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Having a rough time

 
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nichole



Quit Date:
April 14, 2007

Posts: 455
Location: So Cal

PostPosted: November 17, 2007 12:35 PM    Post subject: Having a rough time Reply with quote

Today is my family's fake Turkey Day... I am having everyone over to my house. We traditionally get together the Sat before Thanksgiving because the family is so big and it's hard to get everyone together on the actual day...

Anyway, as you may know, I recently lost my cousin to breast cancer. This will be the first time since her death that all of us are together. I have been expecting it to be an emotional time, but also a lot of fun. I have been feeling old Scowling Demon poking his head out over the last few days, but I keep putting him back in his place.

Then, early this morning, I got a call from a close friend that her husband was killed in a car accident last night. I am so upset and my heart is breaking for her and her kids. I immediately went into a horrible craving. It feels like I'm back to week #1... I don't intend on giving in.. I know that won't solve anything. But, I can't believe how strongly it came on. I have been feeling so solid in my quit and now I feel like I'm on shaky ground....
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~nichole
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: November 17, 2007 2:03 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nichole

Sweetheart, you do have a strong quit. With all that you have been through lately with the passing of a close family member, the fires, and now the holidays, and then, to back the camel's back the awful news of your friend's husband...you have reached the emotional and stress overload limit the body is able to cope with. In the past we would handle such crisis by smoking. It was an automatic reaction we had built into our lives. Now, you've reached that point, and it's normal that the demon has appeared as a reaction to all this bad stuff happening. It's part of the experiencing everything at least once as a non-smoker that we did as a smoker. With the quit....this is probably the first extreme case of such stress and turmoil, and you need to just live it out withhout smoking. The renewing process. You're facing alot right now. After dinner, and when everyone has gone home, try and take sometime for you to just cry and process everything. You need some down time for yourself.

Wish there was a way to make all this disappear for you. Your heart is probably in so many pieces right now. Take some deep breaths and just take it a moment at a time today.

My heart goes out to you.....
Love Ya {{{{{{Nichole}}}}}}
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Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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nichole



Quit Date:
April 14, 2007

Posts: 455
Location: So Cal

PostPosted: November 17, 2007 2:42 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Deb... I really appreciate the kind words! I came here instead of smoking. I know I will get through this without a puff... Thanks again!
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~nichole
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: November 17, 2007 6:48 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a terrible blow, Michole. I can imagine how old Laughing Demon decided that this was a good time to raise his ugly head. I hope having your family around you today at your "fake" Thanksgiving celebration helped you get through this shock of the loss of a friend.

You're in my thoughts and prayers, Nichole.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: November 17, 2007 9:06 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good job Nichole! Keep kicking old nicodemon to the curb where he belongs. Remind yourself often - smoking never makes anything better... Freedom is precious - treasure it...and see through old Laughing Demon 's lies! I'm so sorry for all of the losses in your life..
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: November 17, 2007 10:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

strong emotions, whether positive or negative, can be triggers; most of us (to one degree or another) used to smoke to cover up strong emotions, and so strong emotions trigger that response. but we get to choose how to respond to any stimulus, and you made the right choice here.

(((nichole)))
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Patty129



Quit Date:
February 18, 2007

Posts: 828
Location: Saginaw, MI

PostPosted: November 18, 2007 8:39 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Nichole.....warm thoughts to you and big hugs from my heart.....you have really been through it all this year. I sure hope your dinner was a happy experience for you and that the thoughts of smoking stayed as far away as possible.....You have an awesome quit going, and you have been such a wonderful support to so many of us.....your humor and joy shine through in your posts.....and my hope is that we can offer you the same right back.
Patty
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jlynn931



Quit Date:
September 22, 2016

Posts: 785
Location: MA

PostPosted: November 18, 2007 11:31 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

nichole so sorry to hear about your friend's husband. stay strong!

hope you had a great early thanksgiving!
jenny
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nichole



Quit Date:
April 14, 2007

Posts: 455
Location: So Cal

PostPosted: November 18, 2007 12:49 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, everyone for all the support! No, I did not give in, nor do I have any intention of doing so. I am trying to remember to go back to the basics ... just take the craves (and emotions) as they come. Take them for what they really are. This, too, shall pass...

Thanks again!
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~nichole
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: November 18, 2007 1:55 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bless you Nicole, you're having a rough week, hang in there! I see your quit day is the same as mine (just different years) so I thought I would let you know that the first batch of holidays after I quit held a lot of triggers. I smoked 42 years so there wasn't much I hadn't done without a cigarette in hand most of my life. I found myself looking for them as I stressed for the holidays. I got through that year and am looking forward to this one. I love being smoke free and you will too. I promise you you'll wonder what you were thinking when next year gets here. Take care of yourself, Nicole and pop in whenever you need a friend!
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Essie
4/14/04
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: November 19, 2007 8:40 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nicole,

No matter how hard things may seem, don't give in and don't give up. Deep breaths, posting, mints, candy, gum and all the other things you used in the beginning still work. It takes time to learn to handle "life" without the crutch but in time we do learn.

I hope you enjoyed your turkey and that all was well.

Lady
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I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me.
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daggy12



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 678
Location: Palm Bay, FL

PostPosted: November 19, 2007 2:01 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nicole,

Im so sorry Hugs to you and your friends family.
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Life can only be "understood" by looking backward, but must be "lived" by looking forward.

Patty
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: November 22, 2007 9:23 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nicole,

How was today? I hope you had more joy than sorrow.

I am proud of you for facing the nicodemon and resisting him.
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Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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