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Lady
Quit Date: July 1, 2005
Posts: 378 Location: Georgia
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Posted: October 18, 2007 8:55 AM Post subject: I'm sick of it! |
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I'm tired of the depression. The last couple of days I've gotten really ticked off at the way depression has taken over my life. It's like when I quit smoking and realized how much it controlled what I did. My smoking was kind of replaced with depression and I've had enough.
Yesterday, I refused to let anything get me down. I tried to stay even in my emotions. You know, avoid the highs and lows. I had a great day. I've been taking my meds and I don't remember any tears yesterday at all.
I have a friend who says I haven't had 7 consequtive days without tears and self destruction since I quit smoking. My goal is to rectify that and prove him wrong. I can go 7 days without falling apart. I feel as if I've really gotten ticked off and I want control back.
The last couple of weeks I've been working a depression program on line. There are worksheets to track emotions and homework assignments to help recognize the highs and lows. Is this part of education and the learning about depression? Or Learning about myself?
Does anyone have any insite? I don't know what I'm looking for but I think I've just had a revelation. Comments???????? _________________
I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me. |
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Seabrez
Quit Date: -
Posts: 4458 Location: Gulf Coast
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Posted: October 18, 2007 9:52 AM Post subject: |
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Lady,
I think you've found the answer....you're fed up with it and ready to do some changing.
All I know....when I put my foot down and don't allow self-pity and those low opinions of myself to wreck havoc in the brain...the mood shifts and lifts. I keep an outlook for self-worth and dignity before me. Yeah, I may have some crappy days where things are not going so well, but I don't let that become personal or take it personally or as a reflection of who I am. I'm ok through the stuff of life.
Hugs Girl! You will beat this too! _________________
Living in Freedom
Deb
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB |
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Seabrez
Quit Date: -
Posts: 4458 Location: Gulf Coast
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Posted: October 18, 2007 10:14 AM Post subject: |
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Lady,
Thought about this.
In your mind you link quitting with being depressed. Like the quit is the reason for the depression. Grant it...it may have sparked some issues or more accurately uncovered some issues that need attention. But the actual quit isn't to blame for the depression.
Maybe not blaming the quit for the depression would help alot. First, you wouldn't be tempted to smoke as an answer to end the depression.
Recognizing the depression as a whole separate identity and issue would help. Not linked to quitting. Separate the two...because they are not necessarily related one to the other.
Hugs _________________
Living in Freedom
Deb
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB |
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Lady
Quit Date: July 1, 2005
Posts: 378 Location: Georgia
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Posted: October 18, 2007 11:12 AM Post subject: |
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Seabrez,
Recently someone said the same thing about linking Smoking and Depression that you just did. Followed by... If you went back to smoking you would just be a depressed smoker. That really made me stop and think.
I also agree that the smoking only covered up what was already there. It was self medication. Now, I have the ability to beat this just as I did smoking. I am fed up and I'm trying to move forward.
Taking things personally is where I have my biggest issues. I think I was insulted for so long in my life that I just automatically assume everything is negative. My perspectives had to change a lot when I quit. I guess it's time for some more changing.
I appreciate your constant support. It means a lot. (((Hugs))) to you. _________________
I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me. |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: October 18, 2007 11:59 AM Post subject: |
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i'm not sure i have any insight for you, lady, but i am curious: your friend who said you haven't had 7 consecutive days without tears and self destruction since you quit smoking; is he a smoker? i'm just wondering what his motivation for saying that was...
i think that the program you mention might be very good for you; you say that it has materials that help you to focus your awareness on what's going on for you, and i think it's very helpful to focus your awareness like this: after all, you can't deal effectively with what you can't see.
and who was it who said that the unexamined life is not worth living? _________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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Lady
Quit Date: July 1, 2005
Posts: 378 Location: Georgia
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Posted: October 18, 2007 12:59 PM Post subject: |
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Kevin,
The person who said I hadn't had 7 good days was actually my quit buddy. We met on another site and he has been a supporter of mine ever since. A good friend who knows some things I haven't shared with others. He's been through depression and been through quitting. Just in the opposite order that I'm doing.
I'm still a work in progress. _________________
I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me. |
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Seabrez
Quit Date: -
Posts: 4458 Location: Gulf Coast
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Posted: October 18, 2007 1:31 PM Post subject: |
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Lady,
Jumped back on to share something else...and cool..you said...
you're still a work in progress!
That's kinda along the lines I was thinking about. It all goes back to unconditional love. And how the Father accepts us just as we are...warts and all ...when we come to Him through His Son. Just the way we are. And we should follow the example He sets before us and accept our ownselves unconditionally too. Which is seeing ourself as worthy and of value. Now, of course, God doesn't want us to stay in the condition we come to Him, so He "sweetly and gently" begins the process of transforming us and molding us into His image. And again the same example...we are a work in progress with faults and flaws here and there, but we are still of value regardless of any shortcomings.
And we should view ourselves in the same manner. With love and acceptance...and realizing at the same time, yeah there's always room for improvement. And those improvements are just part of the remodeling job...it doesn't destroy the original structure...just enhances it!!
In other words...just because we have flaws doesn't mean we are worthless....it just means we are truly human!
