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This Is Ridiculous. I've Had a Panic Attack Already and ...
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Linda661



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 44
Location: Washington

PostPosted: February 1, 2008 11:12 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, things are definitely going better now that I've completed Module 1 -- my mind is calm now that I'm beginning into more solid preparing for quit day in the program. I would say in all that it has helped to have this episode of mine to have occurred now: it certainly made for a committed and detailed closing the back doors homework assignment....probably the best assignment I've completed so far. One feedback I got at FFS is that it appeared I had nailed those doors shut!


Laney, you weren't a bad parent and I certainly didn't want to bring up guilt in anyone -- times were different then and no one knew about the cycle of addiction and what it can do (that I know of, anyway), let alone what junkie talk from smoking could sound like. I certainly don't blame my family for what happened ... it was what it was.... -- they were who they were and did the best they could. I seriously doubt they meant any harm. That doc. was wanting some other serious lifestyle changes that even I objected to -- I basically would have been living in a sterile environment with none of my beloved pets around, etc. It was my own stubborness that got me well too on that asthma score -- probably will work here too when I call it up as long as it comes up on the side of the fence I want it to.

Thanks all for your input. Everyone has points I could respond too: the fear of failure issue, for example, and on it goes. It's all helping.

Linda
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Linda661



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 44
Location: Washington

PostPosted: February 1, 2008 12:48 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh geez....thanks so much for the link Cat! That's an awesome sight (much more to check out there too).

When I said before that I didn't enjoy smoking anymore, I hadn't appreciated that I am using smoking to evoke feelings of enjoyment such as stress relief.....wow. True, I don't enjoy the physical act of smoking anymore, but I have been getting "enjoyment" from it that I don't have to give up. I may not be saying this real clearly, but a big lightbulb went off on what I saw at your link. I was taking this enjoyment thing literally at the act of smoking itself rather than what emotional benefit I was "looking for" in those moments I smoke.....good....that should help me with my FFS Pack Tracks assignment too.

This issue of hanging onto the thought of willpower...like I'm depriving myself of something.....I won't be! Way cool. I'm glad that sight even hinted that the same thought process they give there works with weight loss. I'll definitely breathe a sigh of relief if I'm learning a thought process I can apply to food too -- that site seems to indicate that. Not real crazy about the potential prospect of gaining weight (I just know I don't have to...in fact I will lose the weight I want to) -- I've already gained 50 pounds that haven't come off yet (not sure how that happened considering I literally didn't have time eat or I actually forgot to eat a lot during all that family stuff that went on).

Linda
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nichole



Quit Date:
April 14, 2007

Posts: 455
Location: So Cal

PostPosted: February 1, 2008 5:47 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hiya Linda,

I had the same type of thinking before I quit and early into my quit. It is very normal to have anxiety about removing a part of our lives that we have made to feel "natural". I started dealing with the anxiety the same way I learned (from this site Wink ) to deal with the cravings.... just let them happen. Once you realize that you aren't going to die from a craving or a panic attack, neither one is quite so scary.

BTW, I didn't think I was really quitting for health reasons, either... until I quit and realized how much BETTER I felt! This whole process really is worth it.... I promise! Hang in there and keep posting!! Very Happy
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~nichole
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LANEY



Quit Date:
January 12, 2011

Posts: 322
Location: OHIO

PostPosted: February 1, 2008 9:22 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Linda, Oh Wow! The last thing I meant to do is to lay a quilt trip on you. You're doing fine & you shouldnt feel bad that I made a trip down memory lane! If something I wrote clicks with somebody that wants to quit, with kids in the house, hopefully it will help them. But no way do you owe me a apology! I know during all of this, people tend to be a little more sensative, but you're doing fine & I appriciate your message back to me. We're all big girls & boys here, we can take anything! I've only had one disagreement on here, probably 4 years ago. One sentence & it was blown way out of porportion. (I made a mistake by thanking a woman whos husband was over seas fighting for us) Kevin stopped it & I apoligized. (even though I was right!!!!!) Just keep posting your feelings, good & bad. They are "yours" & nobody will, or has the right to tell you different.When you ask for help, you'll get it. When you just need to rant & bitch, were here to listen. We're in this together & with all you've posted already, has helped other quiters. You fit right in, welcome to the family! Laney
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Life isn't about how to survive the storm........ But how to dance in the rain. author unknown
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