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Rant- scream, yell ,stomp foot - I hate this!!!

 
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alpha425



Quit Date:
March 11, 2008

Posts: 35

PostPosted: March 18, 2008 11:09 PM    Post subject: Rant- scream, yell ,stomp foot - I hate this!!! Reply with quote

Rant- scream, yell ,stomp foot - I hate this!!!
Today sucks!! Fot those of you who don't know the story of Heidi's year - First I had surgery on my torn rotator cuff, on my dominant side, of course. On to physical therapy, which I didn't finish because I found a lump in My breast. Numerous tests, and painful biopsies later, breast cancer was confirmed. The diagnosis came May 11, 07, my birthday. On Jun. 14 I had a mastectomy and tissue expanders were put in. Skin expansion and 4 surgeries later, 2 involving breast reconstruction the results are completely un-satisfactory!! I should have been done with all around Jan.1.
I found a new plastic surgeon and we decided to do re-re-construction surgery after I quit smoking (Just 1 motivating factor.)
During this time I developed a type of colitis and that dr. put me on steroid med for 3 mos.
Having been quit for 1 week I called the plastics dr. He now says that I have to wait at least 2 more months.
Another of my surgeries was for a complete hysterectomy. Because of the type of breast cancer I can't take any hormones, or even most herbals. Needless to say I am an emotional wreck!!! Can you tell?
I am anrgy, frustrated, sick of dr's! I just want to put all this behind me. I want to look and feel "normal" (whatever THAT is.) It was high 60's today, I want to go to the beach with my kids. I want to look normal in my bikini. I want me back, even tho' I know I'll never be the same person I was before all this.
I am cancer free and very grateful for that.I am also still smoke free even if sorely tested at the store today!! Can't smoke em if you don't have em!!!

Heidi


I have been breathin' clean and clear in sunny So. Cal. for 1 Week, 13 hours, 48 minutes and 28 seconds . I have saved $37.48 by not smoking 227 cigarettes. I have saved 18 hours and 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/11/2008 3:30 AM
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: March 18, 2008 11:54 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

(((you)))
_________________

keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: March 19, 2008 8:26 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heidi, what can one say? Life doesn't always deal us fair blows, and most things we can't control. Our smoking addiction we can control...hard as it may seem at times.

And, what is normal? Many of us quitters struggle with what was the Old, smoking normal, and what we have become as non smokers. I've heard people use the excuse "I don't feel like myself as a non smoker" to give in to the addiction.

It's junky talk. You will be You, Normal will be whatever you accept it to be at the moment.

I don't know if this makes any sense. Just know that smoking will NOT bring back the old, "normal" you from before the surgurys. Smoking will NOT make you feel or look better. But, you know that.

Meanwhile...here's a hug...its the best I can do.
_________________

FIVE + years of freedom and loving it!
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Snowlover



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 566
Location: Northern California

PostPosted: March 19, 2008 9:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heidi,

So glad you came here to share your rant with us.

You know we care and wish you all the best.

Congrats on hanging in there with your quit.
Kaye
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: March 20, 2008 10:28 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

(((Heidi)) You sure have had the year from ..... but you have made it through you are a suvivor and we are darn proud of you. Good for you to rant like you ahve it gets if off th echest.. We are here for you and come and rant all you want. Better then smoking
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Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age.
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: March 31, 2008 8:30 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

{{{{{Hiedi}}}}}
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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