quit smoking support @ woofmang.com
people helping people beat the addiction to nicotine
 
help support our communityDonate FAQFAQ SearchSearch RSS FeedRSS Feed MemberlistMemberlist RegisterRegister ProfileProfile Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages Log inLog in

No Mercy
Goto page 1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > and rants
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 12:51 PM    Post subject: No Mercy Reply with quote

Something happened this morning while I was in town. An extreme anger towards the addiction surfaced. I don't know if it was triggered by Londa's post about her brother, or reading my quit journal from a couple of years ago early this morning, or what...but I got so extremely ticked off at this addiction. I could spit nails. All I could think was the words "No Mercy"...no mercy towards this addiction, because it shows no mercy to it's victims...then I though of the dream I had and in it I felt no mercy towards the smoking. The anger passed as I shopped in Walmart, but a determination inside is still there...more like a pure hatred.

Finished shopping and headed home. On the way, stopped by the resoviour...to the little spot I like. Little Buddy was introduced to Grandma's quiet time by the water. We sat there together, and I drank a coffee I picked up in town. It was quiet, and the birds were singing and fluttering in the small stand of trees by the bank. The wind was brisk with a small chill, but it was great. The water lapped against the rocks from the small chop on the water. So peaceful and tranquil. And sat there so very grateful to be free. Life is way too precious to waste away on smoking.

Then, on a daily stuff note...as I opened the door at home, I was greeted by tiolet paper shredded all over the front room....Jena Exclamation ...I'm going to kill a schnauzer!!! Mad Laughing Laughing Laughing

Later Quit Buds...Keep those Quits!

Love Ya
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Doggygirl



Quit Date:
February 26, 2007

Posts: 788
Location: Joliet, IL

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 2:30 PM    Post subject: Re: No Mercy Reply with quote

Seabrez wrote:

Then, on a daily stuff note...as I opened the door at home, I was greeted by tiolet paper shredded all over the front room....Jena Exclamation ...I'm going to kill a schnauzer!!! Mad Laughing Laughing Laughing

Love Ya


Naw... My bet is that before bedtime, you will HUG your schnauzer and start closing your bathroom door!! Smile

Kidding aside, these revalations are so good, aren't they? I don't ever want to smoke again. I realize I will have craves where I *think* I want to, but I know I DON'T want to. I hope I can recall this feeling of strength that I have right now in my quit when I need it - I'm sure those times are comin' too.

Beth
_________________

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ~Francesca Reigler
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 2:42 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Beth...the dog is still living, for now Razz Yes, they are...amazing. I came back to the boards, because right now, I'm an emotional mess. Went to get gas for the rider, and as I was leaving the station, I just became so overwhelmed that I'm finally free and so grateful. Just broke down and started crying...so grateful. I'm still teary eyed. And my son is mowing and thank God for sunglasses when I got home.

It must be hormones, I don't know. I'm fine today...no stresses...and these extremes are just popping up out of nowhere. Matter of fact, today started out feeling great and motiviated. Anger and now, tears of joy....what the heck!

I just don't understand it...this quit has been so calm and I've not went through the rollercoaster ride like in previous quits....it's not been an emotional quit...till now.

Hugs
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Doggygirl



Quit Date:
February 26, 2007

Posts: 788
Location: Joliet, IL

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 3:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deb, JOY is an emotion too. I can only speak for me - so much that goes on early in the quit tends to be emotional in a negative sort of way - *missing* smoking, etc. But sometimes HAPPY emotions hit too.

Sounds to me like you might just be overwhelmed with JOY that you are quit now - and all that means in your life. If so, ball your eyes out if you want to, and embrace your ex-smoking life!!!

Whether my guess is good or not, enjoy your smoke free day!!! (and close your bathroom door!)

(((Deb)))

Beth
_________________

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ~Francesca Reigler


Last edited by Doggygirl on April 28, 2007 4:24 PM; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
texas2step



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 793
Location: Texas

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 3:45 PM    Post subject: I liked the closet.... Reply with quote

In the beginning of my quit I liked to get in the back of our walk in closet for my "crying jams" it so helped. I felt like I was totally alone. Only thing was if I stayed too long all three of my doggies started scratching the door like Mommy come out.....

