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Leona
Quit Date: June 1, 2017
Posts: 1838 Location: Alpena, Michigan
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Posted: November 6, 2007 6:27 PM Post subject: Just STopping by |
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Well my course has been set. I have ended my relationship with my fiance even though we still live in the same house and have a ammicable relationship as freinds we are no longer a couple. No one but us knows this and the man I love. Even though the man I love and I can never be together as a couple I still love him and I know that he loves me.
Sounds strange does it not well it is and it isn't. Age and the fact he has a fiancee stop us from being together although he assures me that there is someone out there for me that will treat me a like he says I deserve to be treated.
I have my doubts that I will ever find that person but... One day perhaps he will find me although I doubt it completely. I know that I will not be looking. I have already wasted 30 years of my life on the ones that I thought I would spend the rest of it on. So now I am ready to fly solo and find the real me. To face those issues that again plague my life and mind.
To start on this journey much as I did when I quit smoking I make up my mind that this life I now live is finished and with time I will begin a new one. Frightened like I was when I gave up my crutch(smoking) I put one foot in front of the other and move forward, sometimes taking a backward step as well.
When I quit smoking I never imagined I would be three years 7 months a non smoker and I never imagined I wouldn't miss it. But this I do not miss and I am now over 3 years quit and no regrets. The only regrets I will have in leaving Michigan for unknown parts is that I will be leaving family behind and going where I know no one. Hence a new beginning, a new life, a new person will emerge from the cocoon that houses the broken, hurt woman before you.
It looks as if I may end up in Florida, or Minnesota either will be fine but one is cold and the other warm I am hopeing for the warm state..I am tired of the cold and snow ready for the warmth and tranquiltiy of sun and fun.. I do hope that I will be able to have the fun of life.
As I previously stated I am now a non smoker and if I had continued to be a smoker I couldn't even begin to imagine this journey. What does one have to do with the other you ask... Well let me tell you, As a smoker and if I had continued I wouldn't of taken the journey to better my life by not smoking and now I take a different kind of journey to better my life. I take a journey with a bigger step but a step just the same and like with smoking it takes courage to do.
What prompted this move you ask well like with smoking I realized that it was time to make a change as my life wasn't getting any better and the depression was getting worse. I was planning on my own suicide and it was coming soon. The holidays which have been hard for me for more then 20 years were fast coming upon us. And this along with the fact that my now Ex Fiance hadn't said he loved me in more then 5 years or touched me in more then 2 years well needless to say I need to cut some dead wood and like with smoking it was time to do so.
So within 2 years I will be changing my life yet again and it all started with one small step the decision to quit smoking... _________________
Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age. |
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kannprint
Quit Date: April 10, 2004
Posts: 4988 Location: St. Louis, MO
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Posted: November 6, 2007 7:06 PM Post subject: |
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I wish you well, quit bud. We've begun this journey to freedom together and are both still enjoying our freedom from smoking. Now you must begin another journey to freedom of another kind. I know you're going to get through this just as you've gotten through all the past tough times. Florida sounds great to me but so does Minnesota. Whatever you decide, do stay close and keep us up-dated. _________________
LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo |
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machias
Quit Date: September 17, 2007
Posts: 94 Location: Florida
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Posted: November 6, 2007 7:14 PM Post subject: Florida |
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Florida is not bad-there are some really neat small towns in the pan handle and it doesn't get too hot there-less hurricans as well. I truely believe you meet "mister right" when you stop looking for him. |
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Leona
Quit Date: June 1, 2017
Posts: 1838 Location: Alpena, Michigan
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Posted: November 6, 2007 9:42 PM Post subject: |
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Jo, I will keep you and everyone here in touch with what I am doing but it will be a couple of years before I am able to move froward I have some legal stuff going on and the one that will be taking me away from here will be working on getting his finances in order but he wants me near him to help me out and guide me through all the trumoil my life has put me through he in essence wants to help me heal..First time I can truely remember someone caring enough about me to do that...Anyway I will keep you all posted on this
Machias, I look forward to coming to florida if this is where we end up. But the nice thing is now I have only me to worry about no kids to worry about as they are all grown up and on their own...I will keep in mind about the panhandle. I don't know aout hurrcanes that would be a new experience and scary as well but I would rather that then the eternal snow and cold of winter here. in Michigan and probably in Minnesota as well but either place I will be making a home _________________
Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age. |
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essie662
Quit Date: April 14, 2004
Posts: 3388 Location: MI
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Posted: November 6, 2007 9:54 PM Post subject: |
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Leona ~ It is good to hear from you. I wish you well with the changes you must make and like JO I hope you will stay in touch. Florida sounds great to me right now being a fellow Michigander and watching the snow fly and the wind blow today. Take care of yourself, Leona. _________________
Essie
4/14/04 |
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Leona
Quit Date: June 1, 2017
Posts: 1838 Location: Alpena, Michigan
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Posted: November 6, 2007 10:00 PM Post subject: |
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Essie we don't have the snow yet but it is sure cold here and I am dreading winter... My feet are already icy cold and protesting. And rats no one to stick my feet on so they can warm it up not that they have done so in the past few years ....o.0 Anyways I will keep in touch most assurably....How can I not keep in touch with my quit buddies... God forbid _________________
Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age. |
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Zuzu
Quit Date: -
Posts: 962 Location: Marin
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Posted: November 6, 2007 10:16 PM Post subject: |
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Good luck, Leona!