Hugs! _________________
Living in Freedom
Deb
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB |
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Gracie
Quit Date: May 8, 2007
Posts: 65
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Posted: October 21, 2007 11:26 PM Post subject: |
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I understand how you feel. I feel depressed since I quit too. When I think back I was depressed before I quit just thinking of quitting. If you started again chances are that you would have even more reason to feel depressed because discouragement and guilt would be a part of it too. You've come a long way, way too long, so don't let this set you back.
I'm holding onto the hope that sunnier days are instore for you and for me and for all who feel depressed and think that smoking will change things? Like you said the depression already existed and it was mind over matter that made you think that smoking helped but no, it doesn't when you really think about it.
I'm glad you are seeking help and hopefully you will have an answer without resorting to a cigarette,
LoL, now that's my common sense speaking, the way I feel is another story.
Here's a big hug for you.. |
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Lady
Quit Date: July 1, 2005
Posts: 378 Location: Georgia
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Posted: October 22, 2007 9:22 AM Post subject: |
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Thank you so much Gracie for your response. You know, you quit on my birthday! That is pretty cool.
I don't have any intentions of going back to smoking. I use to tell people struggling with slipping that when your desire to quit outweighs your desire to smoke, you will quit. Well, my desire to quit still outweighs my desire to smoke
In church yesterday I came to some realizations. I would like to share just a couple here.
1. Yesterdays topic, being driven by God's will not driven by self, was very interesting. Are we focusing on what God wants us to do or on what WE want to do. All backed up with several scripture references using John the Baptist as an example of "it's not about me".
2. I realize that the last year has been focused on "me". What do I want. No wonder I don't know what "I" want and can't figure it out. I am a person who has faith and believes in God. Once I started praying 'Lord, show me what you want of me and where you want me to be' I wound up here. That IS faith and allowing God to work in my life.
3. God has also lead me to where I can grow as a Christian as well. Some people can never step foot in a church and feel close to God and continue a relationship with him. I am the type that needs to be feed so to speak. I need to be brought back to the center of my being in order to move forward. This is part of who I am and what I need. Isn't that the focus on personal growth? Learning ourselves, who we are, what we need, and how we think and feel?
I really have gotten fed up with my obsession of the depression. Just as I don't want to smoke, I don't want to be depressed. Can the same principles be applied?
Your thoughts? Anyone???? _________________
I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me. |
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Seabrez
Quit Date: -
Posts: 4458 Location: Gulf Coast
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Posted: October 22, 2007 10:19 AM Post subject: |
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Lady,
I truly believe they can be applied. After all, the principles we use here are life principles applied to quitting. Not the other way around!
Hugs..and Sweet Revelations! _________________
Living in Freedom
Deb
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB |
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Gracie
Quit Date: May 8, 2007
Posts: 65
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Posted: October 22, 2007 1:03 PM Post subject: |
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Lady, I once read that every addiction is a coverup of some deep seated problem that wasn't dealt with.
Solomon said in Proverbs " that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he"
so if we constantly dwell on negative things, we will be depressed because our thoughts control us.
I know you'll be okay so fight off the depressive thoughts with positive happy thoughts! It will be a plus in your effort to work on the things that are really troubling you. |
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Lady
Quit Date: July 1, 2005
Posts: 378 Location: Georgia
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Posted: October 23, 2007 3:49 PM Post subject: |
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I did it! I've gone 7 consequtive days without falling into that dark pit. I've almost been there several times but managed to put on the brakes! Tomorrow will be day 8. This is almost like my new quit. Instead of quitting smoking, I'm quitting being depressed. I have my tools, I'm working my program and keeping the blessings and positive thoughts on top!!!!!
It Can be done. Anything is possible. Even for me. _________________
I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me. |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: October 23, 2007 5:27 PM Post subject: |
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_________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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Seabrez
Quit Date: -
Posts: 4458 Location: Gulf Coast
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Posted: October 24, 2007 5:44 AM Post subject: |
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WTG Lady!!!!
Awesome, Girl!!! This is wonderful and so cool! I'm so extremely happy for you....WooHoo...dance that jig!!!
Good for you! God is good, so very good! Keep up the good progress and FREEDOM from the stronghold of depression! Gosh, I'm so excited for you. Breakthrough....cool!
Love and Huge Hugs, Lady!! _________________
Living in Freedom
Deb
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB |
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Lady
Quit Date: July 1, 2005
Posts: 378 Location: Georgia
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Posted: October 24, 2007 8:36 AM Post subject: |
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Seabrez,
I know you can appreciate this. I'm working with about 32 teens at the church here in our new area. Some of them I already knew and some of them I didn't. I ordered a series from Focus on the Family that talks to teens about life issues. There are 5 cd's in all. My son and I listened to the first one last night, which was "How to know you are really in Love". Granted these CD's were developed for Teens.... I kept finding myself saying... My new guy does that, my guy does that, and before long, I realized that my guy really loves me.
I went ahead and put in another of the 5 CD's. It is Frank Peretti talking about "Wounded Hearts". So much comes along with us from our past. A wounded spirit is a hard thing to overcome. My spirit has been so wounded in the past that it's amazing I haven't given up. I think that my quitting smoking was the first step into realizing that I could rise above the things that held me prisoner. I'm still working on that. I'm actually making progress and it feels so good.
In doing for others and giving of ourselves (like me giving to the teens) we really get back so much more than we give. I have these CD's for them and they are really helping me. It always amazes me to see our great God at work. Keep praying for me. _________________
I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me. |
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