Emotions are important I think. If we humans were all a bunch of non emotional robots life would be easy as pie but it would also be a dead bore. Emotions are so cleansing especially when they're "wet" like crying sessions -Wink

Chin up - I bet it's a good sign that this quit is "THE ONE" Deb..... maybe you never had these emotions like this before cause it wasn't right yet. Now it is, now you are getting in touch with you more than ever before.

Texas
_________________

"You can't always have happiness, but you can always give happiness."
Anonymous

Quit: 8/14/06
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 3:53 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Beth...I think I'm ok now. At least, not all teary. Went in to change grandson, and shooie, poohie..so, gave him a bath. He was having a ball splashing and playing with the duckie. That helped alot...having fun playing with the duck and him. Soo cute! Laughing He's in the walker now here in the front room with me....still won't let go of the duckie. Very Happy Laughing Laughing Need to put him down for a nap.

And, the tiolet paper is out of the dog's reach now. She's a very mischievous pup. Our older schaunzer wasn't as mischievous as this one. So, all messes we know are Jena's doing. She's a brat to say the least. But a cute brat. Rolling Eyes

Again thanks Beth...I guess those strong emotions are just a reflection of how deeply I feel about my quit this time. That, or this middle age gal is having some raging hormones going on. Laughing Rolling Eyes Ok, I've got to laugh so I don't go extreme again. Laughing Laughing It's said laughter is the best medicine. Watching the splashing and duck dive helped so much...just can't help but laugh...he is such a character and such a sweet little personality. And the faces...oh the faces he can make.

Till Later...Enjoy your Saturday. It's beautiful outside here!

Hugs
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Doggygirl



Quit Date:
February 26, 2007

Posts: 788
Location: Joliet, IL

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 4:31 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Texas, MAN can I relate to those times when you just hide and have a crying jag. (I call them pity parties because that's what they generally are, honestly, for me). And I can visualize the dogs getting tired of waiting, and scratching on the door! Wink

Deb I'm glad you had fun with your GS and the bath and all that! I can relate to a little mischevious pup too. The one who will snitch the SECOND training toy right out of your back pocket!!

I'm enjoying a rare Saturday to myself. I've gotten a few things done from my "to do" list, but have caught up with e-mail to friends and stuff like that mainly. Saturday is dog training day (and today is no exception). Normally I play "hostess" and organizer. It rained a LOT here this week, so we didn't want to train and make a mud pit here at our place. So we moved the venue to a park. While I've been fielding a lot of phone calls helping folks figure out where to go, it's been sort of a nice break not having to be the "smiling hostess" all day!!!!

I'm sure a few folks will come over for a beer when they are done at the park, and I'll get to hear all about the highs and lows of today's training! I normally enjoy being the "hostess" of this weekly thing, but for today, I'm glad to have a quasi "day off" mainly to myself.

Enjoy the rest of your day Deb!! You too Texas!!

Beth
_________________

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ~Francesca Reigler
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 5:48 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Texas, Hi! I don't know how I missed your post when I did the last post...not paying attention I guess. Embarassed

Crying is a good thing, yes, it does cleanse. Just not accustomed to out-of-the-blue crying. I'm just thankful that no one was around at the time. When I arrived home, son was here, but outside most of the time. Just little buddy and me inside. I guess it surprised me cause I'm not usually one to cry that often. Even during times when one should cry, I generally don't. It was just very intense earlier. You're probably right, Texas, getting in touch with myself more, because it's the "One". Could very well be. Both emotions where about the quit. And now that I sit here and think about...both were very positive. Anger at the addiction (that's good, not any looking back there) and overwhelming joy of being free from it. Texas, it probably is just what you said. Cause in previous quit the emotions have been negative....like getting mad at people and stuff that happens. Or upset because of something or some stress, or like you guys have said..pity me feelings. Feelings of despair and sadness. I've not experienced any of those type feelings this time. Yet, that could be that I've worked through those things in past quits and relapses. There's been just a confidence and surety with this one. Anyway, I'm rambling Rolling Eyes

Beth...those alone days are nice! Enjoy! Cool Very Happy

Thanks Girls...Love and Hugs
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 6:39 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deb, That helped me a bunch with my quit to get really mad at the addiction. To this day it still ticks me at how this killer we call cigarettes is legal. Or why there isn't more being done to educate people on the addiction. I get angry when I hear people say "it is a bad habit." It is so much more than a bad habit.

