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texas2step



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 793
Location: Texas

PostPosted: February 13, 2007 6:55 PM    Post subject: Good advice Reply with quote

Well Lady, you have gotten a wealth of good advice and love sent your way. Slaying the dragon or at least coming to terms with him is a huge stumbling block for lots of people. None of us is immune to inner pain. To slay my own personal dragon when he raises his ugly head I have found a great deal of peace lies within my own mind. To conquer the bad sad feelings I get - for me anyway - takes humor and patience. I say humor because you need badly to laugh - really laugh so that it shakes and tickles the bottoms of your feet. Not easy to do I know, but finding humor can help save your sanity. It surely does mine. So here's my offering of suggestion...

Rent a comedy movie, or go to a park and watch what funny things people do just being themselves, get someone to tell you every joke they know, any way you can find any bit of "humor" do it. Even if you have to fake laughing - stand in front of a mirror and do it. You'll find that even fake laughing will soon set off real laughing at yourself - which is what you could use a dose of. Laughter will bring a happy feeling and it will release chemicals your body needs right now. Seek some things that make you feel silly and laugh as often as you can. I used to think it was baloney and that making myself laugh was just some kind of strange joke but it's real. Laugh even if you feel like crying and the laugh sounds fake to your ears. And smile - hard too.... Do it in front of a mirror for best effect to get your real laugh started. It works, I promise. Laughing

My husband once told me to put a broken figurine I was trying to restore in a drawer - to "conquer it" - which is what Kevin is doing with writing feelings and putting them away in envelopes in a way. Sometimes that's what it takes - putting aside or casting out the demon.

Sending more strength to you Lady - hang in there - you have so much to offer the rest of us here - look how far you have gone with your quit in spite of problems in your life! That is amazing in itself.

Take care
Texas
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Quit: 8/14/06
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: February 13, 2007 7:50 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi lady,

I like the writing whatever pops in your head idea...of course a very wise man told you about it. I feel if one keeps everything inside it just grows and seems to overwhelm but if your write it down or speak about it it does not seem as huge. You are wise to post your feelings and I hope you will feel better soon. Remember the dark days do get shorter and I hope your bright sunny days are just around the corner.
Hugs,
Kay
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: February 13, 2007 9:29 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for all your caring responses. You don't realize how much they help. Texas... your post alone was enough to make me smile.

I went to the counselor today. She is a great Christian counselor which is really important to me. She asked me why I have to complicate things so... I said I don't know and I wish I knew how to stop. She said if you were God looking at you what would you say about you? Wow. That is a lot to think about. Kind of reminds me of when I was a kid and we all saw that t-shirt that says "God don't make no junk".

I am starting Kevin's exercise tomorrow morning. I was also advised that the medication I am taking may not be the right thing for me. I am to have the Dr. call the counselor tomorrow to discuss that. Finally, I was advised to lower my goals and expectations of myself. That just because we plan something doesn't mean that it is going to happen and that down time is needed.

I really did feel better after the counseling. There is hope for me. I will just keep moving along. I thank you all for your replys. So many believe that you just quit smoking and life goes on. I don't think others realize how difficult moving on can be for those of us that really hid behind the smoke screen for many years. I am envious of those that just have a few bad weeks and move forward. I wish I knew how. I feel like I have fought every step of the way. Each day brings challenges of their own and the fight isn't always the same but it is a challenge. Yes, I have tough days and I don't know how to handle them but I will tell you that I would not trade this experience of being quit for anything in the world. I do not want to smoke. I just want to be comfortable.

Thanks again for your support.

A wise man told me that stopping smoking is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to quitting. (Thanks Kevin)

Lady
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
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Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: February 13, 2007 10:22 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smile
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keep choosing life!

kevin

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Hope



Quit Date:
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Posts: 346

PostPosted: February 14, 2007 4:49 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lady wrote:
You know, this is very serious for me. I am really struggling here. .


i hope you dont think i was being mean Lady, I was just trying to make you smile. Smile x
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Hope
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: February 14, 2007 10:50 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

No big deal Hope. You know how addicts are... We always seem to take things to the extreme.

Have a great day.
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Hope



Quit Date:
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Posts: 346

PostPosted: February 14, 2007 10:52 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

ah good. Smile

take care of you
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justtheprincess



Quit Date:
December 1, 2013

Posts: 162
Location: San Diego

PostPosted: February 14, 2007 4:54 PM    Post subject: A Change of Attitude Reply with quote

Hi. I don't believe we have met. I'm Sandi. I don't know if this will help you, but it sure helped me. Someone asked me if a group of me and my friends all put our problems in a hat and drew each other's problems, what that would feel like. I decided, after much consideration, that I would rather have mine. The reason I want mine is because even though my life has it's moments, I've spent my whole life training to be right where I am. It is my path, course, destiny, fate, whatever, that got me here. If I take on someone elses problems, I think I would feel totally inept and even worse off than I am now.
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~ Love, Sandi
One day at a time
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: February 14, 2007 4:57 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

The counselor called and talked to the Dr's nurse. The Dr. didn't call back so she asked me to call. I talked to the doctors nurse. She said that the Doctor hadn't had time to call the counselor back but that they did discuss me. I am on the medication that the Doctor wants me on. He doesn't want to change it and we can talk about it again in May.

