped me to realize what was really important. YOU have encouraged me to follow my heart. All those things YOU taught me have changed my life.

YOU are a dear person, a good friend, and there is a lot to love about you. So after you list all the things that aren't going right and all the things that don't please you; go back and find the good in all of it. There is a lot of good in YOU Rusty. I thank God for you and the role you have played in my life. I would meet you at Pizza Hutt and share a supreme pizza with you anytime I possibly could. It is the friendship that matters and what we do in life. They are what make us who we are, not how we look or what we eat.
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jrduffis



Quit Date:
February 13, 2005

Posts: 43
Location: Randleman, NC

PostPosted: September 30, 2006 7:50 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi everyone. While reading your post Rusty and all the replies I could not help but remember a post from a 5 year + quitter about slumps. I think that we all face life each and every day with a different attitude from the day before. Some days are great and others even greater, it all depends on our attitudes and our approach to life itself. I want to share this with the group and hope that it gives some meaning:

" Talk about slumps

I mean let’s face it…..they seem to happen to a LOT of us.

You get to that point in your quit where it just seems like …….yeah…..so I quit smoking…..so how come I don’t feel like setting off fireworks? Isn’t that what quitting is supposed to feel like?…..isn’t that what everybody else is getting out of THEIR quit?

Ummmm….well let’s see…….

Were you setting off fireworks every day that you WERE smoking?

Or did some days just feel blech……no matter how much you tried.

Hmmmmm….now that I think about it………………..

It might SEEM like everybody’s having a celebration each and everyday they stay quit….lord knows we make enough racket about anny’s and stuff in here….and rightly so……

…but the reality is…….life is still going on all around us…..and not everything is about our quitting smoking…..some days we’d probably just as soon hide under the covers (not that the world will let us)……

….but no matter how BLECH the day is?

If you lit up it would be BLECHIER. (cool word huh….I think I just invented it….grin)

If you find yourself thinking things like “it’s this quit that’s wearing me down”……you might want to ask yourself how something that is improving your health can be wearing you down.

It’s MORE likely that you’re continuing to fantasize that smoking will “cure” you is what’s making this harder.

Remember smoking for what it really WAS…….NOT for what its trying to trick you into thinking.

Focus on what you are gaining…..NOT on what you THINK you are losing.

In other words…….don’t BLAME your quit for your mood……….it’s just another one of those little traps that we fall into sometimes. (and later regret)

Moods come and go…..life is up and down….these things happened BEFORE you quit and they will very likely happen after you quit.

But take my word for it………there’s a LOT more to be said for going through life as a non-smoker.

Am I setting off fireworks today?

Nope………but I sure am enjoying the fact that my feet aren’t feeling so numb that I have to try and get the circulation going in them before I get out of my bed. As well as the fact that I’m about to put in my 30 minute work out that I know start everyday with…….and I am ABLE to this.

I don’t need fireworks.

But I SURE do need to breathe. "

Bob
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JR
I'd rather be over the hill than under it
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: September 30, 2006 8:52 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

good post, bob - life will be what life will be, regardless of whether or not we accept that simple truth. i think one of the reasons many (if not most) smokers continue to smoke is that the smokescreen masks a lot of what they perceive as the "unpleasantness" of life, and what they don't realize is that the unpleasantness is still there, behind the mask, regardless of whether or not they choose to look at it.

when we quit, we come out from behind the smokescreen, and the people, places, and situations that we perceive as unpleasant are really obvious to us, and many of us make the false assumption that quitting = unpleasantness. the reality is that quitting = clarity, and that scares a lot of people so much that they run back behind the smokescreen to avoid it.
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: September 30, 2006 8:56 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

jrduffis wrote:




You get to that point in your quit where it just seems like …….yeah…..so I quit smoking…..so how come I don’t feel like setting off fireworks? Isn’t that what quitting is supposed to feel like?…..isn’t that what everybody else is getting out of THEIR quit?

Bob


This is what I get out of my QUIT:
I believe there comes a day when we let go that we are just QUIT and it never comes up again unless you are helping other's here. I can honestly say I never think of it anymore when I'm out and most of my friends have seemed to forgotten I ever smoked. That's a good thing by the way as I've even managed to escape by association. If the world appears to have you by the short hairs(sorry girls) smoking will not help you, it surely won't help your friend nor will it help anyone other than the sellers. Sometimes all around us is chaos and that sucks but that's when we need to go the extra distance and give that little bit more even though there appears to be nothing left to give. Punishing yourself by smoking is a retreat away from reality it's where for years we all pretended we were going to be the invincible one that it would not touch us. The chances are the fetal position was our comfort zone prior to a cig. It's all a matter of finding a comfortable spot where you feel untouchable. If you look it is there(hint) and it is not a cig. IMO of course. Wink
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Rusty



Quit Date:
December 13, 2004

Posts: 497
Location: North Florida

PostPosted: September 30, 2006 9:14 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you so much, Lady, Duffis, Kevin and Melody. I want to assure you that my quit is not in jeopardy. No, I am quit....or let me borrow a phrase...I am born again. No doubt there.

Like Luna, I think I am feeling disappointed that I was able to quit smoking and nearly 2 years later I haven't been able to change some other aspects of my life. This may be something I have to learn to live with, to learn to love about myself, or that I will continue to struggle with. Somedays I just get tired of struggling about it.

Today I'm putting it aside. I have lots to do...bills to pay, reading and a paper to write, and gearing up for my 5K tomorrow. So today I will set aside the internalizing and just be.

Thanks!

Rusty Smile
_________________

The Buddha says: Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
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Free



Quit Date:
May 12, 2006

Posts: 826
Location: USA

PostPosted: September 30, 2006 10:54 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Might I suggest, when you are ready of course Rusty, to immerse yourself in education ... just like we all did when we quit. Get books on exercise, diet, the body, our metabolism, inspirational reading regarding weight loss. I find if I immerse myself in something for a while it helps me to 'make it happen'. The knowledge inspires me.

Fondly,
Free
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Become addicted to constant and never ending self improvement.

The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.

Realize that true happiness lies within you.
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