Anyway I'm glad you didn't do the puppy in. Laughing
_________________

Tammy
Free and loving it!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 7:56 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, guys, I need some help...long term quitters please! I don't know what the hell is happening here. I'm balling my eyes out about thinking about Mary going to Iraq. This is not normal Deb. These emotions are so intense and the feelings I've felt today so intense. No, I don't feel like smoking one bit. That's not the issue. Why am I feeling stuff so intensely? I need a physical explanation or a reason in the faith area. Cause frankly...it's starting to scare me.
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 10:12 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did some searching. I'm ok. This is normal. I can't go into all the scientific stuff...but I found out that this is all related to the limbic system of the brain.

Get this...and it makes so much sense now...

limbic affects...the emotions, behaviour, memory, strong relationship to the sense of smell, and motiviation.

It is also strongly influenced by dopamaine and serotin...which as we know nicotine affects the dopamine levels in our brains. How bout that.

So, I have a heighten sense of smell now, and today I was feeling an extremely high motiviation, and guess whatelse..yes, extremely high intensity of emotions.

So, ok, I have an explaination...and yes, I'm ok...it's all just part of the brain working things out since I quit...whew!

But, I have to wonder something...I'm using the patch..I still have nicotine in my system...yet, I'm seeing these changes since I quit smoking. It just begs the question...whatelse is in a cigarette that is effecting us so drastically along with the nicotine? I'm not going to search for an answer on that..one just wonders.

Hugs
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 10:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deb - I think nicotine is a factor in emotions - I think it damps all emotions - and as the body is adjusting to totally different chemistry - things can be extreme. Especially when you consider the changes in seratonin levels as the brain relearns how to manage without the nicotine interferring in "normal" functions. And I'm sure the normal hormone cycle plays a part too! Take a couple of really good deep breaths....Please be excited for me to be doing something I've dreamed of doing for a long time. I trained for alot of years - and now I'll get a chance to do the job I've been trained to do! I want to be part of the solution and do my part to finish the job and help get all of our troops home. Believe me - I've had my tearful moments too...but I have alot of faith that I'll be doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing right now - and quitting smoking and taking control of my life - losing weight, exercising, getting in great shape physically - I know I'll be coming home - even better and stronger.
Quitting is an emotional roller coaster - just hang on and know that it won't last forever.
_________________

Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: April 28, 2007 11:34 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Deb, if you would quit saying that word, the dog would quit filling the house with toliet paper...after all, they are helpful, loyal creatures...
Laughing Kay
_________________

All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: April 29, 2007 10:48 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mary,....Sorry about the breakdown yesterday. Chaulk it up to the quit. Wink I will be excited for you. Yes, it may dangerous, but inside you know it's what you are suppose to do. And even more than "suppose" to do, but it's a desire to do it. I understand that...the dreaming and training and looking forward to actually doing it. Mary....KUDOS! I'll be praying and have full confidence in you. Wink Cool As Larry the Cable Guy says...."Get 'er done". (I salute you!)

Kay... Laughing Laughing Laughing Needed a good laugh this morning...she does snuggle tight at night Wink Cool The little furball of terror! Did I mention she also snagged the driftwood I have displayed in a basket in the bedroom? Rolling Eyes Little Ruddy Dog! That's her nickname...ruddy dog! Of course, I'm the one who tagged her with that one.

Hugs
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: April 29, 2007 4:35 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Deb - Come back here and read this in about 3 years. You'll wonder where all that came from. As everyone keeps saying, "It keeps getting better." I almost feel normal somedays now. (Hee, hee Smile )
_________________

Essie
4/14/04
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > and rants All times are GMT - 4 Hours
Goto page 1, 2  Next
Page 1 of 2

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

quit smoking support
woofmang dot com