I am so discouraged! I'm so frustrated. I'm so sick of being mental!

I quit! I fricken give up. I'll just smoke and then I won't feel like this anymore. I won't be crazy and I won't cry all the time and I wont' be lonely either! I'll go back to hiding! But I will be functional and sane!

I don't even want to pray about it anymore. What is the point? I'm a fricken crazy mental woman now!
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nailteach



Quit Date:
December 23, 2006

Posts: 71

PostPosted: February 14, 2007 5:51 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I quit! I fricken give up. I'll just smoke and then I won't feel like this anymore. I won't be crazy and I won't cry all the time and I wont' be lonely either! I'll go back to hiding! But I will be functional and sane!


Do you see an answer here in what you wrote? I don't. How in the world is smoking going to make all of his go away? Smoking does not fix anything, nothing at all. But it sure destroys a lot of us. Look at your quit date. Don't you think that relapsing after all this time is going to cause depression??? It's sure as hell not going to cure it. I'm no stranger to depression myself. I know how truly frustrating it can be. But I can't see how doing harm to oneself can improve anything. Give everyone some time, yourself, your counselor,your doctor and your meds. Try to have a little patience. And remember, nothing is so bad that smoking can't make it worse.

Quote:
I wont' be lonely either! I'll go back to hiding! But I will be functional and sane!


This makes no sense. How can you go into hiding and not be lonely? Is this functional and sane?

I don't have the answers. But I sure don't see them here either!
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jahunta



Quit Date:
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Posts: 1129
Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA

PostPosted: February 14, 2007 7:58 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lady,

If you quit now and pick up a smoke, you start the cycle over again. Do you want that? Right now? Really? You want to start over again with hell week, and feeling bad after all this progress? I don't believe it. You are going through a big rough patch right now, but if you give in, and quit, you're just back to square one. I just can't see how you could want that for yourself. But, as has always been the case at woofmang, IT'S YOUR CHOICE!

I'm truly, truly sorry you are going through this and with such difficulty and pain, and I will not try to say I know what you're going through, I do not. But I do believe that if you begin to smoke, give up your quit and quit trying to make things better, things aren't going to get better. I truly hope you find strength within you to continue on this path of freedom.

J
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
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Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: February 14, 2007 8:34 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

LLLady!!

You there? Did you pick up a cigarette? Girl, stop! Stop!!!! It is better to "just wait" instead of getting that pack and smoking. If nothing else, I know relapse (not proud of that), but please, please, believe me...it really isn't worth it. All those thoughts aren't true! YOU are NOT a crazy woman. You are a person who is "temporarily" going through a tough time. I know the thoughts are so real and so stressing, and it feels so hard and so lonely, and you just want to feel normal again...but smoking isn't it. It may make you feel ok because of the rush of dopmaine (spelling), but it doesn't last. The only thing that last in feeling good is working through the issues...and I know that's hard. It's hard to pray and believe God cares when everything seems so out of whack and impossible to cope. But He does...even when you can't feel Him there. Don't worry about praying...He hears your heart's cry without the words.

Lady...please, please don't smoke. Don't throw away a beautiful quit you have worked so hard to keep and maintain.

Love you and my heart is breaking for you. Wish I could just put my arms around you and just cry with you. Hang in there girl!

Love and Big Hug {{{{{{{Lady}}}}}}
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Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: February 14, 2007 9:45 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

No smoking. Just tons of tears. Another river.
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
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Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: February 14, 2007 9:52 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good! No smoking. It is better to cry that river than pick up a smoke.

Wish I knew some words that would make everything ok for you. But I don't. I'll be praying for you.

Just so glad you didn't throw away your quit!

Lady, I'll be praying that He gives you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Christ. This imparts His wisdom and understanding to you.

Big Hugs and Lot of Love
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Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: February 15, 2007 11:29 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lady,

I hear everything you are saying. When I read your post it felt like I could have said those very same things only you said them more coherent. If you knew my history you woud understand why I can relate and still feel the very same things you are feeling.

First off, take it from someone who has made the rounds with therapists. It is going to take you longer than from last November to any time soon to get where you expect to be. That is the norm for anyone in my support circle of friends who have been or or going through these things you speak about. As to how long, it's the same as with the quit, every one's duration in therapy is different. But I do know this, things just take time. Like one of my therapist told me that it is so easy to get impatient and for me to want to start earning money but the training I would need to do for a job that I am capable of doing just takes time to accomplish. I get impatient because my car is old and falling apart and without it I would be stuck as I am not on the bus line and even supposing I could catch the bus in my physical condition. I worry about being able to support myself after 3 years when my alimony runs out. I worry about supporting myself with the training I'm getting now which will not qualify me for pay good enough to keep me above water.

And just like with the quit, I find that educating myself for my situation helps me a great deal. Since I've already said enough about myself may I suggest you do some research on depression? Also what might help you is to join support groups with people who are going through the same thing. Helping the less fortunet can be very rewarding and helps with the lonilness.

And most important, love your self as number one after the Lord of course. For a long time I could not comprehend loving myself. I use to think though only egotiscal, self centered people, and selfish people loved themselves.

I hope you told your daughter how you felt. Please don't let her bring you down.
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Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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