-Zuzu |
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Seabrez
Quit Date: -
Posts: 4458 Location: Gulf Coast
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Posted: November 6, 2007 10:27 PM Post subject: |
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Leona,
It's good to hear from you. And wow! what a life altering decision!...But, as you said, there comes a time when change is necessary sometimes. May it be all you hope for...and the life journey is a fulfilling one!!
and yeah...cold weather, snow, ice...burr...but, whichever cold or sun...be happy regardless of the weather outside!
Big Hugs _________________
Living in Freedom
Deb
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB |
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Cowgirl UP!
Quit Date: July 26, 2004
Posts: 5029 Location: Ala
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Posted: November 6, 2007 10:30 PM Post subject: |
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You will get through this like you have made it through your other trials...I know you to be a very strong woman...thank you for all the support you have given to me and for helping me along this path...Best of luck to you Leona and please keep in touch.
Kay _________________
All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP |
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Leona
Quit Date: June 1, 2017
Posts: 1838 Location: Alpena, Michigan
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Posted: November 6, 2007 10:31 PM Post subject: |
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Thanks Zuzu Think pehaps I ll need it _________________
Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age. |
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Mary Dude
Quit Date: June 15, 2004
Posts: 4803 Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Posted: November 7, 2007 2:56 AM Post subject: |
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Leona - glad you stopped by with an update - you are ready for a change. Taking that first step is hard , but you know its time and are working towards your future....awesome start...having a vision is necessary to make it come true....you are worth the work it will take to get to your dream - but it will be sweet when you achieve it...you will always find friends here...stop back when you can...I pray you find some peace in your world. _________________
Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness! |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: November 7, 2007 12:13 PM Post subject: |
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great to see you, leona! and i'm sure this turning point will be every bit as good for you as the one when you quit smoking; it may not always be easy, but it's when the struggle's the toughest that we grow the most. keep us in the loop.
_________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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Leona
Quit Date: June 1, 2017
Posts: 1838 Location: Alpena, Michigan
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Posted: November 7, 2007 1:55 PM Post subject: |
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Mary Dude... I will be glad when it actually happens but as I said in my post it will be about 2 years before I can some legal things and waiting for the man that is going to come and get me to get his affairs in order and can take me away from this life.
Kevin.... I will most certainly keep you all in the loop... I am anxious to start over and will be scared to death at the same time but I do hope it will be worth it... I will most asuradly keep keep every one of you here in my heart and mind I will stop by more often then I did. _________________
Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age. |
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Barbara K.
Quit Date: December 23, 2004
Posts: 5977
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Posted: November 9, 2007 6:54 PM Post subject: |
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Hi Leona,
I hope you have a great journey in your travels through life. _________________
Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Blessings,
Barbara K. |
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daggy12
Quit Date: -
Posts: 678 Location: Palm Bay, FL
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Posted: November 12, 2007 12:33 PM Post subject: |
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I have found in the past when a change was needed . I did the whole enchilda . And it really helped!!!.
Oh by the way its 79 here today in Florida and beautiful I will make the time to get some sun today. _________________
Life can only be "understood" by looking backward, but must be "lived" by looking forward.
Patty |
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