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Barbara K.
Quit Date: December 23, 2004
Posts: 5977
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Posted: March 13, 2008 3:21 AM Post subject: What about life after Bondage, supression? |
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For most of us those terms, "bondage and supression," means to them freedom from smoking. To me it means much more; "freedon from human bondage and supression," which has been one of the dark sides in my past. I sometimes wonder if I should become a drunk now? Nah, it would keep me from achieving my dreams and I won't let booze interfer with my dreams. I don't know why it seems that someone up there doesn't like me that much. Has it been because I feel like I've turned my back on him? Have I lost my hope I once held onto for so many years with my dear life? I sit here tonight feeling really defeated at the point.
I owe the IRS money, credit cards are in trouble due to some emergency purchasing needs. My aparment complex is worst than a soap opera, it's more like Jerry Springer here. I've been humilitlated, used, and back stabbed by some who I thought were my friends. I think I've learned my lesson though that it is best to keep to myself here as much as possible.
I feel like a fish out of water in the cold crewl world. Even in the controlled supression I had for so many year it was all I knew and it felt cozy to a point. At the time most of my dealings were with one control supressor who was my husband.
Security is my number one thing on my mind and I won't have that soon. I'd like to be a team member, to have a best friend who is really a best friend through thick and thin. I don't believe any where anymore.
Heh, this is too heavy stuffl. Everything looks better after sleeping on it so that's whay I'll do. _________________
Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Blessings,
Barbara K. |
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kannprint
Quit Date: April 10, 2004
Posts: 4988 Location: St. Louis, MO
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Posted: March 13, 2008 9:04 AM Post subject: |
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Sorry things seem so rotten right now, Barbara. I really have no suggestions other than becoming active in something like your church or volunteering at a hospital; something that would put you with other caring-type people.
You know we're all here for you so post as often as you like. _________________
LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo |
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Pamela
Quit Date: -
Posts: 3542 Location: Gardiner, NY
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Posted: March 13, 2008 10:57 AM Post subject: |
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Here's a hug, Barb, if that'll help.
You don't seem like anything but a strong person to me, and I hope today looks brighter. _________________
FIVE + years of freedom and loving it! |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: March 13, 2008 12:30 PM Post subject: |
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"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."
~ Helen Keller
what she didn't say was that the adventure would always be fun. but here's another thing she said: "...the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it."
i'm with pam; you've shown yourself to be a strong, resourceful, and resilient person, barbara, and that counts for more than security or false friends.
i'll leave you with one more quote:
"You're braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think."
~ Christopher Robin _________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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Barbara K.
Quit Date: December 23, 2004
Posts: 5977
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Posted: March 14, 2008 3:54 PM Post subject: |
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Thank you Jo, Pam, and Kevin.
Kevin, what you said brings to mind of what my grandma use to tell me. "If every day was a joyous day, life would be pretty boring."
I really scared my sister last night as she's across country and not able to come over to see me and be here for me physically. I am much better today but still finding my way. _________________
Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Blessings,
Barbara K. |
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Leona
Quit Date: June 1, 2017
Posts: 1838 Location: Alpena, Michigan
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Posted: March 14, 2008 8:52 PM Post subject: |
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Barb
you know my phone number and even if I am busy if you need to really spill it I will drop what I am doing to listen...Just tell me. I listen to a freind if they need me that is what freinds do. _________________
Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age. |
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Barbara K.
Quit Date: December 23, 2004
Posts: 5977
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Posted: March 14, 2008 9:21 PM Post subject: |
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Thanks Leona,
I'm okay for now. _________________
Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Blessings,
Barbara K. |
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Mary Dude
Quit Date: June 15, 2004
Posts: 4803 Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Posted: March 16, 2008 6:49 PM Post subject: |
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((((BARBARA)))) Keeping you in my thoughts and my prayers...hang in there.... _________________
Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness! |
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Barbara K.
Quit Date: December 23, 2004
Posts: 5977
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Posted: March 20, 2008 3:28 PM Post subject: |
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Thank you Mary,
I'm doing much better this week. I have so much going for me now. _________________
Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Blessings,
Barbara K. |
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Snowlover
Quit Date: -
Posts: 566 Location: Northern California
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Posted: March 21, 2008 2:43 PM Post subject: |
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Good to hear you're doing better. Boy, when you're having a bad day or week - the whole world seems to be against you. But it really is just what you are focusing on in your mind.
K |
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Barbara K.
Quit Date: December 23, 2004
Posts: 5977
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Posted: March 24, 2008 11:10 PM Post subject: |
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Thanks Kaye, _________________
Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Blessings,
Barbara K. |
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