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If you had no Family

 
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: November 28, 2007 2:18 AM    Post subject: If you had no Family Reply with quote

What would you be thankful for then?

I don't want any pity but I have to tell you that it hurt to see a lot of you bring up the fact that you are thankful for your family. I thought that it was something unusual to be thankful for in the midst of someone who has no family. It felt like someone had put a knife in my back and stared to twist it.
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Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: November 28, 2007 3:16 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barbara, I think I would be thankful for health, independence, and opportunities. There is a freedom to not be constrained by the "requirements" of family - but it does challenge us to create our own "family" with others who share our circumstances. We are only "alone" if we choose to be.

Its easy to think no one cares - but that's not true... I told myself - I can have a pity party for myself - or I can do something to change the situation - it comes back to a choice....I hope this makes sense...I'm pretty tired should head home a get some sleep.
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Seabrez



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Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: November 28, 2007 10:26 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barb,

What Mary said is very wise. There is a special freedom in being single. Paul mentioned it when he was talking of marriage. He said that he would rather men be like him (single) because those who are single have the unique opportunity to fully and completely serve and devote time to God. Where the ones with family have to consider the responsibility of family.

Barb, why some have family and others are single is a mystery of God. He creates where He does and places where He wants. We shouldn't measure or compare ourselves against what we have or don't have in life...but we should compare ourselves with and measure ourself up against God and His standards. Read 2 Corninthians 10:12-18. Also God sets us in our own limit or sphere of afluence...our own region as the Word puts it. And it is here we live and touch others. And that may or may not include family. But it does include people whether blood related or not. And in His eyes....His family is bonded together in the unity of the Spirit. That is family. Barb...hook up with a good "loving" church. The mark of a good church is love and all the members being like family. That is where you are going to feel fullfilled inside...by being with others and loving others. That's why that emptiness is there....it's not so much blood-related, but relationship-related love you are seeking.

And to answer your question....the Lord, freedom, and my health and well-being.

Love and Hugs
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Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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kevin
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Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: November 28, 2007 11:30 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

my health, my freedom, my friends, the unlimited opportunity to be whatever i want to be, to do whatever i choose to do, with whoever i choose to do it with, whenever and wherever i choose to do it...

there are lots of things besides family to be thankful for, barbara, but you have to look for them. it's just as easy to find the good as it is the bad; we all have our share of both. it's a question of focus: are you going to focus on what you don't have, or what you don't want, or are you going to focus on what you do have, and what you do want?
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keep choosing life!

kevin

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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: November 28, 2007 2:52 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everyone has written my thoughts but I'll second all of them. There are some families that no one would be thankful for.

I'm thankful for my belief in God and for living in a country that allows me to continue and practice that belief. I'm thankful for friends; for nourishment; for the intelligence that allows me to learn, to read, etc.; for the beauty that surrounds me in God's creation.

I can understand why you were feeling as you were, Barbara, but there are many things you can do to remedy that lonely situation. Please know that you're not alone. We here at woofmang love you and care what happens in your life. Stay close.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: November 28, 2007 10:20 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with what the others have said and want to add that we are family here too, so in that respect you do have family. You're special to all of us
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Essie
4/14/04
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: November 28, 2007 11:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am sorry you were offended by the remarks of family...I don't think anyone thought how someone else may be feeling during that time...I agree with all the above and let me say that this is an extention of my family...cyber or not.
Kay
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daggy12



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Posts: 678
Location: Palm Bay, FL

PostPosted: November 29, 2007 1:58 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barb,
Because of were I live most people move here without their families. I have invited people I barely know for the holiday meals many times because i knew they would be unable to be with their families. Over the years I got to choose that they are my extended family as they did about me. (It sure does make it interesting when you explain who's who Laughing to you real family)I have found that the people that want to be together versus the family that has to celebrate together because they are family is diffently different. i hope you understand this....
Oh and this year I choose to be with my bestfriend this year.
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Life can only be "understood" by looking backward, but must be "lived" by looking forward.

Patty
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: December 4, 2007 3:05 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

May I say that I didn't mean to give anyone the understanding that I am not thankful for anything. I am just thankful for many things completely different than those of you who responded. I believe that this is where a lot of cyber misunderstandings arise from. After some rehashing of my blessings I'd like to share some. Before I do though, I'd like to also mention that what I felt bad about was the fact that it was mentioned by many that they were thankful for thier family. I have brothers, cousins, and thier children but I am not thankful for them. So I felt left out when some mentioned being thanful for their family. My mom raised me to think of family as a very vital part of ones life. She taught me to stick by my family, to love them, take care of them when in need. So natually it rubbed me the wrong way when everything I was taught to do was only causing me heartache by doing so. When my mom passed in 2005 the rest of my family did not need me anymore and that's when I started being rejected by my brothers, cousins, and their kids. To further explain, my house was the only one wheelchair accessible which my mom was in one so all get togethers was at my house. I'm only human and got to feeling down for not having what people were thankful for and to which I am not thankful for anymore. It was after all something I was taught to cherish all my life, my family, and not doing so had caused me to have some emotions which started this post. To further explain the situation, the family I have left are rather abusive to me which compound the bad feeling of not having the kind of family to be thankful for. This is the cycle of abuse and how I became entangled in an abusive marriage. A year ago this month I have been in my very own apartment living alone after 12 years with my abusive ex. I have come a long way this past year. I have changed a lot since having my independance. I would have to say that last year at this time I would not have had the nerve to express myself like I did when I started this post.

1. I am thankful that every day I am a bit wiser than the day before.
2. I am thanful that God is always with me even when I'm not with him.
3. I am thanful that I am even alive at my age because so many have died before they have reached my age.
4. I am thankful that that I have learned to love myself.

Now to respond to each of you individually.

Mary: I was more alone when married. I have more people now than ever. I do choose my friends but I have no choice who I have as family.

Deb, God should come 1st even before ones earthly family. I do have family but they are absent on Holidays and very detrimental to me at other times.

Kevin, I do have things to be thankful for.

Jo, I have brothers, cousins, and their kids that I am not thankful for. Thank you for the hug as it means a lot.

Essie, thank you too for the hug.

Kay, thank you for saying for the most part what I originally thought about what I wanted to hear. Although now that I think back on it on my part I feel like a child wanting to hear I'm sorry. You still made me feel good.

Patty, you made perfect sense to me. I have a close friend who I'd rather be with than my family. And even not so close freinds I'd rather be with than my family.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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