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jahunta



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Posts: 1129
Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA

PostPosted: June 14, 2007 12:24 PM    Post subject: Projecting... Reply with quote

This is kind of off topic, but if I don't write it down, I think I'm gonna 'splode!

Learning to be happy is difficult! Sounds stupid, but when you really get down to thinking about it, we are conditioned with a lot of negativity. Not necessarily negatively, but as we learn right/wrong, yes/no, black/white we accept negative things into who we are. I am combatting this theory and learning to live without these negative things.

One of the things that is a big problem for me is projection. After an event has occurred, instead of letting it play out as it should without interference from me, I try and predict the events that follow. I try and see both sides. I usually don't pay much attention to the positive side becuase, well...it turns out the way I want it to. Don't need to think about that. But what do I do if it doesn't turn out the way I want? What would I do then? And what would I do if He/She said this? and on and on and on. It's a viscious cycle that just leads to madness and uncertainty and I don't have time for that. If it doesn't turn out the way I want, then usually what happens is I get over it and life goes on. Whaddya know? Go figure? I get over it, and get on with it. It may suck for a while, but that's what happens sometimes.

I hate this, but such is life. So, on I go. Staying out of my own way, and letting the universe unfold as it should...

Damn, this sucks.

J Confused

P.S. On the lighter side of this, I just saw the Police live in Oakland last night...I'm so tired, but SO PUMPED!! They gave an awesome concert!! Rock on!!
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Zuzu



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Posts: 962
Location: Marin

PostPosted: June 14, 2007 1:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nita-

I have a very optimistic mother - she should have been called Pollyanna. I'm a very "this-is-the-best-of-all-possible-worlds" kind of girl as a result and everything happens for the best, even when I can't see clearly why a particular outcome IS "the best."

I'm not a religious person and I reject Christianity, but I do believe there is a "plan" or "design" for our lives... a "path" if you will... and if we try to step rightly on the earth and feel and understand the path, the easier it is for us to see why particular outcomes really are for "the best" even when sometime they don't match our desires and wants in the moment.

That doesn't mean that disappointments doesn't happen - but my mother would encourage you to spend less time contemplating the "what if" scenarios and spend more time contemplating why, perhaps, the way things turned out was precisely the way they needed to... in the best of all possible worlds.

I guess when I read you write that ou are conditioned with a lot of negativity, on some level I reject it. LOOK at the phenomenol and beautiful changes that have occurred in your life over the past three years. You have invariably been an inspiration for me as someone whose life blossomed the minute you embarked on this road of freedom. I can't remember this quote exactly... but I remember reading something... something to the effect that when things we don't like happen, we ask "why me!?" but equally when wonderful things happen to us we must also ask, "why me!?" Seems you're culpable for so many exciting and wonderful things happening to you over the past few years... I think you oughta square up to those things (wink.)

Despite it all, despite all these silly words, I hear you're having a hard time and my thoughts and heart go out to you.

-Zuzu
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jahunta



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PostPosted: June 14, 2007 2:07 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zuz,

You are such an awesome person. Forgive, if I haven't stated this before. I agree with everything you say, and think some of that negativity might come from my strict catholic upbringing and "beliefs" which I've been "recovering" from for years. You are right. So many amazing wonderful things have happened to me in the past 3 years, please understand I am not underscoring these events at ALL. I'm squarin' up, believe me! I thank the universe ever morning for waking me up, and that I have clothes, and shelter and feeling in my feet. I have always had this condition of trying to project my desires on a situation. This particular situation is a bit more difficult, and I think what more describes this situation is: "old habits die hard".

I'm just having a hard time now is all. Friends like you are so precious. Thanks!

J

P.S., So, when I make it to Yoshi's in the next year will you come see me?? Totally working on that.
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Zuzu



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Location: Marin

PostPosted: June 14, 2007 2:24 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nita-

I would try! What's your chances of getting booked at "19 Broadway" in Fairfax???? I'm literally spitting distance from that club!

What's the "particular situation?" I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

I hear you re: projecting desires on a situation. It's why, on the few rare occasions that I've bought a lottery ticket, that I never, ever, check to see if the ticket won or not. I prefer believing that I'm just that lucky and that I won, rather than to check to discover that perhaps I didn't. In my world, I've won the lottery more times than any person in history and I don't even play very often! (You might think I'm kidding, but .... er... sadly?.... I'm not.) When the sky is grey and cloudy and I'm feeling under the weather or unloved... and just think to myself, "hey, why not go win the lottery again?!"

Much love,
Zuzu
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
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PostPosted: June 16, 2007 3:52 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nita, you are not alone. I do that very same thing but I never gave too much thought about what I am doing. I would like to stop projecting things myself too. I like what Zuzu advised.
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kevin
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Quit Date:
November 19, 2001

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: June 16, 2007 10:09 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

nita, you wrote:
I just saw the Police live in Oakland last night...I'm so tired, but SO PUMPED!! They gave an awesome concert!!

i wonder if stewart would agree...

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/06/04/people.stewartcopeland.ap/index.html

Smile
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